Didn't Even Need A Mask

Vending machine twofer!  Sticking it to The Man tastes like crunchy chocolate  

As Jeremy's resident council, it is my obligation to inform everyone reading that Jeremy makes no claim as to the location of the aforementioned vending machine, so nobody will know if it was theirs or not.  That way, they can't come after him for the dollar they're out.  Carry on, Jeremy.  

So recently, fortune smiled down on me in the form of crunchy milk chocolate.  

I was walking along a hallway in a very typical fashion, and I happened to look over at the vending machine.  I had no intention of stopping for anything, but as I passed it, my brain registered something that seemed amiss.  About 4 or 5 paces later, I decided to turn around and walk back to see if I had seen what I thought I had...and I did!  A popular candy bar which involved chocolate and puffed rice which would seemingly make a "CRUNCH"ing soung when you eat it was perched very precariously at the end of its little vending corkscrew.  I thought that this might be a prime opportunity for a twofer...but I was quite legitimately not hungry at the time, nor did I have any particularly strong urge for chocolate.  

I stared at the thing for what seemed like minutes, but was probably in actuality about 10-15 seconds before I decided to go for it.  Looking around for witnesses and finding none, I procured a dollar bill from my wallet.  I had 16 dollars at the time, so I had only one chance at this, since the machine wouldn't take my 5 or 10.  The bill was in rough shape, and I feared the ubiquitous dollar bill dance with the machine, where you put the money in and it spits it out repeatedly, leading you to try unfolding the corners or smoothing the edges somehow.  All of my worry was for naught, as the bill was easily accepted on the first pass, and the candy was mine for the taking.  Carefully, I typed in the code for the Crunchy chocolate...the foremost bar dropped almost instantly, the second being propelled tauntingly toward the cliff.  The vending machine completed its twisting cycle, and the second bar dropped into the retrieval bin, and both candy bars were mine!  I had successfully put one over on The Man! 

The first chocolate bar was delicious.  The second one is tucked away for snacking at a later date.