Don't Ask Where My Computer Was

When coming to work, an ID Badge is much more useful than a garage door opener

In most cases, I'm sure that's true.  But what if you work in a garage?

 Valid point, but I don't work in a garage.  I work in an office which requires employees to scan an ID badge in order to enter the building.  I know this.  I also have a garage at my house which requires clicking a button in order to open the door.  I know this as well.  

To facilitate going in to work, I have one of the aforementioned ID badges.  It stays in my car, locked safely away when I'm not at work.  It stays there so that I don't forget to bring it with me and have to drive back home to get it.  Smart.  

To facilitate going home, I have a remote control for the garage door.  This was all well and good until I got a car which could be programmed to mimic the door controls.  Once I got that set up, I had no need for the remote, but wanted to keep it around just in case, so I tucked it away in the little storage bin in my car that also contains my work ID badge.  There's plenty of room for both, and it's out of the way, so I don't have to think about it.  Smart.  

I keep my work ID badge on a lanyard that I got as a piece of corporate swag from one of my suppliers.  83% of all ID badge lanyards at my office were obtained this way.  On occasion, the lanyard itself gets caught up in the clip for the garage door opener and the remote comes along for the ride when being pulled out of the storage compartment in the car.  Not usually a problem, I free the remote and re-stow it.  In a recent case, my brain didn't work As Well As It Usually Does and as I grasped the conglomerate lanyard/garage door opener, I thought to myself, "I don't need all this."  I disconnected the remote from the lanyard and tossed the lanyard back in the storage and set off to work holding my garage door opener.  Not smart. 

Figured Out How To Make Titles Again!

One person’s “Deep Appreciation” is another person’s “Apathy”

Yeah, I don't really care.  

Your support means a lot, thanks!  

I see what you did there.

So today's Sametime Status is brought to you by the workers at the Adorably Tiny Cafeteria Thing In My Building, who are given full creative license over the signs posted around the place.  The same people that brought you Use Your Head When Toasting Bread post random signs throughout the ATCTIMB, some of which are useful, and some of which are borderline passive-aggressive.  They tell us what the price is for a hard-boiled egg (which I never see anybody buying, so I'm a little concerned about these things), and when a beverage fountain is out of order.  

Once in a while, when the cash registers are running low on change, a sign gets carted out which implores people to use smaller-denomination bills when paying for your goodies.  The sign says, and as near as I can remember, I'm quoting:  "Ones And Fives Would Be Deeply Appreciated."  It seems excessive to me that they add the word "Deeply" when describing the appreciation for ones and fives, so maybe I expect too much.  Not long ago, I was in line to buy about 3 bucks worth of stuff, and I had exactly $24 in my wallet (a $20 bill, and 4 $1s).  I could have easily paid with the 20-spot, but since the sign was out and I felt like I could have used some deep appreciation, I decided to go with paying in singles.  

I wasn't sure what was in store for me.  As much as I knew there would be no parade or fanfare for using small bills, I thought there may have actually been some sort of acknowledgment on their part for the fact that I saw the sign and actively chose to help them out.  I mean..."Deeply Appreciated" implies something more than simple appreciation, so I didn't think it was out of the realm to expect some sort of recognition.  Such was not the case...I got the same vacant stare off into space and mumbled "thanks" that I always get at that hour of the morning.  Probably the same reaction the next guy got when paying for his coffee with a 20. 

I love the classics

It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.


Is that what happened to my paper?


Uhm...of course not.


What's more impressive about this is that you're up before dawn. Morning's suck.


I agree. Now...in case you missed it yesterday...


Which we all did because of your day savagely full of meetings at work...


Yesterday was "Barbie and Barney Backlash Day," a holiday created by Wellcat Holidays and Herbs in an excuse to sell more greeting cards. Apparently, you're also supposed to tell your children that Barnie and Barney are imaginary. So, to all of the Loyal Readers out there...I consider you my family, so let me be the first to say, "Barbie and Barney are not real." Sorry.

Good Morning!!

Nothing says “Good Morning” quite like falling down the stairs.


First day with the new feet?


So it would seem that walking down a flight of stairs in a morning stupor while carrying a laptop bag with a hanging shoulder strap should be done cautiously.


It IS Fall, you know...


In fact, I'm not even sure why this hasn't happened before. The potential has been there for quite some time. All you have to do is step on the strap and just like that, you've lost control and are launching yourself down the stairs.


Is there anything I can do to make your trip more comfortable?


Fortunately, I'd left the door at the end of the steps open, so I just took a couple extra steps through there instead of splattering myself all over the door. It probably doesn't say much for me that the first thought I had at the end of this frightening second and a half ordeal was, "Hey...this will make a good Sametime Status!"