He shouldn't have been there

Squashing a lightning bug is as interesting as it is sad


You killed a defenseless lightning bug? What a jerk!


In my defense, this particular lampyridum had invaded my bedroom right around bedtime. All I saw at first was a medium-sized insect flying around my room. Not wanting to stand for this sort of intrusion, I grabbed a slipper and went into combat mode. The main overhead light was turned off, so all the light in the room was from a small bedside table lamp. I moved into attack position, slipper at the ready, and when the little sucker landed on the ceiling, I wound up and gave him what for.

Just before impact, the bug decided to light up, as lightning bugs are wont to do, but there was no stopping the slipper. The bug subsequently got splattered all over the ceiling, but to my amazement, he stayed lit. This is the interesting part.

So now, I have glowing bug remnants stuck to the ceiling of my bedroom. This is arguably worse than having a flying insect in there in the first place. So at this point, I took the slipper and again flicked his carcass off the ceiling, sending him about 10 feet (glowing the entire way) to the floor where I could scoop him up and give him a proper burial at sea (read: flush). It was easy to locate the bug once it reached the floor, because whatever makes lightning bugs light up was still going. The more interesting part is that there was still glowing bug goop embedded in the paint on the ceiling. I had to reach up to the ceiling with a paper towel to scrub away whatever it was that was glowing.

I'm still not sure what exact kind of reaction is causing a lightning bug's glow, but we can all rest easy knowing that not only does it not stop after the bug's death by blunt force trauma, but it is also contained within whatever goo the bug leaves on the surface. There's your science lesson for the day.

It's not a question of "if"

Pick Jeremy’s 12-5 Upset! Arizona over Utah, Northern Iowa over Purdue, Wisconsin over Florida State, or Western Kentucky over Illinois


Have you gone mad?


Yes I have....for March Madness!


Okay, seriously...you don't like basketball.


Not the point.

As we've learned over the time we've been blagging together, we've learned that I'm very susceptible to peer pressure. Therefore, when the NCAA Squeekball tournament rolls around in March every year, I get roped into filling out at least one or two of those bracket thingies. I have absolutely no idea what teams are any good, who's been playing well lately, and what team that Tyler guy I'm apparently supposed to know plays for.

I know one fact about the NCAA tournament, and that is that the 12-5 matchup is a statistically significant outlier. You expect the percentage of upsets to increase as you go down the bracket...a #16 team roughly never beats a #1 seed, but a #9 seed quite often takes down a #8. That upset percentage is roughly linear, with one substantial bump at the #5 seed. It's cursed. A #12 seed upsets a #5 more often than they statistically should. That, my friends...is the extent of my NCAA basketball knowledge. Therefore, when I fill out my peer-induced bracket, I will include a peer-induced 12-5 upset based on votes by you, The Most Intelligent Readership In The World.