4/10 Would Not Buy Again

Gray is not really a good color for soap    

I prefer green myself.  It has a refreshing mint scent that really wakes me up in the morning.

So, like most people who don't ride the subway in New York City, I use soap.  My soap of choice while showering is a liquid body wash.  The brand changes from time to time when I feel like I deserve better soap, or I find one that smells better, or they discontinue the kind I had been using because it had those plastic beads in it that the government banned and I probably shouldn't have been using in the first place.  You know...important things like that.  Recently, I decided to make a small change in product, not the brand, just the variety, because of a much more important concern.  

The store was out of the regular stuff.   

So now, I have the new variation of the extra scrubby soap that used to have the plastic beads in it, but now has charcoal.  Whatever.  It still gets all soapy in the shower and it makes me smell great, so I'm all for it.  I did learn not long ago that this particular variety of soap does have one minor drawback.  It's weirdly gray colored.  

So, my prior history in soap products is only mildly colorful.  I used to use some shampoo that was a striking neon blue color that seemed a little weird, but now, my products tend to be just regular blue and green colors.  My soap is now dark gray.  

This is a little disconcerting.  See, the whole point of soap is to remove dirt and oils and other crap from your skin.  This melange tends to blend into a brown or gray color, as evidenced by what's left in the sink after you wash your hands if they're particularly dirty.  So, to have your new soap be the exact color of the crap you're using it to remove leaves you feeling a little suspicious of it's effectiveness.  I no longer know if I'm clean because my soap starts out looking dirty.  At least I smell good. 

I Bought Four Of Them, If You're Curious

Mail-In Rebates are great because you forget about them  

Which also means that companies who sponsor mail-in rebates could completely renege on them about 83% of the time, and nobody would notice.  Wonder if they do...

So, a little while ago, I made a reasonably substantial purchase.  I made this purchase because I really had to, ad my decision was swayed entirely by consumer reviews and test data, and not at all by the fact that I liked the name.  

Not at all. 

Anyway, my decision was also not swayed by the fact that the item I chose came with a reasonably substantial mail-in rebate.  This would help alleviate the cost of the item, but not to a very major degree...it was just a nice added bonus.  To my surprise, I actually filled out the form and mailed it in.  See, mail-in rebates are a pain.  Deliberately, I'm sure.  You have to have the original receipt, a huge form to fill in with your name, what product you bought, your email address, various demographic group information (which I believe I actually filled out accurately on this particular form), and more information than could ever be useful for the people who sold me the item I bought.  Most people either choose not to go through all of that rigmarole, or else they set it aside for later, forget about it, and remember to fill out the form 2-3 weeks after the rebate offer expires.  Or they lose the receipt.  I did that once...no rebate for my toothbrush that time.  Anyway...I actually remembered to do all of that nonsense this time, so I mailed away for my rebate.  

And promptly forgot about it.  

Not long ago, as I was reviewing the week's mail (Yeah...I seriously check the mail about once a week or so...that's how important the crap I get in the mail usually is) I found an envelope from the company I sent away for a rebate from.  Hooray!  I got free money that I completely forgot I rightfully had coming to me!  It, of course, came in the form of a prepaid gift card with an expiration date, so I have to remember to use it between now and then.  One more way they can skimp out on giving me my rebate.  I won't let it happen! 

It Was Zuckerberg, Wasn't It?

Almost wonder what became of that pen pal I was forced to have in first grade…

Almost.  Jeremy doesn't actually care. 

It's more a matter of idle curiosity than anything else.  I was listening to an audio book recently, and for some reason, something in the book made me think of the concept of Pen Pals.  Charlie Brown had one, at the very least.  For those of you who grew up in the internet age and are unaware of the concept, a Pen Pal is somebody you used to mail letters to and talk about...well, whatever it is you talked about with people.  Except that the person was really far away, you've probably never met, and the conversation takes place over the course of weeks because...mail.  83% of all people who had Pen Pals found them through a school project where a teacher forced them to write a letter to somebody, having no idea who was going to get the letter and hoping for the best.  

I was in that 83% back in my grade school days...I forget exactly when, but third grade seems reasonable.  It may have been first grade, but I'm not sure how good everybody's letter writing ability is in first grade, so...yeah.  

What's important here is that I had a pen pal.  I have no idea who that person was, and had very little of an idea back then.  We wrote at least two letters back and forth to each other before forgetting about the concept entirely and never hearing from one another since.  It was one of those things that a teacher forced me to do once, and as soon as a teacher stopped forcing me to do it, I stopped giving all craps and never did it again.  

In a way, this could be sad or remarkably unfortunate.  There exists a possibility that my former pen pal went on to do great things, like found a tech startup, or get elected to high public office, or be an important studio executive producer who could see clear to greenlighting one of my screenplays.  And the fact that I totally gave up on him or her when I was in grade school means I missed out on having a great and influential friendship.  

There also exists the possibility that my former pen pal is now a total dirtbag, rotting away in jail for a particularly heinous crime.  There's really no way to tell.  

So, if you're out there, and remember having a pen pal in the first or third grade forced upon you by your teacher, and that pen pal was a kid named Jeremy who probably told some stupid jokes and had ferociously bad handwriting...let me know how you're doing...especially if you work as an important studio executive producer.  The whole pen pal thing is much easier these days.