If You Have One, I Hate You

Trying to think of what could possibly be in my shopping history to make that website think I want to buy a selfie stick

Yeah, right.  You had that thing added to your wish list the instant you were made aware of it. 

If you're like me...

You kick yourself every morning...

...you've done some online shopping.  One of the main sites is one which, for strictly Blag purposes, we'll call Nile.com.  It's pretty much a one-stop online shopping repository for absolutely anything you may ever need, and about 5 billion other things you couldn't possibly ever need.  The steering wheel desk and banana slicer come to mind immediately, but your mileage may vary.  

In order to maximize the amount of money you spend there optimize your online shopping experience, Nile.com keeps careful track of not only the things you buy from the site, but also things you've looked at on the site, as well as things you searched for elsewhere on the internets.  It's really quite intrusive.  But, it provides you with a nice list of things you might be interested in buying based on your browsing preferences.  Shop for a new computer monitor, and they tell you that you might be interested in a new video card for your computer.  You know...things along that line.  

It will also ask if you want to buy the same thing over and over.  No thanks, Nile.com.  I already have an ice ball maker shaped like the Death Star...I don't need another one.  (The aforementioned example may or may not be true...that's not important right now.)  

So what in the name of all things good and plenty prompted this website to think that I needed a selfie stick?  

I don't know if you know what a selfie stick is or not.  It's ridiculous.  So, selfies are those ridiculous pictures you take of your self standing in front of something instead of taking a picture of the thing that you actually want to take a picture of.  You do so by holding your phone out at arm's length with the lens facing backwards, looking stupid and probably making duck face in the process.  Well, this process is just too cumbersome for some people, so it became necessary to invent a stick that holds your phone out at arm's length with the lens facing backwards, looking even stupider than before and probably still making duck face in the process.  View This Nonsense In Action Here.

You'll be pleased to know that in my lifetime, I have taken precisely zero selfies, and only participated in a handful of them.  I actually reprimanded one person for attempting to make duck face in our selfie.  I have reasonably long arms, and would have no need for a selfie stick should the need to take a selfie arise.  For the record, the need to take a selfie will probably never arise, so don't hold your breath.  

Yet, recently, when I log onto Nile.com, there's my recommendation.  "Just for you, Jeremy...you might be interested in a selfie stick!  Only $24.99!"  

No.