Theme Week, Part Judo

Jeremy Is In The Office Proudly Presents 
US Olympian or Foreign Head of State Week! 

Day 10: Nareg Guregian


It's a very special monday edition of Theme Week, because Jeremy was on vacation on Friday and forgot to post the final day of US Olympian or Foreign Head of State Week.  So, you get it today, and later, we'll continue our regularly scheduled Blagging.  


So, the Olympics are officially over for another two years, when we'll all gather in South Korea for the 23rd Winter Games.  We look at the final medal tally for this Summer's Games and the US came out on top, with a haul of 121 medals, 46 of them Gold.  Way to go, team!

A little farther down the standings, we find Mexico coming away with 2 Silver medals, and 3 Bronze medals including the Modern Pentathlon.  You know, we couldn't make do with one of those old fashioned Pentathlons...we had to modernize it.  I'm not entirely sure what events make up the Modern Pentathlon, but I can tell you with utmost certainty that Mexico's Ismael Hernandez Uscanga is the third best in the world at it, and his picture on Google shows him riding a horse, so that's probably involved. 

Why all this talk of Mexico?  Well, because Thursday's edition of US Olympian or Foreign Head of State introduced everyone to Enrique Nieto, who did not compete for the United States.  He enjoyed the games (presumably...I don't actually know where he was) from just south of the United States in Mexico, where he is the current president.  Nieto assumed the position in December of 2012, and since has been named to Forbes' list of The World's Most Powerful People. 

The final day of Theme Week brings us Nareg Guregian.  So, for the final time (at least for this year...who knows what will happen in 2018?), we ask "US Olympian, or Foreign Head of State?"

Theme Week, Part Individual Swimming Medley

Jeremy Is In The Office Proudly Presents 
US Olympian or Foreign Head of State Week! 

Day 9: Enrique Nieto


Only two more days of Theme Week, folks.  Enjoy it while it lasts!  


That's right.  We're already on Day 9 of US Olympian or Foreign Head of State Week, and boy have we had some fun.  Yesterday, we introduced you to Cyrus Hostetler, a regal name if there ever was one.  But is Hostetler political royalty, or Olympic royalty? 

Well, unfortunately neither. 

Hostetler is an American Javelin thrower who competed in both the 2012 and 2016 Summer Olympics.  Sadly, his qualification round throw of 79.76 meters was good only for 20th in competition, preventing him from advancing further.  A throw of nearly 82 meters was required to lock down 12th place, and a spot in the medal rounds.  Keshorn Walcott of Trinidad and Tobago blew away the competition in the opening round with a stunning throw of 88.68 meters, more than 2.5 meters father than second place.  The medal round takes place Saturday evening. 

On to Day 9, and Enrique Nieto.  2016 US Olympian, or Foreign Head of State? 

Theme Week, Part Handball

Jeremy Is In The Office Proudly Presents 
US Olympian or Foreign Head of State Week! 

Day 8: Cyrus Hostetler


We're in the home stretch here in Theme Week.  The Olympics are inching closer toward their conclusion, and so are we as we enter Day 8 of US Olympian or Foreign Head of State Week!  


Yesterday, we introduced you to Joachim Gauck, and asked you to decide if he was a member of the 2016 US Olympic Team, or the head of another country's government.  Well, I'm pleased to announce that Gauck is the current President of Germany!

I'm not entirely sure how politics work in Germany, since they have both a President and a Chancellor (The possibly more widely known Angela Merkel), but Gauck is, in fact the president.  Germany's former president resigned in February of 2012, and following a grueling 27-day campaign, Gauck was elected to succeed, carrying nearly 81% of the Federal Convention votes. 

It's safe to assume that Gauck is highly invested in the 2016 Olympic games, cheering on the German team, who have collectively won 27 medals, ranking them 7th of all the countries participating.  That count is certain to rise later on tonight in the Gold Medal match in women's Beach volleyball, where Germany's duo take on a talented Brazilian team, with the winner taking home Gold, and the non-winner donning Silver. 

Day 8 sees Cyrus Hostetler.  2016 American Olympian, or Foreign Head of State?!

Theme Week, Part Gymnastics

Jeremy Is In The Office Proudly Presents 
US Olympian or Foreign Head of State Week! 

Day 7: Joachim Gauck


Onward, upward, and more strongward...or whatever the Latin phrase is...as Olympic Theme Week continues on into Day 7.  


We're forging ahead in our US Olympian or Foreign Head of State week with the results from Day 6.  We introduced you to Sergio Mattarella and asked you to decide if he was a member of the 2016 US Olympic team, or a another nation's leader.  Well, in the case of Mr. Mattarella...he will be rooting for Team Italy while they are battling it out in Rio, as he is the current President of Italy!

A long time member of the Italian government, (since his election to Parliament in 1993), Mattarella was elevated to the position of President of the Italian Republic on January 31st 2015.  He succeeded Giorgio Napolitano, who had become the longest serving President in the history of the Republic, and is the only Sicilian to have held the post. 

Mattarella has the honor of presiding over the 2016 Italian Olympic team, which currently stands in 7th place overall with a 23 medal haul, including an impressive 8 Gold.  Italy's next great chance to take home a medal comes later on today, as their Mixed Nacra 17 currently stands second heading into the medal race.  That's a type of catamaran, for those of who less familiar with competitive sailing vessels. 

As they often say around Olympic times, "Citius, Altius, Fortius" and we move onto Day 7 of the Theme Week with Joachim Gauck.  Is Gauck a 2016 US Olympian, or the leader of another country bent on Olympic Gold? 

Theme Week, Part Fencing

Jeremy Is In The Office Proudly Presents  
US Olympian or Foreign Head of State Week!  
 
Day 6: Sergio Mattarella


What's this?!  Theme Week Fortnight?!  How exciting for everyone, especially you, the reader.  


And for me, the writer, who doesn't have to come up with original crap for another whole week!  I can sit here and ride this Olympic wave a little while longer.  


So, all this week, we continue our Olympic Theme Week, where you get to decide whether the notable celebrity featured is a 2016 US Olympian, or the Head of State for a foreign country.  Today, Sergia Mattarella.  


Friday, we featured Gerek Meinhardt.  Certainly seems like a fairly regal title...but is it political royalty, or Olympic royalty?   Meinhardt is now officially Olympic Royalty, having competed for the United States in fencing!  Meinhardt competed in the Team Foil event at the fencing venue, where the US finished third with a tremendous 45-31 victory over a talented Italian team in the Bronze Medal Match.  The Americans lost their semi-final match to the eventual Gold Medal team from Russia.  Still, a spirited performance to represent the United States.  

Now, we move on to Sergio Mattarella.  Definitely a name of Italian descent, but is Mattarella a current Italian leading the government, or an Italian American competing in Rio?  You decide!  

Theme Week, Part Equestrian

Jeremy Is In The Office Proudly Presents US Olympian or Foreign Head of State Week!  
Day 5: Gerek Meinhardt


The first week of the Olympics is winding down, and there has been plenty of fun and excitement to go around Rio.  That said, there's still more to go here during Theme Week, where you tell us whether the person named is a 2016 US Olympian, or a foreign Head of State.  


Yesterday's notable person was Kristen Shaldybin.  Shaldybin may one day be a head of state, but to do so, she will need to run for President of the United States.  She is currently a member of the US Olympic Team, set to compete in Rhythmic Gymnastics next Saturday.  She will be competing in the team competition, where she has already earned several medals at the 2015 Pan Am games, including gold for the Team 6 Clubs 2 Hoops discipline.  

I'll be the first to admit, I don't know much about how rhythmic gymnastics works, but that seems like an awful lot of gubbins for one team to be throwing around, so it's probably at least reasonably impressive to watch.  Tune in next Saturday and cheer on Team USA!  (If you're from the USA, of course.  Cheer on your own country if you're so inclined...no judging here.)   

Today, we move on to Gerek Meinhardt.  Will we be seeing Meinhardt in the ongoing coverage of the Olympic games?  Will it be as an American athlete, or as the dignitary of another country?  Come back monday to find out the answer! 

Theme Week, Part Diving

Jeremy Is In The Office Proudly Presents
US Olympian or Foreign Head of State Week!  

Day 4: Kristen Shaldybin


The Olympic Games continue, as does Olympic Theme Week here at Jeremy Is In The Office.  We press on to Day 4 of "US Olympian or Foreign head of State" week.  


Yesterday probably concluded the "easy" portion of the quiz with Dilma Rousseff.  She's been in the news quite a bit lately, so some of you may have been familiar.  The articles on Rousseff also focus around Brazil, but not usually because of the Olympics.  No, ladies and gentlemen, Dilma Rousseff is the current President of Brazil.  

More specifically, she's under impeachment proceedings in her role as President of Brazil, as Brazil's lower house of government voted to begin impeachment in April of this year.  The Brazilian Senate voted in May to hold a trial, which is required to begin within 180 days to review the charges of "responsibility crimes" against Rousseff.  

In lighter news, the Brazilian Olympic team is currently sitting on two medals (Shooting and Judo), with more to come a near certainty. 

Today, we move on to Kristen Shaldybin.  Is Kristen competing in the Rio games wearing red, white, and blue, or will she be rooting on another country? 

Theme Week, Part Cycling

Jeremy Is In The Office Proudly Presents
US Olympian or Foreign Head of State Week!  

Day 3:  Dilma Rousseff


Olympic competition has captivated us for a third day, as we ask the question, "Is this person a 2016 US Olympian, or the Head of State for another country?"  


So, yesterday we continued our Theme Week with what should have been an easy choice in Justin Trudeau, as he was in the news not all that long ago.  

Not for competing in the Olympics, of course, but for being elected the new Prime Minister of Canada.  The Liberal Party had a remarkably successful election on October 19th of 2015, and the incoming wave of party members secured the Prime Minister position for Mr. Trudeau.  The Liberal Party won 184 seats of the 338-seat Canadian House of Commons, a net gain of 148 seats from their previous representation.  Trudeau took over as Prime Minister on November 4, 2015, replacing Conservative Party member Stephen Harper, who had been in the position since 2006.  

Justin Trudeau, no doubt, is a fan of Team Canada in the Olympics and is undoubtedly proud of the five medals they have won up to this point.  These include the Bronze medal in women's Rugby Sevens, which Canada won in rousing fashion, defeating Great Britain by a lopsided score of 33-10.  

Today, we move on to Dilma Rouseff.  Will Dilma be playing for Gold as a member of Team USA, or rooting on another team from high office? 

Theme Week, Part Badminton

Jeremy Is In The Office Proudly Presents
US Olympian or Foreign Head of State Week!  

Day 2: Justin Trudeau


Today, we continue our Olympic celebration with the second day of Theme Week, asking the question, "Is this person a member of the 2016 US Olympic Team, or the head of state for another country?"  


As usual in Theme Week, we started things off pretty easily yesterday with William Priddy.  This man, better known as Reid Priddy (yes, it was kind of a trick question, deal with it) is representing the good ol' USA in Rio this year as an indoor volleyball player.  At 38 years old, Priddy is the elder statesman on a very young and inexperienced, though immensely talented, US team which is considered a favorite to come away with a medal in the tournament.  He's also the guy responsible for This Preposterous Spike.  The team got off to a rough start in the Olympics on Sunday with a 3-0 upset loss to Canada, but they seek to rebound later on today vs Italy.  Priddy has become only the second player in US history to play for the US indoor volleyball team in four consecutive Olympic games, joining retired setter Lloy Ball as the only players to accomplish the feat. 

For today, we move on to Justin Trudeau.  Will Trudeau be rooting on another country to victory as its head of state, or will Team USA fans be rooting on one of their own? 

Theme Week, Part Archery

Jeremy Is In The Office Proudly Presents
US Olympian or Foreign Head of State Week!  

Day 1: William Priddy


You may remember some time ago, we ran a Theme Week here at Jeremy Is In The Office to celebrate the Olympics with a fun game.  Well, we've decided to bring the same game back, but for the Summer Olympics!  


That's right!  It's time to catch the fever!


Careful, Jeremy.  If you mention a cowbell, we could get sued here.


It's time to catch Olympic Fever!  One entire fortnight of non-stop sporting action full of sports you only see on television once every four years!  Of course, they don't show any of them on TV since they're too busy running non-stop "personal story" vignettes about the US athletes' struggles with hayfever growing up in their small town while having big Olympic dreams.  But, crappy television coverage aside, it's Olympic Time, and we thought we'd take this opportunity to allow you, our loyal readers, to become a little more familiar with the fine folks who are representing our country in this global sporting event.  Tell the nice people how it works! 


Right you are, Jeremy!  The rules are simple.  Each day, we present you with a single name.  Your job is simply to tell us whether that person is a member of the US Olympic Team, or if they are the head of state of a foreign country.  Since you're all such intelligent and worldly people, this will be easy, right?  Responses will be accepted through Instant Message at work, email or text message, or Comment right here on the Blag.  Responses will be accepted from the time it's posted until 8AM the following day.  Only one response per person will be accepted, so make sure you really really mean it before you hit that "send" button.  


So, for the purposes of this contest, we don't make a distinction between the specific titles "Head of State" or "Head of Government," so either one could be in play here.  As an example, either Queen Elizabeth or Theresa May could be used for the United Kingdom, as they are Head of State (Queen) and Head of Government (Prime Minister), respectively.  All of the Olympians featured here will be representing the United States in their sports.  Some of them will have already competed by the time they are featured in the game, which will make it easier for you, so those of you watching the Games intently will have something of an advantage. 

Without further ado, let's get going!  William Priddy!  US Olympian, or Foreign Head of State?  Go! 

4/10 Would Not Buy Again

Gray is not really a good color for soap    

I prefer green myself.  It has a refreshing mint scent that really wakes me up in the morning.

So, like most people who don't ride the subway in New York City, I use soap.  My soap of choice while showering is a liquid body wash.  The brand changes from time to time when I feel like I deserve better soap, or I find one that smells better, or they discontinue the kind I had been using because it had those plastic beads in it that the government banned and I probably shouldn't have been using in the first place.  You know...important things like that.  Recently, I decided to make a small change in product, not the brand, just the variety, because of a much more important concern.  

The store was out of the regular stuff.   

So now, I have the new variation of the extra scrubby soap that used to have the plastic beads in it, but now has charcoal.  Whatever.  It still gets all soapy in the shower and it makes me smell great, so I'm all for it.  I did learn not long ago that this particular variety of soap does have one minor drawback.  It's weirdly gray colored.  

So, my prior history in soap products is only mildly colorful.  I used to use some shampoo that was a striking neon blue color that seemed a little weird, but now, my products tend to be just regular blue and green colors.  My soap is now dark gray.  

This is a little disconcerting.  See, the whole point of soap is to remove dirt and oils and other crap from your skin.  This melange tends to blend into a brown or gray color, as evidenced by what's left in the sink after you wash your hands if they're particularly dirty.  So, to have your new soap be the exact color of the crap you're using it to remove leaves you feeling a little suspicious of it's effectiveness.  I no longer know if I'm clean because my soap starts out looking dirty.  At least I smell good. 

As Some Point, Donald Trump Gets Involved

Hopefully, congress doesn’t have to vote on my tax refund

Can I vote Nay?  

As long as you understand that my not getting my tax refund will involve cuts to staff, including imaginary alter-personas.  

Yeah, like you pay me anyway. 

So it's that time of year again!  Tax season!  How very exciting.  Compiling a barrage of paperwork to figure out just how much of my money the government gets to keep.  Sure, I know that the government provides a ludicrous number of services in exchange for that money, and it seems like a lot when it's staring at you from a tax form, but all things considered, it's not so bad of a value.   

But it's still boring.

So I sat there for a couple hours doing my taxes and figured out just how much Uncle Sam and his state counterpart (whoever that may be) owe me.  Yes, I get a refund.  No, I can't change my exemptions any more to minimize that.  That's part of why I do my taxes early...so I'm not loaning the government money at 0% interest any longer than I absolutely have to.

Which brings me to my main joke.  I sincerely hope that congress doesn't have to vote on whether or not to pay out tax refunds.  First of all, it would get buried in committee for a couple months before a heavily modified version of the bill with several billion dollars worth of special interest projects for Wyoming tacked on ever made it to the floor of the house.  Then, it gets debated as to just how much my tax refund is going to hurt American jobs and how environmentally irresponsible is was of me to use electricity to complete my tax forms, and why should I get a tax refund when other people don't even pay federal income taxes.  

Should it ever get passed there, it moves on to the Senate where my tax refund gets hung up by people opposed to the Wyoming riders added to the bill, and there's more debate about how those riders are going to hurt American jobs and how irresponsible it was for the House to add all that special interest money to a measly tax refund bill, which is now known as the "Enhancement of Heritage Happiness Act," or, Ehh. 

One full Sunday News Talk Show Cycle later, a modified version of the bill without the Wyoming parts gets voted on, approved without a single minority vote and returned to the House.  There, it gets pushed back to committee, since the House can not approve a bill like this without Wyoming being included.  The bill dies in the House, and I don't get my tax refund.

Wheels Up!

The State Department says I can leave the country again, and they’ll actually let me back in

Well, that's one the State Department got wrong.  

Anyone who's ever traveled to a foreign country knows that in order to get in and out, you need to have a passport.  It's not all that difficult to get one...you fill out a form, get your picture taken, turn over some documents proving that you're alive, write a big fat check to the government, and when the government is darn good and ready, they send you your new passport.  Thrilling!

It's akin to getting a new driver's license, in that it's always interesting to see just how badly your picture transferred to the pages of the book.  The downside of getting a new passport to replace your old one is that you have to give the old one back, and you lose all of the little stamps you got from every foreign country you went to in the 10 years since you got it.  

Well, my passport expired not that long ago, so I got to go through this rigmarole to get its replacement.  I had to wave goodbye to my stamps from France, Japan, Poland, Germany, England, and a couple others in favor of blankness.  It was a little sad, so now I have to go somewhere to start my new collection.  Where to?

Tomorrow's is going to be pretty okay, too

Today’s Sametime Status is to remind you that monday’s Sametime Status was really good.


Really? I thought monday's was crap.


As a general rule, you think all the Sametime Statuses are crap.


I suppose that's true enough. Maybe you should try writing better stuff.


Today's Sametime Status is brought to you by the US Federal Government. Yes, the same government that's debating having a meeting with Toyota to yell at them or something. Last week, I got a letter in the mail from the government telling me that soon, they'd be sending me a Census form. Apparently, when the Census form got to me, there is no possible way that I would know what it was or what to do with it unless they sent me a letter in advance. It was truly something out of a Lewis Black routine. (Not surprisingly, viewer discretion is advised as the previous link may contain some foul language). It was in fact a piece of mail telling me that I'd be getting a piece of mail. It also said that I should fill out the form and mail it back right away.

So on monday, I get my census form in the mail. It's very exciting. Really. I would have filled it out in great haste and mailed it right back to the government, except for the fact that the government is really slow about everything, and I believe in fair play. So I plan on holding off on it for a couple days or so. I have yet to decide.

Anyway...in yesterday's mail, (that's Tuesday for those keeping score) I get a postcard in the mail telling me that I just received my Census form, and that I should fill it out and mail it back right away. That's right, folks...I got a piece of mail telling me that I got a piece of mail. All within days of getting a piece of mail telling me that I'd be getting a piece of mail.

This is somebody's job. I'm paying for this person to be employed...deciding that a mere census form is completely insufficient. I need 2 pieces of mail telling me about a third piece of mail. Some idiot sat in a room and actually designed the letter and the postcard...probably held a meeting with other idiots to decide what they should say and what government logo should be on them. All of these people need to be fired. They are a waste of my money.