Now I Feel Bad For Her

If Minnie really had such a big heart, why was she still a mooch?

Well, if Smokey wanted to give her all that stuff, does that mean she was a bad person?  He seemed pretty willing. 

Sure, he was willing...up until the last couple verses that I didn't know about until about 5 minutes ago.  It's actually a pretty sad story.  Apparently, Minnie's mooching ways got her and Smokey thrown in jail (The whole King of Sweden thing was just a dream, but the origin of the horses, meals, a million dollars in nickels and dimes is a little ambiguous), and he just left her there.  Poor Minnie ended up in a mental health institution where she died.

Is this another one of your Revisionist History bits?

Believe it or not, this is entirely true.  This is taken directly from the lyrics.  I was as surprised as you are.  Looks like today is a learning day!