The Toaster shot at me!
It was bound to happen sooner or later. I'm just surprised the Toaster did it first.
You all remember The Famed Toaster of Hades, right? Well, it struck again yesterday in a vicious and unwarranted attack on me. Apparently sick of being the brunt of blag comments about evil toasters, though not necessarily all things Evil, the Toaster declared war yesterday, firing off the first of what is sure to be many volleys in a long and bloody feud.
You should fight back with a butter knife...Darwin says that's an effective attack.
You may or may not know that I'm fond of "Everything" Bagels that have seeds and onions and salts and other junk on top. Well, yesterday, I put my bagel in The Toaster in a seemingly normal fashion...and as my bagel descended into the glowing bowels, one of the sesame seeds exploded and fired out at me at great speed. The thing almost stuck to my shirt!
The horror. Another foot and a half up and you might have had something stuck in your eye for a couple seconds.
Exactly! This brazen act can not stand without retribution! I think tomorrow I'm going to break one of the rules just to spite The Toaster. I'm going to toast a buttered bagel!! HAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!!!!! Victory will be mine!!!!!
3 comments:
Better yet, buttered toast followed by a 20 lb. sledgehammer.
They should offer up a full face shield for using that thing, similar to what the electricians here have to wear when they flip on or off a circuit breaker (no, I'm not kidding).
AHAHAHHAA!
THOUGH YOU ARE A WORTHY ADVERSARY
YOU WILL NOT WIN THIS WAR
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