Kill Something New, Grog

Who was the first caveman to say, “Is that pelt from last season?”  

I believe that would be Grog.  He was from the West Side Caves.  Number 221, if I'm not mistaken. 

What the crap are you talking about?  

Anyway...I should preface things here.  I know next to nothing about fashion.  The things that I do know, I learned from watching "The Devil Wears Prada," which I pretty much hated the very concept of despite the film starring Anne Hathaway.  Over 90% of the clothing I own has come from one store, and I purchased none of if because I saw it on a Hollywood celebrity or in a magazine which tells me what I need to wear.  I think the concept of fashion as a constantly changing paradigm is nonsensical drivel handed to us by the only people who stand to profit from the concept of fashion being a constantly changing paradigm.  It's akin to Hallmark telling me what holidays I should send people cards for.  They might be just a little biased.  

That said, I recently watched a video on the internets about the three types of shoes I need to have in my wardrobe.  

It was presented by a guy wearing a cravat, so right off the bat, I'm skeptical about the veracity of the video, but I was curious about just how far behind the times I am on my footwear choices.  The video showed several styles of shoes, none of which looked even remotely comfortable, with cravat-boy explaining why each one of them is perfect for whatever you choose to wear, up to and including a tuxedo.  It was almost entirely worthless information, with the possible exception of amusing me with the number of times the words "chukka boots" were said.  If that were a drinking game, I would no longer be here to write this Blag for you.  

The true highlight of the video for me came when cravat-boy was asked about shoes with flat toes, as opposed to the entire store's collection of pointed-toe shoes.  The response was a sour look and a simple and nearly disgusted, "we've moved past that."  It reminded me of the only time in my life I grew to hate somebody because of fashion.  During a discussion about clothing (which I was most assuredly NOT a part of), this person asked in an entirely sincere and derisive manner, "Oh...isn't that from LAST season?"  If somebody ever needed to be slapped for asking a question, I think that was it.  It should be pointed out here that I did not slap this person.  

So this type of nonsense had to have started at some point, where we look down at people who wear clothes more than 6 months old because they're out of style.  Sure, there are larger trends that come and go over time (I'm looking at you, 1980's), but the simple and undeniable fact is that fashion, due entirely to the multi-billion-dollar fashion industry is now a fast-moving death cycle which you can only keep up with if you devote your life and career to keeping up with it.  I do not, and thus, I am an object of derision by people with internet videos wearing cravats.  When did this garbage start?  I choose to believe that a caveman was wearing an animal skin from deer season when zebras were in style.  What was Grog thinking?