Strangely Important

Dear Coke. Your new bottles are much more stylish, but they no longer fit in my fridge.


Get a bigger fridge.


I fear with the corporate attitude towards things that aren't money (ie: People), that would be a faster solution than having Coke change back to normally-shaped two-liter bottles.


You could also buy cans. They tend to be smaller.


This is true, but it's become financially unviable. The cost of a 12-pack of Coke cans has nearly doubled in the last 2 years, to the point where I simply don't buy them unless they're on sale. Strangely enough, the cost of a 2-liter bottle hasn't changed all that much lately, and they're always on sale. Because of this, I've tended to get those instead. Now, Coke has gone and thrown an additional monkey wrench in the works.


Poor premise, worst hook ever...this rant is lousy. Please continue.


Coke has reinvented the two-liter bottle. It's now more shapely and resembles one of their old-fashioned glass bottles. It's very nice to look at, and stands out well in the store from the wall of other available 2-liters. It's also slightly easier to grip, for those of you who don't just grab it by the cap. The unfortunate by-product of this redesign is that the bottle is a full 2 inches taller by a measurement I made by putting my fingers in front of my face and going "ehhhhhhhhhh...THAT much!"

The important thing to know is that the bottle is now too tall to fit in my refrigerator. I have to lay it flat, at which point, it takes up more valuable shelf space. Something needs to be done!

Tomorrow's is going to be pretty okay, too

Today’s Sametime Status is to remind you that monday’s Sametime Status was really good.


Really? I thought monday's was crap.


As a general rule, you think all the Sametime Statuses are crap.


I suppose that's true enough. Maybe you should try writing better stuff.


Today's Sametime Status is brought to you by the US Federal Government. Yes, the same government that's debating having a meeting with Toyota to yell at them or something. Last week, I got a letter in the mail from the government telling me that soon, they'd be sending me a Census form. Apparently, when the Census form got to me, there is no possible way that I would know what it was or what to do with it unless they sent me a letter in advance. It was truly something out of a Lewis Black routine. (Not surprisingly, viewer discretion is advised as the previous link may contain some foul language). It was in fact a piece of mail telling me that I'd be getting a piece of mail. It also said that I should fill out the form and mail it back right away.

So on monday, I get my census form in the mail. It's very exciting. Really. I would have filled it out in great haste and mailed it right back to the government, except for the fact that the government is really slow about everything, and I believe in fair play. So I plan on holding off on it for a couple days or so. I have yet to decide.

Anyway...in yesterday's mail, (that's Tuesday for those keeping score) I get a postcard in the mail telling me that I just received my Census form, and that I should fill it out and mail it back right away. That's right, folks...I got a piece of mail telling me that I got a piece of mail. All within days of getting a piece of mail telling me that I'd be getting a piece of mail.

This is somebody's job. I'm paying for this person to be employed...deciding that a mere census form is completely insufficient. I need 2 pieces of mail telling me about a third piece of mail. Some idiot sat in a room and actually designed the letter and the postcard...probably held a meeting with other idiots to decide what they should say and what government logo should be on them. All of these people need to be fired. They are a waste of my money.

Or Begonias...I haven't decided

I may plant some tulips


Uhm...good for you?


Well...this was apparently the "quote of the night" sitting around at dinner last night. I was explaining my recent landscaping project and how it may include planting some flowers or a shrub or something. I'm told it was funny that I thought of planting Tulips. I don't see what's wrong with that!

Even worse than you might think

I need my snakes!


Ladies and Gentlemen...if you'll please check around your computing area, Jeremy has apparently misplaced his pet snakes. Fortunately, only one of them is poisonous...and only mildly so, anyway.


Yeah, no...don't have any pet snakes. Today's Sametime Status is brought to you courtesy of the insanely bad motion picture "Snakes on a Train."


Snakes on a Plane?


Nope...not a typo. Apparently, somebody wanted to capitalize on the "Snakes on a Plane" hype and made something of a tie-in film. When I first saw the DVD, I had assumed it would be a spoof or something...such was not the case.


So you actually paid money for this?


Nope...I jacked the DVD from a loyal reader's house.


You do that a lot.


And I'm never not sorry that I do. Anyway...the line from today's Sametime Status comes in because the woman who is responsible for the snakes is running around trying to collect them so she can eat them and turn into a giant snake herself that proceeds to devour the entire train and disappear into an Oz-like flaming vortex of nothingness...I'm actually not making this up. Oh by the way...that line was a spoiler, so don't read it if you intend to watch the film.

By the way, that last line was ironic, because nobody should ever intend to watch the film. Ever.

Same to you, buddy!

Go n-ithe an cat thú is go n-ithe an diabhal an cat


Misplaced your keyboard again?


Today's Sametime Status is a celebration of the world's seemingly collective Irish heritage today.


Happy St. Patrick's Day to you too...even though you're not Irish.


The message is a strangely common Gaelic phrase meaning "May the cat eat you and the devil eat the cat."


A lovely and friendly sentiment for the day. Thank you for that.

I'm already Maddened

Pick Jeremy’s 12-5 Upset! New Mexico State over Michigan State, UTEP (El Paso) over Butler, Cornell over Temple, or Utah State over Texas A+M?


Wow...a sporting post that doesn't have anything to do with hockey? Shocking.


In all fairness, it is March Madness time. Due to peer pressure, I'm forced to come up with one of those silly bracket things around this time of year so I can enter pools to win bragging rights or something. This would be remarkably easier if I knew stuff about college basketball. My college basketball knowledge is sparse at best(I actually had to ask somebody what UTEP stood for). I know precisely 3 things...which the astute of you will realize is one more than last year. Here goes:

• A 16 Seed has NEVER beaten a 1 Seed in the current 64-team format.
  
• A 12 Seed ALWAYS beats a 5 Seed.
  
• This guy Sergio is going to be at the party on Friday and I'm totally going to post up on that chump.

Too bad you don't know what "Post Up" means.


Not important. It's some form of smack talk, so I'm going with it. I'm also going with SCIENCE! Here's a graph of first round winning percentage by Seed, based on actual data I found on the Internetz somewhere:

Aside from the 8/9 matchup, which is basically a coin toss, the winning percentage by seed follows a pretty solid line...with the exception of the 5 seed. The 5 seed is cursed, for whatever reason, and I'm going to take advantage of that. Here's what we're going to do:

Since you all comprise The Most Intelligent Readership In The World, I'm enlisting your help to decide on my 5-12 upset. Simply respond in the form of an IM, Email, or Blag Comment as to which 12 seed is going to take down the #5 team, and the team with the most votes moves on in my actual bracket. If I win any bragging rights or other form of prize, you get 0% of it. It's that simple!

You need to understand physics

Helpful Volleyball Tip #92: Before spiking a ball to the ground in frustration, move your face away from the direction of the rebound.


Oh, please tell me you did this.


Sorry...can't do that. I was an innocent bystander who just happened to have a front-row seat for this lesson-well-learned. Another purely hypothetical player (For Blag purposes, let's call her "Cristin") attempted to throw a ball to the ground in frustration. This is all well and good...not to mention not entirely uncommon. However, "Cristin" misjudged the angle of her throw, causing the ball to bounce back forcefully and hit her in the face.

Now, some people might be concerned for her well-being, but since we're talking about a squishy air-filled volleyball and not a rock or anything, everyone in the gym who bore witness to this purely hypothetical event busted out laughing at "Cristin"'s misfortune. A whimsical time was had by all.