The Toaster has Minions!
This is nothing short of terrifying. What happened?
So, you remember the Famed Toaster of Hades, right? Well, its influence has spread. Much farther and faster than anyone could have possibly anticipated. We're all in danger. In fact, if The Toaster manages to team up with Bird Flu, we're all doomed.
But seriously...
News reports came out yesterday of an evacuation of the City Hall in Portland Oregon. Was it a bomb scare? Terrorism? No...it was a disciple of the Famed Toaster of Hades torching some unsuspecting civil employee's bagel.
I guess we can take some levity out of this situation by pointing out that the Mayor's name is Sam Adams.
We can and should enjoy that fact...it's the only ray of light in this otherwise foreboding story.
Special thanks to Loyal Reader Jeff for sending us this important news item.
Friday, January 29, 2010
Thursday, January 28, 2010
PS: I hate you
Hey Mother Nature...Is this some kind of joke?
It's just a little snow. What are you all whiny about?
It seems like only a couple days ago, it was a spring-like 50 degrees outside.
That was monday. Get over it.
Then totally out of the blue, I wake up to school closings, cars off the road, a snowplow stuck in the middle of the school's playground (I'm still not entirely sure how that happened, but it must have been interesting), and at least 2 accidents slowing down traffic on my commute. It's annoying. Winter needs to stop.
Please stop, Winter. You suck.
It's just a little snow. What are you all whiny about?
It seems like only a couple days ago, it was a spring-like 50 degrees outside.
That was monday. Get over it.
Then totally out of the blue, I wake up to school closings, cars off the road, a snowplow stuck in the middle of the school's playground (I'm still not entirely sure how that happened, but it must have been interesting), and at least 2 accidents slowing down traffic on my commute. It's annoying. Winter needs to stop.
Please stop, Winter. You suck.
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
It's in your best interests
Does anyone besides me follow Bush's instructions during "Machinehead"?
Breathe in, breathe out? I certainly hope you're not alone in this.
It's not so much the actions themselves, but the timing. When I hear the song, which considering how old and not good a song it is is surprisingly often, I can't help but to breathe in time with the music. It's a little weird.
Breathe in, breathe out? I certainly hope you're not alone in this.
It's not so much the actions themselves, but the timing. When I hear the song, which considering how old and not good a song it is is surprisingly often, I can't help but to breathe in time with the music. It's a little weird.
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
You should know why
Today's Sametime Status includes the word "Unctuous"
And why is that exactly?
Never entirely sure. It just seemed like a good word to include in a Sametime Status.
Is it part of a more substantial message?
Sure isn't.
So why are we still here?
No idea. You must be bored.
And why is that exactly?
Never entirely sure. It just seemed like a good word to include in a Sametime Status.
Is it part of a more substantial message?
Sure isn't.
So why are we still here?
No idea. You must be bored.
Monday, January 25, 2010
HONK HONK!!!
Bumper Sticker Of The Day: "Honk If You Love Cheeses"
Who doesn't love cheeses?
Lactose intolerant people.
They may still love cheeses, but not be able to process them. That was a very insensitive comment, Jeremy.
Fair enough. I apologize to all cheese-loving lactose intolerant people out there.
Better. So you actually saw this bumper sticker?
Indeed I did. It was a little weird. I have this problem with bumper stickers all the time. If somebody has the back of their car wallpapered with bumper stickers, that's up to them. But if you only have one or two, you're really picking your battles. You have actively decided what message you want to send to the world about yourself. In this particular case, this guy likes cheese.
Don't get me wrong...cheese is basically awesome. I just don't feel enough about it to tell the world that the one thing they need to know about me is that I like cheese.
You like it enough to write about it on a blag.
That's not the point.
Who doesn't love cheeses?
Lactose intolerant people.
They may still love cheeses, but not be able to process them. That was a very insensitive comment, Jeremy.
Fair enough. I apologize to all cheese-loving lactose intolerant people out there.
Better. So you actually saw this bumper sticker?
Indeed I did. It was a little weird. I have this problem with bumper stickers all the time. If somebody has the back of their car wallpapered with bumper stickers, that's up to them. But if you only have one or two, you're really picking your battles. You have actively decided what message you want to send to the world about yourself. In this particular case, this guy likes cheese.
Don't get me wrong...cheese is basically awesome. I just don't feel enough about it to tell the world that the one thing they need to know about me is that I like cheese.
You like it enough to write about it on a blag.
That's not the point.
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
I neither have nor want any of these things
Jersey on a truck, with a whisper of luck...
This means roughly nothing.
Yes, I know.
So what's it doing here. We're hoping for information or entertainment on the Blag.
Strictly speaking, it's a figment of my imagination.
So am I, but I usually make sense.
More specifically, today's Sametime Status is a portion of the lyrics to the country music song I was writing in a dream I had recently.
I don't often remember my dreams, but when I do, I decide to share them with you...especially if they're as insipid as this. I've often thought about becoming a country music superstar. It's not all that hard. All I need is a wife, dog, gun, or pickup truck, lose one of them, and lament the loss of same. Money pours in.
So I was writing this country song in my sleep, and woke up for some reason, which is the only reason I remember it. At the time (and maybe only in my sleep, because otherwise, it makes no sense at all) I remembered thinking that this line was hauntingly beautiful. In hindsight, it's crap. And nothing good has ever happened because of New Jersey. So it looks like my dreams of country music celebrity will have to wait a little while longer. Anyone selling a pickup truck? Cheap?
This means roughly nothing.
Yes, I know.
So what's it doing here. We're hoping for information or entertainment on the Blag.
Strictly speaking, it's a figment of my imagination.
So am I, but I usually make sense.
More specifically, today's Sametime Status is a portion of the lyrics to the country music song I was writing in a dream I had recently.
I don't often remember my dreams, but when I do, I decide to share them with you...especially if they're as insipid as this. I've often thought about becoming a country music superstar. It's not all that hard. All I need is a wife, dog, gun, or pickup truck, lose one of them, and lament the loss of same. Money pours in.
So I was writing this country song in my sleep, and woke up for some reason, which is the only reason I remember it. At the time (and maybe only in my sleep, because otherwise, it makes no sense at all) I remembered thinking that this line was hauntingly beautiful. In hindsight, it's crap. And nothing good has ever happened because of New Jersey. So it looks like my dreams of country music celebrity will have to wait a little while longer. Anyone selling a pickup truck? Cheap?
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Really, though...we do have time for that now
While I agree that this may not be a party or a disco, it could, in fact, be fooling around
Today's Sametime Status courtesy of The Talking Heads, and the lyrics to their song, "Life During Wartime."
Today's Sametime Status courtesy of The Talking Heads, and the lyrics to their song, "Life During Wartime."
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