Wednesday, December 3, 2008

It's in the near future

Oh X-Mas Tree, Oh X-Mas Tree - Bee Boo Bee Boo Bah Bee Bo


Only 22 more shopping days before Christmas.


Indeed. Or, if you're in the year 3000, X-Mas. Saying "Christmas" is using an archaic pronunciation akin to saying "Ask" instead of "Aks."


Futurama reference...nice.


Todays Sametime Status is a Futurama reference in itself. It consists of the lyrics to Bender's tree-decorating song...which I was unable to find online anywhere to share with you. This is unfortunate, because I find it endlessly amusing.

The reason for bringing up X-Mas today is because last night, I put up my brand new X-Mas tree. It was really quite exciting, and a little dizzying while walking in circles around the thing to string up 700 lights.

What's important to note is that it's a fake tree. There's no stigma attached to fake trees anymore, since they're more environmentally conscious or something. Fake trees are measured by the number of "Tips" they have, and the more tips on the tree, the less it looks like a fake tree...a very simple mathematical relationship. What they don't tell you is when they pack the tree (and probably every year thereafter when you pack it back into the box), all of the tips fold up together and you have to spend time spreading them out in assorted directions to fill up any gaps. This is important to note because in a very similar mathematical relationship, the more tips your tree has, the longer it takes to go through this "fluffing" process. Combine that with fake pine needles poking you in the knuckles, and you come up with a brand new theorem. The more tips your fake X-Mas tree has, the more you feel like leaving it up all year and re-decorating it for the seasons rather than take it down and go through this nonsense next year.

Here's the Futurama gang singing a happy X-Mas song from "Bender's Big Score":

2 comments:

Jeremy said...

Dilbert's Ultimate House (DUH) featured a Christmas tree on wheels that stayed decorated all year, but rolled into a closet for easy storage.

Willie Y said...

My mother and father, when they moved to Fla., would keep their decorated X-mas tree in the closet and wheel it out for the holidays.

And as environmentally shameful as it may be, there is nothing like a real tree for Christmas. With the falling needles and the watering and best of all is that it could go up in flames like a roman candle at any time.