The Horror

The Toaster has recruited the spoon dispenser

This is deeply troubling news, everyone.  I don't know if we can stress the importance of this enough.  It's a BIG DEAL THING!   

So, you remember the Famed Toaster of Hades, right?  As if The Toaster hasn't done enough harm already, it has begun recruiting minions, starting with the new spoon dispenser.  

Recently, the Adorably Tiny Cafeteria Thing In My Building replaced their old and outdated cutlery distribution system (dumping a bunch of plastic spoons into a wire basket) with a new high-tech Lever-Based Dispenser system.  You press a lever and a knife, spoon, or fork drops out the bottom.  It's a much better system for some reason or another, because there is no way it's any easier for the ATCTIMB staff.  Regardless of the reasons, it's the new system.

Because it's so new, it's apparently easily corruptible.  Everyone's culinary nemesis, the Famed Toaster of Hades has turned the spoon dispenser over to its dark side.  I mean...I'm guessing that's how it worked.  It's the only thing that makes sense.  Not long ago, I decided on a bowl of soup, which requires a spoon.  Without a second thought, I walk over to the spoon dispenser and push the lever down.  That's when it all went wrong. 

A spoon launched itself from the bottom of the dispenser with more force than I would have thought possible given the mechanisms involved.  More troubling, the spoon was not ejected down into the waiting catch trough of the dispenser, but completely perpendicular to the machine, directly at my chest.  Fortunately, I was wearing a spoon-proof shirt at the time, so the spoon just bounced off of it and down to the floor, leaving a stunned and at least mildly impressed Jeremy in its wake.

How this happened would be entirely beyond comprehension if you weren't familiar with the demonic forces already present in the ATCTIMB.  Having done battle with The Toaster on numerous occasions in the past, I was instantly convinced that this unwarranted spoon attack on my person could only be the work of one foe.  Stay safe out there, everybody.