Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Really, though...we do have time for that now

While I agree that this may not be a party or a disco, it could, in fact, be fooling around


Today's Sametime Status courtesy of The Talking Heads, and the lyrics to their song, "Life During Wartime."

Monday, January 18, 2010

Robert Wuhl told me so

In a bit of Revisionist History, Stuffed Cabbage was invented not by a Chef, but by a really bored Engineer


I love Revisionist Histories. You always learn something new...mostly because they're made-up nonsense.


History is always "Based On A True Story." So here's the true story behind this delicacy.


Shouldn't you have True in quotation marks up there?


Some time ago, Nautical Engineer Stanley Krawczyk was studying Cole's Law of Thermodynamics as it relates to pressure build-up in an airlock system. Krawczyk was redesigning airlocks for Polish submarines, because apparently, the original design had a leak for some reason. While doing his research, he had a sudden and unexplained hankering for cabbage. After seeing the outrageous price for cabbage stew at the university's commissary and buying an apple instead, he decided to go across the street to buy a cabbage in order to make his own stew that night.


That was a really long way to go for a joke. Most readers probably won't get either of the jokes you embedded in that paragraph.


Krawczyk sat in his office working on his new airlock design, and as engineers often do, he became bored and started playing with the head of cabbage on his desk. He was particularly intrigued by the way the leaves were all very tightly wrapped and interweaved. Due to the inexplicable urge embedded in all engineers to take stuff apart to see how it works, he began to unwrap the cabbage head leaf by leaf to examine the inner workings...which most people would know is simply more leaves...but he was curious. After 3 full hours, his former cabbage had been reduced to a giant pile of individual leaves strewn about his desk...completely unfit for stew-making. A new dinner solution was required.

After he went home, he wrapped his individual cabbage leaves around some ground meat he had laying around, (since that's what you do with vegetables to make them taste better) and baked them with some tomato sauce. With that, the famous Polish delicacy Golumpki (stuffed cabbage) was born. It has to be true...because, seriously...why the frig would anybody ever think to do this?


So what did you make for dinner last night?


Stuffed cabbage, why?

Friday, January 15, 2010

Healthy Blagging for a Healthy Life

Sametime Statuses are delicious, and good for you too!


With this knowledge, it's a little surprising that people aren't more grateful to you for providing this helpful and heathful service.


I know. People come to me on occasion and say they enjoyed the blag...but nobody ever really thanks me for it.


I was kidding. This stuff is nonsense and everyone knows it.


But it's an amusing diversion for a Friday!


Happy weekend, everybody!

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Environmentally Friendly Blagging

Today’s Sametime Status generated Zero Landfill Space


That's very environmentally conscious of you, Jeremy. What brought this on?


I don't know...I guess some of the proponents of global climate change have recently been proven to be full of crap, and the earth may not actually be warming up. That said, I want the earth to warm up, because it's frickin' cold outside. So you'd think I'd want to be environmentally unfriendly...but the same proponents who have been telling us to be more aware of our carbon footprint and that sort of nonsense were wrong before, so maybe they're wrong again, and I just can't take that chance.


My head hurts.


So today's blag is entirely Eco-friendly. Zero landfill space will be used, it was typed on a recycled keyboard, and I'm currently in the process of replacing my monitor with a low-energy CFL bulb. It doesn't have quite the resolution of an LCD monitor, but I think it's worth the sacrifice.

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

I'm really not making this one up

Happy Rubber Duckie Day, everybody!


Woohoo! Rubber Duckie Day! Everyone should have a rubber duckie.


Who doesn't?


Certainly not you....you have like 3 dozen of them.


Right you are. Anyway...it's almost 2:00 here and I just finished lunch. It's been a ridiculously busy week, but I couldn't let you guys go 2 whole days without a Blag, so here you go. Also, I wanted to give everyone a heads up that in just a couple short weeks, I'll be kicking off what is sure to be one of my favourite Theme Week Quizzes of all time. It's going to be so great, I want to start it early, but it just wouldn't make sense. You'll understand. Look for that starting in February. It's gonna be a thing!

Monday, January 11, 2010

Hey Internetz! Watch me!

I'm replacing Jay Leno at 10:00


Your opening monologue is going to be fantastic. I wrote it for you.


That's good to know. In case anybody missed it, the failed experiment that is the Jay Leno show being on at 10:00 is officially over. Rumour has it that local affiliates were more concerned about the ratings than NBC was, because it led to low ratings on their 11:00 news shows. Apparently, people are too lazy to change the channel even when they have a remote control. Amazing.

Friday, January 8, 2010

I'm a classic

Writing Statuses since before Facebook made it cool.


The corollary being that writing Sametime Statuses makes you cool?


Sure. Why not?


Whatever helps you sleep.


So Facebook came along in the last few years and totally crashed my turf. People now come up with status messages on a fairly regular basis. People can visit and indicate their approval and leave comments and such. Sounds remarkably like a blag, doesn't it? Well, mine's better...because I'm not limited to a certain number of characters like a Facebook status or a tweet or something like that. I just get yelled at by coworkers, because now, the Sametime Status shows up in the chat window, and if it's too long, it takes up the whole screen. I'm more amused by this than anything else, but apparently, some people use the IM program for work or something. Nonsense.

Anyway...far be it from me to be far behind the times (Though I still don't have my Droid), so feel free to head on over to Facebook and become a Fan of Jeremy Is In The Office!

www.facebook.com/jeremyisintheoffice


I actually wonder if anybody's going to do that....