Always The Last Place You Look

I spent more time looking for fuel for my torch than I plan to spend using my torch 

Jeremy is trying very hard to become a member of the Fantastic Four.  He's doing a pretty miserable job so far.

So, recently, it has become important for me to roast marshmallows.  It would take more time than it's worth to explain why it is I need to roast marshmallows, but suffice to say, it is a remarkably dumb, but fun, reason.  

This is all well and good until you realize that it is late January, and nobody really wants to sit outside to roast marshmallows, especially for a remarkably dumb reason.  A new solution is required!  

I determined through a careful study in which I said, "I could probably do it that way," that an effective and reasonably safe method for indoor marshmallow roasting would be to use a creme brulee torch.  All you have to do is impale the marshmallows on some bamboo skewers and pass the torch over the marshmallows until golden perfection.  I'm going to screw this up once or twice, but it's okay...I don't need that many marshmallows, and I have a whole bag.  Also, creme brulee torches are ostensibly fun to play with.  

So, off I go to a local store which sells items for your bedroom, your bathroom, and presumably other rooms of your house and procured myself a creme brulee torch.  Fortunately, I noticed on the box a note that said the torch runs on aerosol butane, which is not included.  Through the store I go searching for a compatible can of torch fuel.  

Nope.

Off I go to another general store which, for strictly Blag purposes, let's call "Bull's Eye."  They have candles and lighters and camping fuel...it stands to reason that they should carry butane cans.  

Nope.  

Not far from "Bull's Eye," there is a store which in theory sells holiday-themed foliage(though I've never once seen one there...true story).  They have a section of kitchen stuff in the back and a whole thing of candles and candle holders and lighters.  They also had the magnetic picture frame that I was looking for a month and a half ago that they didn't have...jerks.  Anyway....it stands to reason that they might also carry butane cans.  

Nope.  

I spent probably the better part of two hours going to and through four different stores (You'll be pleased to know that I did eventually find the stuff at a store which, for strictly Blag purposes, we'll call "High's Home Improvement Store") searching for a stupid can of fuel for a stupid creme brulee torch that I'm going to use for a total of 5 stupid minutes to roast a handful of stupid marshmallows.  

I guess I'll have to learn how to make creme brulee.