"I hear a mountain lion! I gotta get back to my house and you better get to your car!" – Birdemic: Shock and Terror
For the record, Jeremy is NOT MAKING THIS MOVIE UP. Nor is he making up the fact that There's Going To Be A Sequel. Hollywood should be ashamed of itself.
Just because a movie is bad doesn't make it bad.
Yeah, that made no sense. Start over.
Some people love to watch truly horrible movies for the sheer entertainment value. Such films, like "Plan 9 From Outer Space", or "Manos: The Hands Of Fate" or anything starring Nicolas Cage are referred to as "Cult Classics" because of the relatively small band of typically rabid fans of that particular genre. Personally, I love ridiculously bad movies (though not anything with Nicolas Cage), and have wasted many hours watching pure cinematic drivel.
As an aside, because of everything mentioned above, I was alerted to the Trailer For Nicolas Cage's New Movie which features "acting" and "dialog" which can't possibly be described using words with a positive connotation. How does this slop end up in theaters?
Anyway...the more important topic here is that this conversation prompted me to review my DVD queue for the video rental company we'll refer to in the Blag as "Internet Flickershows." I was pleased to discover that a DVD release date was now available for one of the "B" movies I put in my Queue. That being "Birdemic: Shock and Terror." Do yourself a favor and Watch The Trailer For This Film Too. Be careful, though...you'll be laughing so hard, you may injure something. Today's Sametime Status comes from the "Memorable Quotes" section of this movie. I can't want to see it!
Monday, January 31, 2011
Friday, January 28, 2011
It could be tragic
Tonight's Agenda: Make Chili and Clean the bathroom. Probably in that order
And just like that, another edition of Jeremy Is In The Office goes right down the pan.
Well, it's not all bad. My Sametime Status today is also a piece of social commentary about people who use social media to update everybody who will listen (willingly or not) to the most mundane trivialities of their lives.
I don't care what you're making for dinner, or if you're just sitting around waiting for your honey to come home. Stop posting this crap! Also, unsubscribe to whatever stupid thing is posting how sexy your name is every frigging day. Not only is it complete and utter nonsense, but it changes every time! It can't even get its own logic right.
Social networking sucks sometimes.
You're also making a joke about how you could potentially be making chili with bathroom-contaminated hands. That's pretty funny for whoever has to eat your chili.
Oh yeah...I suppose that was the original point.
And just like that, another edition of Jeremy Is In The Office goes right down the pan.
Well, it's not all bad. My Sametime Status today is also a piece of social commentary about people who use social media to update everybody who will listen (willingly or not) to the most mundane trivialities of their lives.
I don't care what you're making for dinner, or if you're just sitting around waiting for your honey to come home. Stop posting this crap! Also, unsubscribe to whatever stupid thing is posting how sexy your name is every frigging day. Not only is it complete and utter nonsense, but it changes every time! It can't even get its own logic right.
Social networking sucks sometimes.
You're also making a joke about how you could potentially be making chili with bathroom-contaminated hands. That's pretty funny for whoever has to eat your chili.
Oh yeah...I suppose that was the original point.
Thursday, January 27, 2011
He is Wayne!
Happy Belated Birthday, Wayne!
It's probably okay. I doubt he's reading.
I still feel bad that I missed his birthday...it was an important one.
Anyway...for those who are not aware, yesterday was Wayne "The Great One" Gretzky's 50th birthday.
Evil Jeremy will still ask who Wayne Gretzky is, so I'll add that Wayne basically owns the record book when it comes to the NHL scoring leaders. Having amassed a seemingly insurmountable 2857 points in his NHL career, if he had never scored a single goal, he would still be the NHL's all-time leading scorer, with 76 more points than Mark Messier's 1887. Oh...and he did it in 5 fewer seasons than Messier played too. That's ridiculous.
To celebrate his 50th birthday (one day late), HERE'S A VIDEO of Gretzky making the hockey world look silly...over and over. Enjoy!
It's probably okay. I doubt he's reading.
I still feel bad that I missed his birthday...it was an important one.
Anyway...for those who are not aware, yesterday was Wayne "The Great One" Gretzky's 50th birthday.
Evil Jeremy will still ask who Wayne Gretzky is, so I'll add that Wayne basically owns the record book when it comes to the NHL scoring leaders. Having amassed a seemingly insurmountable 2857 points in his NHL career, if he had never scored a single goal, he would still be the NHL's all-time leading scorer, with 76 more points than Mark Messier's 1887. Oh...and he did it in 5 fewer seasons than Messier played too. That's ridiculous.
To celebrate his 50th birthday (one day late), HERE'S A VIDEO of Gretzky making the hockey world look silly...over and over. Enjoy!
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
I'm not alone
What do we have to bribe Italy with to let us keep the Jersey Shore cast over there permanently? I'll chip in.
So for those who haven't heard or cared, Season 4 of MTV's "Jersey Shore" is being filmed in Italy...according to CNN, "the birthplace of the culture they love and live by." No word on a pending lawsuit by the government of Italy against CNN for that comment.
I've given this matter more attention than it deserves already. Have a nice day.
So for those who haven't heard or cared, Season 4 of MTV's "Jersey Shore" is being filmed in Italy...according to CNN, "the birthplace of the culture they love and live by." No word on a pending lawsuit by the government of Italy against CNN for that comment.
I've given this matter more attention than it deserves already. Have a nice day.
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Where's the nerds table?
Wondering who I should sit next to at the State of the Union Address...
Wait a second. Didn't you have your rare moment of political punditry yesterday? This looks like a disturbing trend in Blag content.
I know, I know...I did politics yesterday, but today's topic was too important to not include in a Sametime Status. Also, since it's time-sensitive, I couldn't hold off on running it.
So, for those who are not aware, tonight is the President's annual State of the Union Address. (I saved you all the effort, HERE ARE THE RULES TO THIS YEAR'S SOTU DRINKING GAME.) The SOTU address really never changes. The President says approximately 6 words before being interrupted by ravenous applause from half of the assembled congregation. The remaining half of the audience sits there with scowls on their faces, because the way politics works nowadays is that you're either with our political party, or your a horrible person intent on world domination which will ultimately lead to the destruction of everything we hold dear. Why this happens is beyond me, since neither party has even remotely managed to get it right just yet, but that's beside my point. The simple fact that our elected leaders can be so petty about being so polarized is really quite remarkable...and not in a good way.
So, in an attempt to deceive the public about the childish nature of Congress, the elected members of congress have decided to not sit by political party this year (Republicans on the right, Democrats on the left, and Independents standing in the corner, facing the wall wearing paper cone hats), but to Bring A Date From The Opposite Party to sit with. I really wish I was making this up.
As much as turning this into a news story is the lamest bit of political journalism since the breaking story that was the type of beer served at the Infamous Beer Summit of 2009, it really is somewhat newsworthy, if only for sheer irony. These are the same people who haven't managed to work together on anything since the mesozoic era, relying exclusively on majority rule to pass policy, and now we're supposed to believe that by sitting mixed together, they're going to agree on whether or not something in the President's speech was good? I call bunk! Mere minutes after the President is done speaking, there will be the Response speech by a member of the other party, which will say that everything the President just said was a lie, that the opposition's party is the way to go, and that Billy was smoking behind the dumpster during recess.
Mere days after the speech, all of this facade of bipartisanship will once again vanish with nary a trace. In the case of 2010, the Republicans in the House will vote to on a bill to repeal the health care bill (which, by the way, has precisely zero percent chance of passing into law...so what is this besides a symbolic waste of their time and my money?) simply because it was initially passed by the other party, and thus business will return to usual. So what is it about sitting next to somebody that is supposed to make be truly believe that for once, the elected leaders have my best interests in mind, rather than their own? It's absolutely nothing more than a symbolic attempt at distraction from the fact that they have no prayer of working together to make life better for us all. The fact that they can't work together is pathetic and embarrassing, but that they think they can hide that fact from everyone though a special one-time only seating arrangement is patronizing and insulting.
Wait a second. Didn't you have your rare moment of political punditry yesterday? This looks like a disturbing trend in Blag content.
I know, I know...I did politics yesterday, but today's topic was too important to not include in a Sametime Status. Also, since it's time-sensitive, I couldn't hold off on running it.
So, for those who are not aware, tonight is the President's annual State of the Union Address. (I saved you all the effort, HERE ARE THE RULES TO THIS YEAR'S SOTU DRINKING GAME.) The SOTU address really never changes. The President says approximately 6 words before being interrupted by ravenous applause from half of the assembled congregation. The remaining half of the audience sits there with scowls on their faces, because the way politics works nowadays is that you're either with our political party, or your a horrible person intent on world domination which will ultimately lead to the destruction of everything we hold dear. Why this happens is beyond me, since neither party has even remotely managed to get it right just yet, but that's beside my point. The simple fact that our elected leaders can be so petty about being so polarized is really quite remarkable...and not in a good way.
So, in an attempt to deceive the public about the childish nature of Congress, the elected members of congress have decided to not sit by political party this year (Republicans on the right, Democrats on the left, and Independents standing in the corner, facing the wall wearing paper cone hats), but to Bring A Date From The Opposite Party to sit with. I really wish I was making this up.
As much as turning this into a news story is the lamest bit of political journalism since the breaking story that was the type of beer served at the Infamous Beer Summit of 2009, it really is somewhat newsworthy, if only for sheer irony. These are the same people who haven't managed to work together on anything since the mesozoic era, relying exclusively on majority rule to pass policy, and now we're supposed to believe that by sitting mixed together, they're going to agree on whether or not something in the President's speech was good? I call bunk! Mere minutes after the President is done speaking, there will be the Response speech by a member of the other party, which will say that everything the President just said was a lie, that the opposition's party is the way to go, and that Billy was smoking behind the dumpster during recess.
Mere days after the speech, all of this facade of bipartisanship will once again vanish with nary a trace. In the case of 2010, the Republicans in the House will vote to on a bill to repeal the health care bill (which, by the way, has precisely zero percent chance of passing into law...so what is this besides a symbolic waste of their time and my money?) simply because it was initially passed by the other party, and thus business will return to usual. So what is it about sitting next to somebody that is supposed to make be truly believe that for once, the elected leaders have my best interests in mind, rather than their own? It's absolutely nothing more than a symbolic attempt at distraction from the fact that they have no prayer of working together to make life better for us all. The fact that they can't work together is pathetic and embarrassing, but that they think they can hide that fact from everyone though a special one-time only seating arrangement is patronizing and insulting.
Monday, January 24, 2011
Where's a drum set when you need one?
It's so cold, Sarah Palin thinks she can see Russia from my back yard
Bah dum, ching! Jeremy's here all week. Tip your waitress!
Thank you, thank you. This is my moment of dry political punditry for the year while also reminding everyone that the northeast is frickin' cold today. That's a technical term, by the way. In case you're not aware, the temperature at home this morning was a balmy -12F (-24.5C). That is officially absurd, so as long as we're making absurd, misguided, weather related political jokes, Al Gore can bite me.
Before we get letters, please understand that Jeremy does in fact understand that Global Climate Change doesn't mean universally warmer temperatures, and that Sarah Palin never actually said she can see Russia from her back yard in Alaska.
Really? You're going to take all my fun?
Somebody had to...may as well be your alter ego.
Bah dum, ching! Jeremy's here all week. Tip your waitress!
Thank you, thank you. This is my moment of dry political punditry for the year while also reminding everyone that the northeast is frickin' cold today. That's a technical term, by the way. In case you're not aware, the temperature at home this morning was a balmy -12F (-24.5C). That is officially absurd, so as long as we're making absurd, misguided, weather related political jokes, Al Gore can bite me.
Before we get letters, please understand that Jeremy does in fact understand that Global Climate Change doesn't mean universally warmer temperatures, and that Sarah Palin never actually said she can see Russia from her back yard in Alaska.
Really? You're going to take all my fun?
Somebody had to...may as well be your alter ego.
Thursday, January 20, 2011
There was no Blag back then
Today’s date would have been interesting in Europe 10 years ago: 20/01/2001. It only happens once every 973,000 years!
That's so far beyond a stretch, it's kinda funny.
That's the idea. There was one of these stupid things not long ago where somebody pointed out that the date was a palindrome or something and it won't happen again for another 10,00 years or so. These are nonsense.
Depending on how you write the date, what information you include, and what you find interesting, you can come up with some silly pattern that won't happen for another 50,000 years pretty easily. Take today's for example. It only works if you use the more sensible European method of writing the date, in that the day comes first. That way, you're going in increasing order of time. Days are shorter than months, which are shorter than years, so it's more precisely broken down by saying today is the 20th of January, 2011. As such, 10 years ago, today would have been 20/01/2001...which is 2001 written twice...unless of course you leave out the leading zero in the day, which most people do, or leave out the 20 in the year, which happens quite often too. So you could effectively write the date 20/1/2001 which isn't noteworthy, or 20/1/01 which is even less noteworthy.
My point, of course, is that you can find a pattern in numbers just about anywhere if you look hard enough...and the fact that the very specific one you found won't happen for another 3200 years is worthless, since some other goofy pattern will show up in a couple days.
That's so far beyond a stretch, it's kinda funny.
That's the idea. There was one of these stupid things not long ago where somebody pointed out that the date was a palindrome or something and it won't happen again for another 10,00 years or so. These are nonsense.
Depending on how you write the date, what information you include, and what you find interesting, you can come up with some silly pattern that won't happen for another 50,000 years pretty easily. Take today's for example. It only works if you use the more sensible European method of writing the date, in that the day comes first. That way, you're going in increasing order of time. Days are shorter than months, which are shorter than years, so it's more precisely broken down by saying today is the 20th of January, 2011. As such, 10 years ago, today would have been 20/01/2001...which is 2001 written twice...unless of course you leave out the leading zero in the day, which most people do, or leave out the 20 in the year, which happens quite often too. So you could effectively write the date 20/1/2001 which isn't noteworthy, or 20/1/01 which is even less noteworthy.
My point, of course, is that you can find a pattern in numbers just about anywhere if you look hard enough...and the fact that the very specific one you found won't happen for another 3200 years is worthless, since some other goofy pattern will show up in a couple days.
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