Please bail me out?

I'm not a tea thief!


Guilty conscience today, Jeremy?


Not really...


That means yes. When did you take up tea theft anyway?


I did not steal tea! It just kinda looked like I did if you weren't paying attention. And since people don't pay attention to the world, I had to go over the explanations in my head on my way back to the office. Let me explain...


Tell it to the judge.


So not long ago, I went down to the Adorably Tiny Cafeteria Thing In My Building to get a bottle of iced tea. It was morning, and breakfast time, which meant I needed to get a spoon. It's been pretty well documented here that my brain doesn't work properly in the morning, so I ended up grabbing the bottle of iced tea, paying for it, and leaving the ATCTIMB. Immediately upon stepping outside the cash register line, I realized I had forgotten a spoon, so I went back in the entrance, grabbed a spoon, and walked out. Perfectly legitimate.

Of course, if you weren't paying attention, all you saw was me walking out the entrance to the ATCTIMB with a bottle of iced tea, avoiding the cash registers. It may have appeared that I was stealing tea, when in fact I was not. Having left the entrance with my legitimately purchased iced tea and complimentary spoon, I walked to the stairwell contemplating if anyone had seen me leaving the entrance without paying for tea and thinking I was a tea thief...and the story I would have to tell if they asked if I was going to pay for the bottle. I also thought it would make for a pretty decent Sametime Status. So here you go.

It's like an anime convention...

Not a significant source of other nutrients.


Perhaps reading a blag isn't nutritious, but it always leaves me satisfied.


You're also biased.


I'm paid to be biased.


Anyway...today's status comes to you courtesy of the bottle of iced tea I drank this morning. And yesterday morning, for that matter.


Most mornings, it would seem.


The back of the bottle, as required by overbearing micromanagement federal government law, states the following nutrition facts, as it pertains to my tea:

• Total Fat: 0g (0%)
  
• Sodium: 0mg (0%)
  
• Total Carb.: 0g (0%)
  
• Sugars: 0g (0%)
  
• Protein: 0g (0%)
  
  
  
• Not a significant source of other nutrients.
  

Seems like pretty boring tea. Did it taste like water?


It tasted just fine...that's not the point. My issue stems from the fact that it's not a significant source of OTHER nutrients? It's not a significant source of ANY nutrients! We could have saved ourselves a whole lot of ink, if it had just stated:
"Nutrition facts: N/A"


It's a significant source of water.


Two full servings! It's also #1 in the ingredients.