Red October!

Writing notes to yourself does no good if you can’t decipher your own notes

You clearly need to write notes about your notes.  Yo, dawg...I heard you like notes... 

So, as happens more often than you may think, I need to remember something.  Be it the name of a song, a movie I've been told to watch, the name of a flower I should plant, a great idea I had for a Christmas present for somebody, or a hilarious Sametime Status message I should use.  

And just why do you never use these so-called "Hilarious" Sametime Statuses?  Instead, we get this crap.  

Most of the time, these sort of notes find themselves on a little widget on my phone which resembles one of those little yellow sticky notes you find in offices everywhere and on cars of people who Have Been Pranked.  This little widget is terrific, and has been immeasurably useful to me on many occasions.  It also sucks, because it relies on my desire to type stuff into my phone, which is better done in short bursts with minimal excess language.  Quite unlike Blagging.  

As such, my notes to myself are usually remarkably brief, and look something like "hd hollygen" which meant something to me at the time, and hopefully will again the next time I look at it.  In this particular instance, it is the product description of a thing I was looking at and the store in which I found it.  I had planned on using this information to compare this product to a similar one at another store, and perhaps later in a session of online shopping.  

A problem arises when these little minimalist notes to myself stop meaning something, as in the case "valve pol fwm eg0612."  That's typed into my phone right now, and I have no earthly clue why.  I could Google it, I'm sure, but I can't be bothered.  If it truly meant something, I would have remembered it, right?  

As of right now, there are three of these little sticky notes in my phone that I can't quite figure out.  It makes me feel like I'm forgetting something.  Though to be more specific, it's actually evidence that I am definitely forgetting something.

That Is All

For the rest of the day, don’t think about elephants

You Know The Sound

That moment when you run out of paper towels, and there’s nobody around to bop over the head with the tube…

So, Jeremy has now delved into the awful awful realm of memespeak.  The whole "That moment..." series should probably die now.  It has nowhere left to go.  

So, we all know how to properly dispose of the cardboard tube left when a roll of paper towels expires.  You take it out of the holder, hit somebody in the head with it, then toss it in the trash can.  It's a universal truth.  

I'm not even sure what is so satisfying about batting somebody in the head with a paper towel tube, but it's pretty much the perfect therapy.  You feel better because you got to hit somebody, the other person is amused by the fact that they just got whapped and it didn't hurt in the slightest, and you both get to have a chuckle at the pleasant "boop" sound the roll makes upon impact.  I'm willing to bet a whole dollar you've never known anybody who got mad at being bopped with an empty paper towel tube.   

Even This Kid 

 

After all that, not long ago, I ran out of paper towels.  I had a perfectly good cardboard tube ready to go, and nobody was nearby to bop over the head.  It was very sad.   

On an unrelated note, here's a magic trick featuring paper towels by internets comedian Bo Burnham

Smell my feet!

BOO!


Uhmm....eek?


Hahahahaaa. Nailed it! Happy Halloween, everybody!

For your own sake, stop reading now.

It was a dark and stormy night...


Okay, this is obviously a Snoopy reference.


Although everyone's favourite Beagle did begin many, if not all, of his literary exercises with the sentence, "It was a dark and stormy night..." that wasn't the intent here. It references a story I heard this morning and had to punish/share with you. Here we go:

• It was a dark and stormy night.
  
  The captain sat down with his crew and said, "Arrr...nights like this remind me of an old sea tale. He began..."It was a dark and stormy night...
  
  The captain sat down with his crew and said, "Arrr...nights like this remind me of an old sea tale. He began...

Okay...we get the joke.

• "It was a dark and stormy night...
  
  The captain sat down with his crew and said, "Arrr...nights like this remind me of an old sea tale. He began..."It was a dark and stormy night...
  
  The captain sat down with his crew and said, "Arrr...nights like this remind me of an old sea tale. He began...
  
  

Please stop...

• ..."It was a dark and stormy night...

I'm leaving.

• The captain sat down with his crew and said, "Arrr...nights like this remind me of an old sea tale. He began...

Oh, delicious irony...

Disney World is a people trap operated by a mouse.


So Bob Iger and the cryogenically frozen remains of Walt Disney have nothing to do with it?


That's really beside the point. What's important is that I have an amusing quote as my status message this morning. This is especially important because we're quickly coming to the end of the Notesbuddy days, and I'll have to switch Instant Messaging programs next week.


Will that affect the Blag we've come to know, love, and depend on?


Not at all. It will only adversely affect things like my ability to do my job properly.


That's a relief.


No kidding. Anyway...for your Blag entertainment today, please enjoy The Invisible Rope Prank!