It didn't even come with an airbag

Your tax money at work: You just wasted $53.57 on Chrysler. Congratulations!


Presenting: a rare moment of political punditry from Jeremy.


So a little while back, we as taxpayers were told that we needed to bail out billionaire bankers who did stupid things and lost money by giving them more of our money.

This prompted everyone else under the sun to ask, "so what similar scams can I run to get taxpayer money?" and some of them succeeded. One group of people who had that thought were the people who run General Motors and Chrysler, two of the "Big Three" automakers in the US. They showed remarkable business savvy by flying corporate jets to Washington to beg for taxpayer money because they couldn't run their business properly and were losing money. They needed our money to avoid bankruptcy. Keep that in mind...it becomes important later.

Like the kind-hearted souls we all are, instead of offering them the business end of our boots, we offered them lots and lots of money. Since the money was officially termed a "Loan" the good folks at Chrysler and GM generously offered to pay us back, and like the kind-hearted morons that we are, we believed them, and even rooted for them to succeed. Of course, none of us ran out and immediately bought a new car.

The end result, as we all know, is that not long ago, Chrysler filed for bankruptcy. Even with 7.5 Billion dollars of YOUR money, they still couldn't make their company work and have officially failed. Here's the best part...according to the terms of their bankruptcy, it was announced this week that Chrysler Won't be Paying Back the Government Loans. That's right, kids. Those 7.5 billion dollars that YOU spent on Chrysler is now down the toilet. It's gone.

Highly Reliable Sources tell me that there are roughly 140 Million taxpayers in the US today. That 7.5 Billion Dollars we've now wasted on Chrysler amounts to $53.57 each. Hope you didn't have anything you needed THAT for.