How Many Are There? The Lyrics Are Not Specific

I think Warren Zevon ordered my lunch for me  

Did he pay for it too?  That would be very nice of him. 

So, I should probably point out here that I don't know Warren Zevon, and have never met the guy, leave alone have lunch with him.  What's important to note here is that my lunch was inspired by Warren Zevon.  

Yeah, this doesn't make sense anymore. 

So, I'll point out here that there is something of a tradition here at work that goes back for several years.  It's known as "Chinese Tuesday" and it happens, as you might suspect, every Tuesday.  It's when we go to the Chinese restaurant across the street from work for lunch.  The guy who runs it is pretty cool, and he knows us all since we've been going there for years, and the place is pretty convenient.  It's actually one of to and a half restaurants within a mile of work, the half being the franchised donut chain that's attached to the gas station which I've never actually ordered lunch from.  I get their coffee all of the time, since I'm told my country runs on it or something, but that's beside the point entirely.  

Not long ago, on my way to work, I was thinking ahead to lunch, and what I should order from the Chinese restaurant, since it was Tuesday.  I often go with the broccoli-themed dishes, such as chicken with broccoli, or beef with broccoli, but since I have lots of broccoli at home, I wasn't really feeling that.  There are several curry dishes that are quite popular at the restaurant, and I get a couple of those on occasion, but I wasn't sure if I was into spiciness.  Then, Warren Zevon happened.  

See, Warren's song "Werewolves of London" might be his most commercially successful song, having peaked at #21 in the U.S. back in 1978.  It's a ridiculous song, containing precisely 8 beats worth of music repeated ad nauseum for 3 minutes and 27 seconds.  Seriously...it never changes.  

Anyway, the first, I'm going to call it "verse" of the song, even though it probably doesn't count as one, ends with the line "Gonna get a big dish of beef chow mein."  Then the song goes into some howling and mentioning the Werewolves of London while the same 8 beats of music play ad more nauseum.  

This reminded me of the fact that the Chinese restaurant does a pretty good job with Lo Mein noodles, not quite what the werewolf was eating, but my mind had made the connection.  More importantly, my mind made up what it was I wanted for lunch...a big dish of beef lo mein.  

I did not howl when I ate it, nor was I in London, nor were 8 beats of music playing in the background. 

Transportation and Lodging Not Included

Online coupon for a Vanilla Ice concert?  Christmas shopping…DONE!

Awwwe....now nobody will know what to get you.  

I don't know what to get me either.  

It's that time of year again, kids!  Time for running all over creation (or the internet) to buy Christmas presents for all the people you know or care about.  Me?  I at least have to buy a plastic spider for a coworker because of a comment made during a meeting, but other than that, I'm still taking suggestions. 

Of course, if I accept suggestions from all of the Spam emails and internet advertisements that manage to slip through Ad Blocker, things could go off the rails pretty quickly.  

So, there's one big online shopping site that, for strictly Blag Purposes, we'll call "Nile.com".  They take their suggestions after stuff you've already looked at.  This is both smart and remarkably annoying.  It stands to reason that if I look at and buy movies on occasion, then I might be interested in other movies, particularly ones of the same genre.  It's annoying when I buy a copy of "Birdemic: Shock and Terror" on Blu Ray (since you can't stream it anymore, and it's a true classic of cinema), and Nile.com thinks I also want a copy of The Room, Troll 2, and Manos: The Hands of Fate.  I mean...I might want those movies for the same reasons that I wanted Birdemic, but I don't want anyone to know that.  Yes, I recently bought a camera strap, but doesn't it stand to reason that I will now be good on camera straps for a little while?  I really don't need another one, even if it comes recommended by a website.  Yes, I know I ordered a large box of breath mints once, but I really don't need to buy them on a subscription basis, even if I save 8 cents per container. 

Well, all of this nonsense changed recently.

For some reason, I apparently subscribed to a site that promotes coupons that come in groups.  I forget what the site is called.  They send me group-related coupons all the stinking time, and I rarely, if ever, even remotely want or need whatever it is they're selling (Looking at you, Botox discount).  I've also never used this site to buy gifts for anybody...holiday-related or otherwise.  They have recently solved all of my problems.  This year, for Christmas, everybody on my shopping list may want to expect tickets to the big Vanilla Ice / Salt-N-Pepa show.  They're half price, so I can sort out all of my Christmas shopping in one fell swoop, give everybody what they've always wanted, and save money all at once.  Wins all around!  Self...you are one crafty consumer. 

Samba or Mambo?

What’s a Menuto Suit?  

Probably something very colorful and suited to an 80's boy band from Puerto Rico?

  

Well, that would be a Menudo Suit, wouldn't it?  

Yes...why, what were you looking for?

So, I have had this issue with a sign in a local restaurant for a couple months now.  I know exactly what it's supposed to be saying, but as you are well aware, my mind isn't usually prone to reinterpretation once I have it made up.  I've decided that a Menuto Suit is a thing I'm not aware of, so I must figure it out.  

In this restaurant, to which I am a frequent visitor since it's close to work, has a sign behind the counter advertising their catering service.  Personally, I've never used this service, but I know people who have, and it's delicious.  They specialize in barbecue foods like pulled pork, ribs, briskets, and other such things that are making me hungry right now.  They offer to bring their wares to your party for you, cutting down on work and cooking that you have to do...you know...the exact thing that a catering service does that I really didn't need to describe here.  

Either way, the sign is hand-written on a white board by a person whose handwriting is only slightly better than my own.  (My own is miserable, hence all the typing on a Blag here)  The sign promises that they have "A Menuto Suit Everyone."  The actual message is obvious, but it's written so poorly and with such awful kerning (is kerning a thing in handwriting, and not just typefacing?) that I can't help but think of Menuto Suits.  And 80's Puerto Rican singing groups...which is never a good place to go.  

Please make a new sign.