I'll Allow Two Weeks To Transition

Why is it a pair of pants, but only one shirt?  


Here we go...Jeremy's pondering again.


Well, it makes no sense.  Things need to make sense.

So, today's status obviously deals with semantics when it comes to articles of clothing...


That all depends on what you mean by "semantics..."


People tend to refer to certain clothing in singular terms, but others in plural, and I don't always know why.  I mean, some of them are pretty obvious, like a pair of socks, or a pair of shoes, in which there are two entirely separate pieces of clothing that come in a matched set, and you tend to wear both of them at the same time.  Gloves fall into this category as well.

But, when you talk about pants (and for the sake of today's discussion, we'll be dealing with the American definition of pants, and not the British version, but the same concept applies), they are most often referred to in the plural.  As in: This is my favorite pair of pants.  Why is this?  There is only one article of clothing. 

Pants and shirts are fairly similar clothes in concept.  They each are designed to cover a segment of a body's core, and two extremities.  The the case of a shirt, it covers your torso and two arms versus pants, which clothe the pelvic bum area and two legs. 


Can people please start using the phrase "Pelvic bum area" now?  


So I don't really understand where the semantic difference comes from that would lead you to need a pair of pants, when it is a single garment, versus a single shirt.  Sure, you have a pair of pant legs, but you also have a pair of shirt sleeves and nobody says "I'm going to wear this pair of shirts" when talking about one piece of clothing.


Can we at least say that this debate you're having with yourself is pants?


No, because that would be using the British version, which we already discounted.  Also, that's the slang usage anyway.

At this point, I'm not sure which side of the debate to fall on, but I would like us, as a society, to settle on a single usage for the sake of consistency.  We either need to refer to shirts as plural, or pants as singular.  So get used to it, folks...you will either need to start wearing a shirt and pant, or a pair of pants with your favorite shirts.  It's the only way. 

How About It, Webster?

Is “Ombuds” a verb?  If not, why not?  

You know, Jeremy.  This Blag is on the internet.  The same internet you can type this question into a search webpage and get an answer pretty instantly.  

I know that.  I also know that Ombuds is not a word, even though it should be.  That's not the point.  

The point is that I thought of this not all that long ago, and decided that Ombuds would make a great verb and that it needed to be one.  If nothing else, it makes people think.  

It makes them think you're a little off kilter, perhaps.   

So, everyone knows, or should know, of the word Ombudsman.  If only because it's a hilarious word.  One of those words that you say like 10 times in a row, and you can't help but to laugh.  But what is an ombudsman?  It's something of a middle man between two parties who help to settle differences.  Not quite to the extent of an arbitrator, but somebody who makes sure that things get straightened out.  I actually had to use an ombudsman at one point in a dispute between myself and the phone company when they refused to give me a phone line that worked.  This was some time ago when people had phone lines, but you get the idea.  

So what is the verb that should be used when an ombudsman is doing their job, acting as a go-between for two people?  They are ombudsing, of course.  It's not a word, and it's not in the Blag's spell checker, but that's beside the point entirely.  It darn well should be!  

I mean, after all, liaise is a verb to describe a liaison doing their job (dangerous or otherwise), so there is no logical reason that you wouldn't ombuds when performing your role as an ombudsman.  It just makes sense.  

Specializing in Blag and Non-Blag Writing

A local mechanic is “Specializing in Foreign and Domestic”…also known as “everything”  

Well, if you have to have a specialty, I suppose everything is better than nothing, right?

That's at least partially true, but if you're specializing in everything, doesn't that also mean that you're specializing in nothing?  I mean...it's much like the argument that everything can't be awesome, since if there is no un-awesome, then everything is just mediocre.  Nothing stands out when everything is on the same level.  

So, there's a mechanic's garage that I drive past on my way to work.  They seem to be at least farily popular, since they've got cars parked around them pretty much every time I go by.  That said, the place doesn't quite look like a truly high-end garage.  The floor is not clean, things appear at least a bit cluttered at first glance, they don't appear to have a whole lot of storage for spare parts, and the types of cars that are usually there are normally older and...shall we say...not in pristine condition.  That said, I'm entirely certain that they have all of the requisite certifications and training to be a reputable auto repair shop, so don't go basing your business decisions on my drive-by opinion.  I've never been there, so I'm not a reliable source of information.  

So, the big sign over top of the building says the name of the garage, and underneath says that they are "Specializing in Foreign and Domestic."  This is at least somewhat important, because some garages don't work on certain makes of cars due to training, parts, maintainability, things like that.  Often times, foreign cars are discriminated against for these types of factors.  So, finding a repair shop that specializes in foreign cars can be useful.  

It should be noted that Jeremy drives a foreign car, but it's under warranty, so he just brings his to the dealer and they pay for fixing it.  

So, a garage that specializes in foreign cars can be a plus.  A garage that specializes in domestic cars can be a plus for other people.  Of course, at that point, you have exhausted the list of available cars.  They're either made in the US (Domestic), or somewhere else (Foreign).  There is nothing else.  Period.  So, once you divide cars into Foreign and Domestic, you have precisely nothing left.  So, once you specialize in one type, if you add the other, you are no longer specializing.  You're just working on cars.