Robert Wuhl told me so

In a bit of Revisionist History, Stuffed Cabbage was invented not by a Chef, but by a really bored Engineer


I love Revisionist Histories. You always learn something new...mostly because they're made-up nonsense.


History is always "Based On A True Story." So here's the true story behind this delicacy.


Shouldn't you have True in quotation marks up there?


Some time ago, Nautical Engineer Stanley Krawczyk was studying Cole's Law of Thermodynamics as it relates to pressure build-up in an airlock system. Krawczyk was redesigning airlocks for Polish submarines, because apparently, the original design had a leak for some reason. While doing his research, he had a sudden and unexplained hankering for cabbage. After seeing the outrageous price for cabbage stew at the university's commissary and buying an apple instead, he decided to go across the street to buy a cabbage in order to make his own stew that night.


That was a really long way to go for a joke. Most readers probably won't get either of the jokes you embedded in that paragraph.


Krawczyk sat in his office working on his new airlock design, and as engineers often do, he became bored and started playing with the head of cabbage on his desk. He was particularly intrigued by the way the leaves were all very tightly wrapped and interweaved. Due to the inexplicable urge embedded in all engineers to take stuff apart to see how it works, he began to unwrap the cabbage head leaf by leaf to examine the inner workings...which most people would know is simply more leaves...but he was curious. After 3 full hours, his former cabbage had been reduced to a giant pile of individual leaves strewn about his desk...completely unfit for stew-making. A new dinner solution was required.

After he went home, he wrapped his individual cabbage leaves around some ground meat he had laying around, (since that's what you do with vegetables to make them taste better) and baked them with some tomato sauce. With that, the famous Polish delicacy Golumpki (stuffed cabbage) was born. It has to be true...because, seriously...why the frig would anybody ever think to do this?


So what did you make for dinner last night?


Stuffed cabbage, why?