What was I thinking?

The middle of January is a bad time to try to buy rock salt.


Of course it is...it's time to get ready for the beach!


So let's ignore the fact that the lawn is covered in snow, negating the need for a lawnmower, or that the frozen ground won't be especially receptive to planting new seeds or fertilizing. Forget that the grill is still under wraps and everyone's pool is still a solid block of ice.

Despite all of this, it seems worthy of note that the temperature tonight is supposed to be roughly -2 degrees (-19deg C), and there exists the possibility that I may need to apply salt to my driveway. This apparently is a foreign concept to at least 4 stores in the area, who have completey removed their supplies of ice melter, replacing them with grills, lawnmowers, planting and fertilizing supplies, and swimming pool chemicals. To these stores, I give a hearty "No Thanks." I know I need to buy my Christmas supplies in July, and my Fourth of July barbecue is just around the corner, but how's about leaving out one bag of rock salt for me? I could use that before somebody decides that taking a header in my driveway could be very lucrative for them.

Waste of Blag

I wondered why the hockey puck was getting bigger. Then it hit me.


Great...we're getting puns now.


Well, some loyal readers have been saying that the Sametime Statuses haven't been punny enough lately.


I think they said it wasn't Funny enough.


Huh...interesting. I heard Punny. What a crazy mix-up.

Imagination is a premium today

"As an adolescent I aspired to lasting fame, I craved factual certainty, and I thirsted for a meaningful vision of human life...so I became a scientist. This is like becoming an archbishop so you can meet girls." -M. Cartmill


Who's M Cartmill?


He's a professor of Evolutionary Anthropology at Duke. This quote of his amuses me...so you get to read it today.

In addition, you get to learn how to cook a hamburger at Wendy's, thanks to this ridiculously hilarious rap video:

Prodigal Son of Rhetorical Friday

A Comma is a Pause at the end of a Clause. A Cat has Claws at the end of its Paws.


I refuse to participate in Rhetorical Friday. I mean it this time.


Good. So anyway, yesterday's quiz returned startlingly few results, but the 3 people who correctly answered "Limbo Rock" can give yourselves a hearty pat on the back for a job well done. Quite frankly, before yesterday's quiz started, I had no idea that song was done by Chubby Checker. Looking back, it does have that closed-throated Kermit the Frog voice to it, and it is a song that explicitly tells you how to dance to it...two hallmarks of every Chubby Checker song in existence...so the writing was on the wall.

For your edutainment, here are a handful of other potential answers, and the lyrics that make them great:

• Pony Time (Now haw, ya oh baby, oh baby, pretty baby, Do it baby, oh baby, oh baby, Boogety, boogety, boogety, boogety shoo)
  
• Toot (She's got a motor scooter with a little rubber tooter)
  
• Hey Bobba Needle (Baby I ain't lyin' lyin' lyin' Can't you see that I'm tryin' tryin' tryin' Don't cha know I'm tryin' tryin' tryin')
  
• Loddy Lo (La La La Lardy. Don't know the word to any song. Hey Lardy Lardy Lo)
  
• Cu Ma La Be Stay (Everybody forms a circle. Now somebody jumps inside. Jump it hit it now. You clap your hands. You stamp your feet. You do the jerk. To the cu ma la beat.)
  

He must be very well twisted by now

Pop Quiz! Name one Chubby Checker song whose lyrics do not include the word "Twist."


No problem. Let me just bring up The Google...


No cheating, please!


You take the enjoyment out of everything.


So today's message came about not long ago while I was sitting in a fast food chin known for their Royalty among hamburger-related fast food chains, and a song was playing that sounded like Chubby Checker that appeared to not be "The Twist," "Let's Twist Again," "Slow Twistin'," "Twist It Up," or "Yo, Twist."

AS it turns out, the song was called "Dancin Party" and included the following poetic gem:

• Come on let's [fry] the potatoes too
  Watusi girl is the dance to do
  Twist and shout till we knock ourselves out

So, my hopes of hearing a "Twist"-less Chubby Checker song were dashed...until today! That's where you come in. I know of at least 2 songs that fit the above criteria...I'd just like to see if any of you know them too. Have fun!

It happens all the time

I can't be the only one who notices people who say "I love you" before hanging up on a telecon.


Ever notice how these Sametime Statuses that start with "I can't be the only one" usually turn out where you're the only one?


But this is different! In this new era of telecommuting, people are on telecons all the time. If you work exclusively from home, you often have no choice but to be on telecons. Some people are on telecons most of their natural lives and have the process down to an art and a science...but most of us will call into a meeting at most once or twice a day.

In addition to being the era of telecommuting, this is the Era of Wussification...and people get accustomed to their routines and mentally can't deviate from it. In much the same way that people have "Thanks" in their email signature so they don't have to type it each time, people have "I love you" at the end of their phone calls. Instead of an actual sentiment, it becomes a mere period at the end of the telephone sentence. Whether or not they love the person on the other end becomes irrelevant...it's simply what you say prior to hanging up. This is where the fun starts. This same person will join a telecon with people he or she merely works with, and has no feelings for. Once that person's contribution to the telecon expires, they exit the conversation the only way they know how..."I love you."

I'd like to tell you that the conference room containing the rest of the meeting participants feels a renewed sense of warmth and caring for the person who just hung up, but that's simply not the case. What follows is more of an awkward silence until somebody breaks the ice by replying "uhmm...we love you too, Bill" then chuckling and looking around the room for approval.

Of course, it could just be a little gas

Woops! I feel a little Bucky comin' on!


Happy New Year from Jeremy's Sametime Status!


Today's Sametime Status comes to you courtesy of the whimsical comic strip Get Fuzzy, about a lovable anthopomorphic cat and dog, and their owner. At some point in the fairly recent past, Bucky attempted to come up with his own catch phrase which other people would say when he came along. This was the result...and it's apparently caught on.


So any new year's resolutions?


Long ago, I made a new year's resolution to never make new year's resolutions again, and unlike 99.999% of the new year's resolutions everybody makes, I've actually stuck to it. Therefore, you can rest assured that I'll be doing pretty much the same stuff I've been doing for the last little while.


But what if people think the Sametime Statuses have been lame?


Ehh...these things happen.