Admit it...you do it too

I'm apparently too nerdy to mow the lawn


Just add it to the list...


I guess so. Anyway, I was mowing yesterday. I have one of those walk-behind mowers that pushes itself, so I get all the fun of using a push-mower with significantly less of the work. It's the sort of thing I do. For some perfectly valid reason, I keep my mower on the lowest speed setting, though I haven't gone through the science of trying out the higher speeds under different conditions yet. At the time, it was appropriate, and I just haven't changed it. I'm going to assume it's the best speed for in-situ mulching and go with that as my official story.


Speaking of official story, people are getting bored with it. Get to the point.


The point is that yesterday, while mowing, Cab Calloway's "Minnie The Moocher" came on the mp3 player. I quickly realized that this is a great mowing song, because the beat perfectly matches my walking cadence while behind the mower.


Great stuff, Jeremy. Let's go drink.


My brain quickly descended into all the different things that can be learned from this. If I count the number of steps it takes me to make one full pass across the yard and know the length of my property, I can accurately calculate the tempo of the song. If I know the tempo, I can determine exactly how long it will take to make one line. I can calculate my mowing efficiency in the front yard versus the back yard (Since the back yard is best mowed in a triangular fashion). If I measure my stride, and know the tempo of the song, I can calculate the ratio of front to back yard. The possibilities are limitless!


My patience isn't. See you tomorrow.


If I know the length of the yard and my stride length, I can calculate the speed of the lawnmower in the lowest gear!

It must be amazing

I'm not sure why somebody would want to toast a muffin anyway


I'm sure it's delicious...but is it worth the risk?


Based on the events of yesterday, I have to say a hearty "No!"

You remember the Famed Toaster of Hades, right? Well, yesterday started off like any other day, I peacefully made my way down to the Adorably Tiny Cafeteria Thing In My Building, and as I rounded the corner, I saw a waft of smoke coming out of the entrance way. This can only mean one thing...the Toaster had claimed yet another victim. This was no ordinary Toaster Fire, my friends...this one filled the entire Cafeteria Thing with smoke...billowing out from the charred remains of some guy's muffin...still stuck helplessly within the jaws of the Toaster.

The guy was standing there with plastic tongs, trying to free the victim, and stop the carnage...but hope was lost. The only way to stop the savagery was to turn off the Toaster and wait for peace. A peace that would not come until long after I bought my iced tea and left.

This one is not so bad

The 2008 2010 Annual Ottawa Senators Playoff Collapse is now complete! Congratulations, Pittsburgh Penguins!!


Is it really a "Collapse" if they were the underdog?


I guess that's a point worth making, but the fact that the Senators choke in the playoffs every year.


Not last year. They didn't even qualify.


Is that really worth ruining a perfectly good annual Sametime Status?


Is anything worth NOT ruining your Sametime Status?


Honestly...probably not. But...the point is, I started this tradition a couple years ago, celebrating the end of the Senators' season. It's not that I have something against the Senators' team, or Ottawa in general (I've been there....it's nice)...but I found it amusing to note that while they always field a very good team, finishing with over 100 points in 5 of the last 10 seasons, leading the league one of those, they never manage to win the whole show. This year is no exception, finishing 5th in the Eastern Conference, and facing the Pittsburgh Penguins in the first round. The last time Ottawa made the playoffs was in 2008, when they finished 7th in the East and had to play...uhm....the Pittsburgh Penguins in the first round. Seems familiar...

If I had a nickel for every...

"There are 10¹¹ stars in the galaxy. That used to be a huge number. But it's only a hundred billion. It's less than the national deficit! We used to call them astronomical numbers. Now we should call them economical numbers." - Richard Feynman


Always nice to have a good nerd quote to wrap up a week.


I agree...I came across this quote browsing a message board a little while back...thought I'd share it with you all today.


Mighty nice of you, Jeremy. Thank you for this.


You're welcome. Have a good weekend, everybody!!

Curse them

Curse you Versus!!!


Versus praising them? I don't get it...who are you cursing?


So the Versus network has "exclusive" rights to televising the Stanley Cup Playoffs...when they darn well choose. This means that occasionally, games will be on other networks, and sometimes not. They decided last night to show a double-header, featuring the Bruins/Sabres game, followed by the Kings/Canucks game. Keep in mind that Versus decided not to show the Canadiens/Capitals game in the early match, so that game was available on another network. This is all well and good until the Bruins and Sabres decided to go to Double Overtime to solve things.

The timelines overlapped at that point, and the fine folks at the Versus Network decided to stay with the coverage of the Sabres/Bruins game and overlook the start of Kings/Canucks. Also well and good, since we've all learned our lesson from the Heidi Bowl. Where I get upset is during the intermission between the first and second OT's of Sabres/Bruins...when we got treated to the morons in the studio talking about hockey as an intermission show...instead of showing the perfectly good hockey that was being played in Los Angeles. Why? WHYYYY!??!?!

Jerks.

I'm more proud than I may want to admit

I think I successfully pulled off a Three-Bag Day!


This is a family Blag, Jeremy...


I'm referring to the fact that when I left home this morning, I had remembered by gym bag, my laptop bag, and my volleyball bag for pick-up after work. I actually think everything I need for all three endeavours today was included in the bags, too.


Yeah...you normally would forget something.


It's still kinda early, but I don't think there's anything missing. I'm wearing a clean set of drawers and socks, I have a belt, my laptop, my phone, my volleyball, other socks, shorts and a shirt for volleyball, two towels and my water bottle.

I'm awesome!


So speaking of forgetting stuff, you never did close out last week's Theme Week.


You're right. I must somewhat apologize...when I was putting together last week's NHL Captains Anagram Week, I had planned on celebrating the Stanley Cup Playoffs by using only captains of playoff teams. At the time, the Anaheim Ducks and captain Scott Niedermayer (Which is an anagram of Friday's "Sorta My Intercede" were in the playoff hunt. They ultimately failed to qualify for the post season, with the 8th seed in the west going to a deserving Colorado Avalanche team. Oops. My bad. Congratulations to all who got correct answers last week, and thanks for playing!

The Surgeon General Agrees

People Who Just Don't Get It; Volume 3: The person who crushes out their cigarette at the entrance to the gym.


Wow...really?


Watched it this morning. It really was a thing of beauty. Sweet, hypocritical, ironic beauty.


Oh do tell, Jeremy.


I have little tolerance for smokers. Most of them are probably decent enough people, but as with most things, a few bad seeds spoil everything for everyone else. So you get the handful of people who stand directly outside the door of any building so you have to walk through a cloud of their cancer to get inside. You get the one who decides to smoke upwind from you during a volleyball game (Yes, this has happened). You get the guy who smokes outside of your apartment building at 2:00 in the morning, his smoke gently wafting into your open bedroom window. You get the guy who throws his cigarette butt on the side of the sidewalk with the literally thousands of other butts no more than 5 feet from the little sandy collector thing the landscaping people put out for the purpose of collecting cigarette butts. The guy who chucks his used up ashy bits out the window of his car on the freeway...who empties the ashtray of his car into the parking lot...and of course whines that he's being persecuted because nobody will let him smoke inside his favourite bar anymore...et cetera...ad infinitum...ad nauseum....lots and lots of nauseum.

This is all slightly beside the point.

By now, most people know that smoking is one of the worst things you can do to your body, short of deliberately walking in front of buses. So doesn't it stand to reason that people who smoke have pretty much given up on taking care of themselves and are not interested in maintaining their health? At that point, why are you bothering to go to a gym? Just stay home and collect your emphysema. We all know that's how this story ends anyway.

Theme Week, Starting at Center

Jeremy's Sametime Status Proudly Presents: NHL Captain Anagram Week! "Sorta My Intercede"


Wow...now this one is tough...unlike yesterday's.


Well, Theme Weeks (in theory) do get harder as the week goes on, so if you can get today's...well...I'll be very proud of you or something.


So yesterday's Captain didn't fare so well in the opener.


Very true. The Phoenix Coyotes took a 1-0 series lead on the Detroit Red Wings, and Captain Nicklas Lidstom with a 3-2 victory on Wednesday.

So today's the last day of another fun and antiproductive Theme Week...so enjoy it, and we'll see you all on monday. Have a good weekend!

Theme Week, Starting at Right Wing

Jeremy's Sametime Status Proudly Presents: NHL Captain Anagram Week! "Acids Trim Knolls"


Hopefully, they're Grassy Knolls.


That would be the ideal case, I guess.


And as for yesterday's answer?


Ideally, you would have been able to translate "Run Down Bits" into Los Angeles Kings captain Dustin Brown. Good luck, everyone!

Theme Week, Starting at Left Wing

Jeremy's Sametime Status Proudly Presents: NHL Captain Anagram Week! "Run Down Bits"


Okay, everybody...now comes the time in Theme Week where things start getting a little tougher. We'll start a little on the only mildly difficult side for those of you who know Jeremy.


Hey! No giving hints!


Sorry. It wasn't much of a hint.


So anyway...yesterday's answer was still kinda easy. If you had to name 3 NHL players right off the top of your head, they would probably be Sidney Crosby (monday's answer), Ryan Miller of the Buffalo Sabres (And US Olympic hero), and Alexander Ovechkin of the Washington Capitals. See? It wasn't that hard!

Today's on the other hand...is short, but maybe not as familiar. Have fun!

Theme Week, Starting at Right Defense

Jeremy's Sametime Status Proudly Presents: NHL Captain Anagram Week! "A Cleared Vixen Honk"


Yesterday got this week's fun started on a relatively easy note. Not an especially difficult anagram, and probably the most widely known NHL player in the world right now.


Indeed. The answer to yesterday's puzzle, "Coy Derby Sins" was, of course, Sidney Crosby of the Pittsburgh Penguins.


Today's shouldn't be all that difficult either....I mean, there's an "X" in it.


Exactly...so good luck, everybody! We'll be back tomorrow with more!

Theme Week, Starting at Left Defense

Jeremy's Sametime Status Proudly Presents: NHL Captain Anagram Week! "Coy Derby Sins"


Welcome to another rousing edition of Theme Week For Fun And No Prizes! This week, we celebrate the start of the Stanley Cup Playoffs with "NHL Captain Anagram Week"! Here's what you do:


Each morning, you'll be presented with a fun little phrase. This phrase will be an anagram of the first and last name of the current Captain of an NHL team. For example, if you see "Vaccinate Ill Nerve"...


Obviously, the answer is "Vincent Lecavalier" of the Tampa Bay Lightning.


Exactly! In true Theme Week fashion, the easier ones will be toward the beginning of the week, so get your answers in early. Have fun, everybody!

It's Go Time

Let's GOOOOOOOOO Tigers!!!


Good luck, Tigers! Whoop up on those filthy Badgers!


So later on today, the RIT Tigers make their first ever appearance in the Division I Frozen Four. As much as I wish I could be in Detroit for it, things are a little hectic around here and I already have some other trips planned this year, so I won't be able to make it. Fortunately for me, one of the local establishments is sponsoring a special viewing party for alums...so I'll at least get to be there.

So, safe travels to all who will be heading to Ford Field today, and best of luck to all participants. (Especially the Tigers!)

Watch the game at 5PM (Eastern time) on ESPN2!!!!

DUUUUUUKE!!!!

Today, I join the ranks of those who hate Duke.


Finally started watching the tournament, did you?


Not as such. Here's the deal:

Since March is over, and the tournament is referred to as "March Madness" (That's probably copyrighted or something, so I'm going to get sued, but whatever) and it's now April, I figured the thing was over, and I should check on the status of my bracket in the pool. To my complete shock and amazement, I found myself in third place...which is especially intriguing because the team I picked to win the national championship lost in the second round because they're a bunch of jerks.

Anyway...since the top 3 finishers in the pool get the prizes, I was quite pleased with myself...until, to my abject horror, I realized there was one game left. Naturally, one of the people farther down in the pool was the ONLY person in the entire game who picked Duke to win the whole show...one thing led to another and because Duke won the championship, that guy took over first in the pool, and bumped me down to fourth. No prize for Jeremy. :(


Awwe...too bad. Better luck next year.


I think what I'm going to do next year is just fill out a bracket in advance based solely on the seedings and fill in the teams later. It will be almost as useful as actually reading the names.

They deserved it

If The Empire simply had better engineers, they would have put down that silly rebellion.


Well, canonically speaking, it was a long time ago....hindsight is 20/20.


While that is very true, I'm not simply referring to the whole "using magic as a strategy" gameplan they put into effect overall. I'm talking about all the stuff they built to accomplish their goals. It sucked...all of it! If they had better engineering, this sort of thing doesn't happen. Let's examine:

In "A New Hope" we have a Deathstar that can be completely destroyed by a single missile fired into an unguarded exhaust port. This is nonsense. Also, Darth Vader's Uber-Tie Fighter goes spinning out of control into the darkest reaches of space with a single laser blast. Surely, somebody could have come up with a backup guidance system in the event that a FIGHTER was shot at. If I'm not mistaken, Vader also had to take his hand off the flight controls in order to aim his blaster. That's just poor engineering, too.

Moving on to The Empire Strikes Back, the Empirical Walker things are making their way across Hoth. These things are huge, stomping out fighter planes with ease, and armoured to resist laser blasts...unless of course something trips them with a piece of string. Then they fall down, get shot once and blow the heck up. No engineer worth his or her salt would design a tank that walks on feet with a center of gravity that high. For one thing, the movement alone is very inefficient, even if you have to walk across frozen tundra, then there's the stability aspect that would be much improved by having shorter legs.

Finally, "Return of the Muppets Jedi" introduces us to an entire fleet of garbage vehicles. First of all, The Empire still hasn't learned that Tie Fighters suck, so those make a reappearance. At least somebody realized that Death Stars shouldn't have an open exhaust port, but didn't think through that they can be fully powered with nothing to defend the main reactor...so once again, a couple laser blasts, and the whole thing goes up in flames. Super Star Destroyers are massive behemoths of battle ships (granted, not compared to a Death Star, but you get the idea) with nearly unlimited firepower, and the ability to carry hundreds upon hundreds of Fighters with them. The Bridge from which the thing is driven is propped high above the armoured exterior, relying on a single shield dome to protect it. Once the shield is taken out by a single tiny rebel X-Wing, one little crashing fighter is enough to take out the bridge and send the entire monstrosity crashing into the nearest planet or Death Star. Seriously? Last but not least are the new mini-walker things the Empire breaks out to protect the shield generator on Endor. These again are armoured to withstand laser blasts...but once again are perched much higher than they need to be on skinny little legs which cause the thing to trip when stepping on a log. Oh yeah...and once the thing does fall over sideways, it explodes. If it wasn't good enough for the Ford Pinto, it shouldn't be good enough for The Empire.

In conclusion:

Tie Fighters: Suck
Death Stars: Suck
Walkers: Suck
Super Star Destroyers: Suck
Little Mini-Walker Things: Suck

The common thread here is Empire Engineering. It's pretty plain to see that they needed better design of their stuff if they had actually hoped to win the war with the Rebels...regardless of The Force.

BLEEEEEEEEEEP

I decided to go ahead and censor today’s Sametime Status.


Jerry Springer is apparently in the office today.


Nah...I had come up with something deep and poignant for today in the spirit of the holiday, but decided that it was a little to religious to be used as a Sametime Status. Too bad, thought...it was really good. You would have enjoyed it.


Rhetorical Sametime Status...nice.