I Refuse To Put The Store On Notice, Though

I’ll never again know if my sandwich has tomatoes or not.  The world is chaos  

It's always a safe bet to assume that your sandwich has tomatoes.  If it turns out there are no tomatoes, you're really not out all that much.  

My issue here lies not in the presence (or lack thereof) of tomatoes, it's with trustworthiness.  See, I like tomatoes.  I've eaten many tomatoes in my lifetime, and will certainly eat many more, on sandwiches or otherwise.  But when I'm told there are tomatoes, and then told that there are not, and I find tomatoes...I just don't know who or what to believe anymore.  Perhaps I should explain.   

So not long ago, I stopped off at a grocery store/farm market place in the Greater Jeremy Area.  I won't say the name here, since I happen to very much like this store and intend to return there frequently, so I'm going to actively avoid badmouthing them too much.  For strictly Blag Purposes, we'll call them, "Eve's Reasonablehectare Farm Market."  Anyway, I stopped in briefly to pick up a sandwich and a snack for dinner, since time was in short supply that day and I was in the neighborhood.  In the deli area, I managed to secure a small container of marinated mozzarella balls (which were amazing, BTW), and a ham wrap sandwich.  For the record, I don't want to get into YET ANOTHER debate as to whether or not wraps are sandwiches and vice versa.  I'm calling it a sandwich, so just suck up and deal. 

Anyway, later on, as I happened to look at the container in which my sandwich came, the ingredients clearly stated that the sandwich not only came with tomatoes, but on a hard roll.  Now, argue all you want about wraps being sandwiches, but the actual wrap part is clearly not the same as a hard roll.  I'm already being lied to by my sandwich.  What's also important to note here is that the ingredients list included tomatoes.  On the side of the container was a yellow sticker which proclaimed in large red letters "NO TOMATOES."  

What's going on here?  

There's a discontinuity in my sandwich labeling.  The ingredients label says tomatoes, but the sticker next to it says none.  Do stickers supersede labels?  Was there a misprint on the label or the sticker?  I'm already at odds with the label, so maybe at least I can have a little faith in the sticker?  Only one way to find out!  I bite into the sandwich, and get a big, juicy bite of tomato.  I just don't know which end is up anymore.  All I ask is for a little sanity in my sandwich, and I can't even get that.  Chaos, I tell you.  Pure chaos! 

Why Am I Not A Millionaire?

My Next Great Idea:  A hipster restaurant where chefs prepare all foods ironically in microwaves  

Hipsters love ironic things!  The restaurant can serve PBR, black coffee, and cheap bourbon, too! 

So, for those of you uninitiated to the world of hipsters, Glove And Boots has a pretty thorough introduction which will help you understand what's going on here.  

What's important to note here is the irony.  Hipsters love doing things ironically.  You do things you really don't like because nobody does them, listen to music you don't really like because nobody else knows about it, eat and drink things that aren't really good because nobody else wants to.  So let's focus on food!  

Sure, you can go with the standard food truck offerings, or artisinal pickles, or anything served in a mason jar, but why limit yourself?  I'm sure there are fully trained master chefs out there who have used a microwave before.  

Certainly, no Michelin Star quality chef would ever prepare their food in a microwave.  They have techniques and standards and dignity which probably prevent them from using anything so low brow as a microwave.  Microwaves are for gas station burritos, not haute cuisine.  Or are they?  

My Next Great Idea is to open a thoroughly ironic restaurant in which gourmet foods are meticulously prepared by culinary-trained chefs entirely in microwave ovens.  The working name is "Nuque."  It'll be a huge hit! 

This Just Makes Sense

Is there a Podcast about “Invasion of the Body Snatchers”?  If not, why not?  

Based on an extensive 15 second Google search, there have been a number of Sci-Fi themed Podcasts that have discussed "Invasion of the Body Snatchers," but none that are exclusively devoted to it.  Seems like a missed opportunity.  

At the same time, there already was a Podcast based on the website "Pod People," but they haven't had an episode in the last 3 years.  More missed opportunity.  

So, for those of you unawares, Podcasts are recordings of people talking that are found strewn about the internets.  That's really about all they do.  They give the podcasters something to talk about...namely their ranking in the subscribers list.  I assume there's some way to make money off of this, but it's not clear to me what that might be.  

What's important to note is that the Pod People are the alien race featured in the 1955 novel "The Body Snatchers," later made into the famous movie(s) "Invasion of the Body Snatchers."  It seems only fair that the Pod People have a Pod Cast devoted to them.  Who's working on that?