I Mean...My Friend's Kitchen...Yeah

What is one supposed to do with a giant tub of coconut oil?  Asking for a friend…

You can use it for everything coconut oil is for!  

Uhmm...yeah.  

So, not long ago, I was making a dessert of some sort, and it involved a couple more non-traditional ingredients than I'm used to.  I think it was supposed to try masking the fact that it was ridiculously unhealthy by including a couple ingredients which are more common in healthy fare.  I don't remember exactly what the dessert was, but if (as I suspect) it was the peanut butter cheesecake cookies, they're not fooling anybody.  

One thing that I needed to add to this recipe somewhere along the line was a few tablespoons (maybe 1/4 cup...it's not really important) of coconut oil.  Now, I don't know if you're familiar with coconut oil or not, but there are some quirks.  First of all, calling it "oil" is misleading at best.  It has a consistency somewhere between really hard ice cream and paraffin.  It comes in a big, stupid jar which holds well more than the couple tablespoons I required, and it costs roughly the same as an equivalent volume of solid platinum.  

So, factor all of this nonsense together, and I have about 90 of a big, stupid jar of coconut oil sitting around my kitchen, and no earthly clue what to do with it.  The only use I've heard of for this stuff is beyond disgusting, and you're going to think I'm making it up.  See, what you do, is you take a big ol' spoonful of this hard, oily, waxy crap and shove it straight into your gob.  You then leave it there while it dissolves enough for you to swish it around your mouth for 5 to 10 minutes, and it "naturally" helps to whiten your teeth. 

In case you're skeptical, I'm Really Not Making This Up.  

Needless to say, I'm not going to be doing that, nor is anybody I still want to be friends with.  That said, I've never come across any other recipe that needs this stuff, and I have a whole big stupid jar of it.  All I need are some ideas about what to use it for.