Jerk

Farewell, Easter Lily I planted yesterday.  We hardly knew ye

I'm sorry for your loss, Jeremy.  

Today, we bring you a tragic tale of love and loss.   

More like apathy and mild irritation, but that's beside the point, really.

So, a little while back, I made a command decision to incorporate more flowers into my spring home decor.  This was a little before Easter time, so I set out to get myself a nice, decorative Easter Lily.   

By that, Jeremy means, "I was in the store, and Easter Lilies were on sale, so he bought one on a whim.  

It was very nice, and bloomed a little before Easter, ultimately having four large flowers.  As is the case with Easter Lilies...

Jeremy knows this because he Googled it...

Easter Lilies will only bloom once indoors, after which, you can transplant them outside and hope for the best.  They are a bulb-based annual, so maybe you'll get more flowers in time.  Because of this, and because I really had nothing else to do with the plant once the flowers wilted, I dug it a nice little hole in my back yard and planted it.  I watered it with great care...

...sprayed water onto it from 10 feet away because the hose didn't reach...

...and vowed to check on its progress regularly.  

It's right outside Jeremy's bedroom window.  By "check on it," he means, "look outside."  

By this morning, a deer had eaten it.  

Mel Brooks Was So Right

Wait….what’s this about Star Wars?  

So for those of you who are caught unawares, a new trailer for the upcoming Star Wars, Episode VII was released yesterday to a collective nerd overload on the internets.  Jeremy hasn't seen it.  

Very true.  I have not watched the trailer for "The Force Awakens."  Not so much because I don't like Star Wars...I do.  I think the original trilogy are three of the best and most accessible examples of science fiction films ever.  And the prequels...well...yeah...any film series that can bat .500 is doing something right.  

So, we finally got the long-awaited trailer for Episode VII, and millions of internet viewers cried out at once.  I'm sure it was wonderful and answers all of the lingering questions from "Return of the Jedi."  Like, will the Jedi race survive, what becomes of Darth Vader and the Emperor, will Anakin Skywalker find his humanity again, will they ever finish building that second Death Star, are Ewoks good for anything?  

Yeah, none of those questions remained after "Jedi."  It pretty well sewed up everything about the series.

Uhmm...okay.  Then why is it we need more Star Wars movies?

Money.  

Oh yes.  Millions of people lined up around the block to watch the prequels and even spent a couple years pretending they were good movies, while dumping untold millions of dollars into the franchise.  There's no reason to pass that up again.  

Making Billions!

My New Superhero Idea:  Data Dude!  Taking A Byte Out Of Cyber Crime

This is what happens when you're allowed to be creative.  For what it's worth, Jeremy's already gotten two messages today telling him what a terrible joke this is.

Today's Sametime Status comes as a result of a conversation I had not long ago with coworker and loyal reader, "Z."  

So this is what happens when you're allowed to talk to people.  Easier solution, I guess...

It was the result of a lack of punctuation on a sentence describing an experiment we're running.  We're being all sciencey and stuff.  The desired sentence was "Free data, dude!" when describing an unintended split condition we had developed which would not convolute the data of the original designed experiment.  The actual sentence was "Free data dude!" which can really only mean two things, both revolving around a new character "Data Dude."  Either he is imprisoned, and a plotline needs to develop in which he is freed, or else Data Dude action figures are being given away as a promotional item.  

Either way, Data Dude needed to be developed.  

No, he absolutely did not.

When I picture Data Dude, if I'm being honest, I can't picture anything too far removed from Duffman.  I mean, really...who doesn't think of Duffman when pondering new superheroes?  Of course, instead of "Duff" written across his chest, he will have his own logo, which practically draws itself:

It's obvious, really.  

Then, he needed a catch phrase and a crime-fighting niche.  Since nobody I know is able to take James vad der Beek seriously as a cyber cop, and he's not even playing a superhero anyway, the arena of cyber vigilante crime fighting is pretty open, as far as I know.  Enter Data Dude, who is here to take a byte out of cyber crime!  It's brilliant!  

And by "brilliant," I mean pretty awful.