The consequences are dire

Helpful Volleyball Tip #83: A "Back 3" set is designed to go to the Weak-Side hitter, not the Middle Blocker.


Usually, you only use 83 when making up statistics.


Well, 57 didn't seem appropriate here, so I just went with it.


So tell me about this Back 3


Well, when playing organized volleyball, the attackers are positioned across the front row. The player farthest to the left (when facing the net) it called the "Outside Hitter", the player on the right is the "Weak Side" or "Opposite", and the player in the middle is called the "Middle Blocker." The setter generally positions himself between the Middle Blocker and the Opposite, facing the Middle Blocker, and has a variety of options at his disposal. He can set the Middle directly in front of him, set higher and farther to the Outside Hitter, or he can set slightly behind him to the Opposite.

Sets come in various heights, and there really is no universal naming convention, so we tend to keep things simple. A "One" is a very low, quick set to the Middle, a "Two" is a moderately low set that can either be played by the Middle, or the Outside, depending on the play that is called. A "Three" is a medium-high set to one of the Outer Positions (Outside or Opposite, depending on direction), and a "Four" is a high set to the Outside.


Seems like a remarkably simple system with only four numbers. How can somebody screw this up? Must be a real chump.


Well, what happens on occasion is an overzealous Middle Blocker will decide that everything is being set to them regardless of height or location. In this circumstance, a Back-3 (A Three to the Opposite) is mistaken for a Two and the Middle will go out of his way to try to play it. Only problem is that the Opposite is right there already playing the ball and the resulting collision can be quite painful, I would imagine. I guess it could result in a bruised eye for one player and a sore elbow for the other. Either way, we end up losing the point. So...kids...play your positions.


Were you the bruised eye or sore elbow?


Actually neither...I was the setter...I only got a front-row seat for all the fun.

Simple Mathematics

Attention City of New York: One escalator at a time, please.


I know, I know...it's the first in a series of messages about parapsychological...oh wait. It's actually a new message today. About friggin' time.


I'm sure I don't know what you're talking about.


Thought as much. So what's the deal with the escalators.


Well, the economy is a little rough right now, so the city of New York seems to have cut down on the number of teams they have working on escalators in Penn Station. It's a very busy train station I was in recently, and it contains a fairly large number of escalators, as you might imagine.

Most of these escalators are broken.

Most have signs saying temporarily out of service (Mitch Hedberg would prefer they say "Escalator Temporarily Stairs" but that's beside the point) or have some vague mention of an upgrade or renovation that's in progress. Only problem here is that I saw precisely one team of people actually working on a broken escalator. I know you don't want to pay these guys to sit around not fixing an escalator, but in this particular case, the backlog was tremendous. These poor guys will be fixing escalators until rapture, but probably not make any progress. What is the MTBF for escalators anyway? I imagine it being on the order of weeks, not hours.

What did this mean?

Déjà vu: The experience of feeling sure that one has experienced a new situation previously.


Yeah, yeah...who didn't see this one coming?


It's interesting that you bring up precognition, since I was actually thinking of bringing it up in a later Sametime Status. You see, today's Sametime Status is the first in a series of messages designed to edutain people about various parapsychological conditions.


Really Jeremy? That was interesting on monday...maybe cute on Tuesday, but now it's just kinda getting ridiculous.


I'm not sure what you're talking about..Tuesday's Sametime Status was the latest in the saga of the Famed Toaster of Hades. I didn't start the Parapsychology series until today.


So when is this nonsense going to end?


Wow...a rhetorical question, too! You're really helping the Blag today. Thanks, LIR.

What did this mean?

Déjà vu: The experience of feeling sure that one has experienced a new situation previously.


Really?


It's true! Today's Sametime Status is the first in a series of messages designed to edutain people about various parapsychological conditions. I have a very mild passing interest in various psychological and parapsychological phenomena, including my own irrational fear of applesauce, so I thought I'd spend some time on the Blag here shining a little light on them. It'll be a thing!


We're already getting hate mail over this.


How is that even possible? This is the first one!

What did this mean?

Déjà vu: The experience of feeling sure that one has experienced a new situation previously.


Yeah...great. Can we move on now?


I'm not sure what you're talking about. Today's Sametime Status is the first in a series of messages designed to edutain people about various parapsychological conditions. I'd hoped to make it a recurring thing on the blag here.


It's not as if it's difficult to scroll down and see yesterday's message, you know. The Internetz do have that technology.


Yesterday's message was about Bird Flu or something...I really can't be bothered to look it up.

What did this mean?

Déjà vu: The experience of feeling sure that one has experienced a new situation previously.


Uhm....wait a second...


Yes...today's Sametime Status is the first in a series of messages designed to edutain people about various parapsychological conditions. It's gonna be a thing!


Are you messing with me?


Not at all...I consider myself an expert on the subject having taken a freshamn-level psychology course at the technical school where I went to college. I also used to run an online ESP ability test. It was fun!


Not exactly what I meant...


So enjoy today's Sametime Status, everybody!

What did this mean?

Déjà vu: The experience of feeling sure that one has experienced a new situation previously.


Would this have anything to do with you losing the finals of a volleyball tournament for the fourth time this season?


No, but thanks for bringing that up.


It's what I do.


Today's Sametime Status is something more along the lines of a series of messages designed to edutain people about various parapsychological conditions...or something.


Maybe some of the loyal readers can peer into the future and realize when this is coming up so they can avoid this crap.


Well...many of my loyal readers do try to see messages in the future. Usually they say something mildly amusing or do something mildly idiotic and say "Oh...I know what tomorrow's Sametime Status is going to be." 87% of the time, they're wrong...about the same success rate as any other ESP ability test and every other time I have to quote a statistic on this Blag, which is a remarkable coincidence.