Theme Week, Part Carlin

Jeremy’s Sametime Status Proudly Presents:
Joke Autopsy Week!

It’s funny because an atom which has lost an electron will have a positive ionic charge

It's Theme Week!  We're celebrating by breaking down classic comedy moments into easily digestible morsels so you can understand why they're funny.  You will never again find them funny.  

Today's joke has several variations.  One of the more common ones I've heard takes the form of a "man walks into a bar" joke.  In this joke form, the protagonist of the joke enters a fictional bar, with a stereotypical bartender tending to his new customer.  Usually, the patron has some sort of issue to which the friendly bartender offers advice or just a listening ear.  The plot is turned around usually by the patron's response in the form of a punchline.  There is at least one notable occasion where the joke form is cut short because the bartender's initial phrase is itself the joke.  

"A horse walks into a bar.  The bartender asks, 'why the long face?'"  This one's funny because horses' faces are quite long, compared to people's.  You get a bonus joke today, everybody! 

Today's original example takes a bit of science understanding in order to locate the humor.  The joke is as follows: "A sad atom walks into a bar.  The bartender asks, 'what's wrong, buddy?' and the atom replies, 'I've lost one of my electrons.'  The bartender asks, 'are you sure?'  The atom says, 'I'm positive.'"

The punchline relies on a dual-meaning of the word positive.  It can be used in an affirmative sense, where a person is entirely convinced of a statement of fact.  As in, "I'm positive that The Skeleton Joke is amazing."  In another denotation, the word positive is used to describe the electronic charge of a atom or molecule. 

See, atoms are the building blocks of all matter.  They are made up of three main types of particles (Which themselves are made up of smaller sub-atomic particles called quarks, but that's beyond the scope of these proceedings) called Protons, Electrons, and Neutrons.  Protons have a positive electrical charge, Electrons have a negative electronic charge, and Neutrons have no electrical charge.  Generally speaking, stable matter consists of atoms with an equal number of Protons and Electrons, for a net neutral state.  

An atom with either excess electrons or a shortage of Electrons (when compared with the number of Protons) is known as an Ion.  These are somewhat rare in everyday stable matter, but can be very useful for many scientific purposes.  Ions are used for Mass Spectroscopy, Dopant Implantation, and Atomic Imaging, among many other uses.  Ions are also a commonly proposed method of spaceship propulsion.  

In this specific case, when a standard atom has lost an Electron, it is said to have a net positive charge, since it now has more positively charged Protons than negatively charged Electrons.  Thus, when an atom walked into the bar with a missing Electron, it was a positively charged Ion, who (in its anthropomorphic form) was aware of its electronic state.  Thus, the Atom was both certain it was missing an Electron and positively charged...which is hilarious.