Password Day and New Combination Lock Day in one week? This is too much to remember.
So you logged into your email this morning as 8-23-14?
Just about. More likely I'm going to lock myself out of my locker at some point in the near future and that will be significantly more embarrassing.
So, on Tuesday or Wednesday, I lost the lock that I keep on my gym bag, so I had to go out and get a new one. It's unfortunate, because I liked my lock. It was shiny and colorful, so I could find it easily, and the combination was actually easy to remember, since the first and third numbers added up to the second.
Only you would find that significant.
Be that as it may, my new lock is nowhere near as cool. Since our local all-purpose store (For Blag purposes, let's call it "Bull's-Eye") is roughly half the size of most other "Bull's-Eye" stores, they don't have the selection of stuff that you can usually find. As such, I had to settle for a moderately colorful lock, whose combination makes little sense except that two of the numbers are close to each other. How am I supposed to remember this crap first thing in the morning?
Too bad nobody makes a combo lock with a full keyboard so you can use your email password as the combination to the lock.
PATENT PENDING!!!
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
I'll take "Counter Productive" for 200, Alex!
People Who Just Don't Get It; Volume 2: That guy who only goes to the gym on days when they give away free bagels.
The gym gives away bagels?
They sure do. The second Tuesday of every month is "Bagel Tuesday," which by itself isn't such a bad thing...but when there are twice as many people in the gym on that particular day, it raises suspicions.
I even overheard one guy talking about how he never misses bagel day, and how he actually hadn't been to the gym since the last bagel day.
The gym gives away bagels?
They sure do. The second Tuesday of every month is "Bagel Tuesday," which by itself isn't such a bad thing...but when there are twice as many people in the gym on that particular day, it raises suspicions.
I even overheard one guy talking about how he never misses bagel day, and how he actually hadn't been to the gym since the last bagel day.
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
They're fuzzy
It’s Password Day! My email password is no longer T3ddyb3ars
That seems fitting.
Well, it probably shouldn't...
You didn't have a teddy bear growing up?
Well...it was a stuffed dolphin, but that's beside the point.
Still....another remarkably manly email password, Jeremy. Good job.
I guess it's time for the standard disclaimer that none of the passwords I've presented in my Password Day Sametime Statuses has ever been used as my actual email password.
Doesn't that make for a real pain in the buns having to come up with 2 new passwords every password day?
It's a sacrifice I'm willing to make for the loyal readers. You are welcome!
That seems fitting.
Well, it probably shouldn't...
You didn't have a teddy bear growing up?
Well...it was a stuffed dolphin, but that's beside the point.
Still....another remarkably manly email password, Jeremy. Good job.
I guess it's time for the standard disclaimer that none of the passwords I've presented in my Password Day Sametime Statuses has ever been used as my actual email password.
Doesn't that make for a real pain in the buns having to come up with 2 new passwords every password day?
It's a sacrifice I'm willing to make for the loyal readers. You are welcome!
Monday, March 8, 2010
It's a nice crackly hum
I’m starting to think that the only reason I check my mail every day is so I have something to put in the shredder.
Shredding mail is fun.
I very much agree. Most people shred mail items which may contain personal information that can be used for identity theft, like credit card applications and those moronic checks your bank sends you so that you can write a loan to yourself at an exorbitant interest rate. I don't want anybody using those, so I make it a point to shred them. I got a new mail shredder not all that long ago because it was on sale, my old shredder would jam up all the time, and the new one can shred CD's as well. No truth to the rumour that I only bought it because it was featured prominently on an episode of "The Office." (And unlike every other time on the Blag I've said there's no truth to a rumour, there ACTUALLY is no truth to this one.)
The new shredder is a blast. It takes care of business efficiently and substantially...turning an entire envelope full of whatever crap the credit card companies put in it to confetti in seconds. It's a bit of a treat for me, to be perfectly honest, so I look forward to shredding stuff when it comes in the mail. I may go overboard on occasion and shred those coupon books, magazine subscription fliers, town newspapers, business reply postcards, and the credit-card-sized pocket calendar I got from my oil delivery company. None of that needed to be shredded, but I felt happier turning it into shards than simply tossing it in the garbage, so in the slot it goes.
Here's the problem. I don't get any mail that is worthwhile. All of my bills and banking are done online, I rarely look through the coupon books, I don't want or need a new credit card, I'm happy(ish) with my tv and internet service, I have a perfectly reasonable cell phone plan. It's a little disappointing to know that there will be nothing good in the mailbox when I go outside to check it. The saving grace is knowing that whatever's inside has about a 90% chance of going into the shredder within 5 minutes.
Shredding mail is fun.
I very much agree. Most people shred mail items which may contain personal information that can be used for identity theft, like credit card applications and those moronic checks your bank sends you so that you can write a loan to yourself at an exorbitant interest rate. I don't want anybody using those, so I make it a point to shred them. I got a new mail shredder not all that long ago because it was on sale, my old shredder would jam up all the time, and the new one can shred CD's as well. No truth to the rumour that I only bought it because it was featured prominently on an episode of "The Office." (And unlike every other time on the Blag I've said there's no truth to a rumour, there ACTUALLY is no truth to this one.)
The new shredder is a blast. It takes care of business efficiently and substantially...turning an entire envelope full of whatever crap the credit card companies put in it to confetti in seconds. It's a bit of a treat for me, to be perfectly honest, so I look forward to shredding stuff when it comes in the mail. I may go overboard on occasion and shred those coupon books, magazine subscription fliers, town newspapers, business reply postcards, and the credit-card-sized pocket calendar I got from my oil delivery company. None of that needed to be shredded, but I felt happier turning it into shards than simply tossing it in the garbage, so in the slot it goes.
Here's the problem. I don't get any mail that is worthwhile. All of my bills and banking are done online, I rarely look through the coupon books, I don't want or need a new credit card, I'm happy(ish) with my tv and internet service, I have a perfectly reasonable cell phone plan. It's a little disappointing to know that there will be nothing good in the mailbox when I go outside to check it. The saving grace is knowing that whatever's inside has about a 90% chance of going into the shredder within 5 minutes.
Friday, March 5, 2010
How can you threaten a plastic fish?
Give me back the brain cells that got destroyed while listening to that accursed Fillet-O-Fish jingle.
GIVE ME THAT FISH!!
Why did you do that?
It's more fun to annoy you than to agree....even though that is the worst jingle ever.
I see. So anyway...Lent is supposed to be a spiritual time, or something...but McDonald's has chosen to turn people's religious observances into profit by pushing their fish sandwich during a time when many Christians choose not to eat meat on Fridays. Jerks.
It wouldn't be so bad if they did a good job of it, but they give us this horrific commercial. I'm sure you've seen it, but if you haven't, it involves one of those singing plastic fish hanging on the wall. So they take the flawed concept of the plastic singing fish (If you actually bought one of those, stop reading now, and never come back to my Blag) and...here's a twist...make it sing.
Bad singing fish plus bad jingle...sounds like a perfect storm.
Unlike "Plan 9 From Outer Space" this is not one of those 'so bad it's good' moments. This thing is just awful. I think I'm going to kick Ronald McDonald in the face next time I see him for allowing this sort of thing to happen.
GIVE ME THAT FISH!!
Why did you do that?
It's more fun to annoy you than to agree....even though that is the worst jingle ever.
I see. So anyway...Lent is supposed to be a spiritual time, or something...but McDonald's has chosen to turn people's religious observances into profit by pushing their fish sandwich during a time when many Christians choose not to eat meat on Fridays. Jerks.
It wouldn't be so bad if they did a good job of it, but they give us this horrific commercial. I'm sure you've seen it, but if you haven't, it involves one of those singing plastic fish hanging on the wall. So they take the flawed concept of the plastic singing fish (If you actually bought one of those, stop reading now, and never come back to my Blag) and...here's a twist...make it sing.
Bad singing fish plus bad jingle...sounds like a perfect storm.
Unlike "Plan 9 From Outer Space" this is not one of those 'so bad it's good' moments. This thing is just awful. I think I'm going to kick Ronald McDonald in the face next time I see him for allowing this sort of thing to happen.
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
It means the world is going to end
Today’s date is 3-2-1-0. That only happens once every 1.8 million years or something.
Well...every hundred years, actually...but I guess that's beside the point.
Fairly often, a pattern or sequence emerges in the date or time that makes people decide it's newsworthy. Last year alone we had 7/8/9, 9/9/9, and 3/6/9, and some overzealous reporter decided to point out how this number sequence only shows up every 10,000 years. Forget the fact that the way we write dates in the US is different from the rest of the world, where they more logically put the day first (Then, the date is sorted by length...days and shorter than months, which are shorter than years), and the fact that not everyone in the world agrees that this is even the year 2010, according to our arbitrary system, a pattern emerged...and holy crap is it newsworthy!
So today, I would like to point out that by the same arbitrary system, today's date is 3/2/10. At 6:54 AM, it was an even more whimsical 6:54 3/2/10, and it will be again at 6:54 this evening, unless you use the more world-standard 24-hour clock, at which point you already missed it, so don't you feel bad you poor sucker? Since you missed it, there will never be another 6:54 3/2/10 in your lifetime. You'll just have to wait for the next bizarre arbitrary pattern to emerge that won't happen for another 654,000 years. I think it's in August or something...
Well...every hundred years, actually...but I guess that's beside the point.
Fairly often, a pattern or sequence emerges in the date or time that makes people decide it's newsworthy. Last year alone we had 7/8/9, 9/9/9, and 3/6/9, and some overzealous reporter decided to point out how this number sequence only shows up every 10,000 years. Forget the fact that the way we write dates in the US is different from the rest of the world, where they more logically put the day first (Then, the date is sorted by length...days and shorter than months, which are shorter than years), and the fact that not everyone in the world agrees that this is even the year 2010, according to our arbitrary system, a pattern emerged...and holy crap is it newsworthy!
So today, I would like to point out that by the same arbitrary system, today's date is 3/2/10. At 6:54 AM, it was an even more whimsical 6:54 3/2/10, and it will be again at 6:54 this evening, unless you use the more world-standard 24-hour clock, at which point you already missed it, so don't you feel bad you poor sucker? Since you missed it, there will never be another 6:54 3/2/10 in your lifetime. You'll just have to wait for the next bizarre arbitrary pattern to emerge that won't happen for another 654,000 years. I think it's in August or something...
Monday, March 1, 2010
Not sure why I didn't see this coming.
In hindsight, it may not have been a good idea to put the bag of cement next to the snowblower.
Sounds like pretty solid advice.
You're not funny.
I'm not trying to be...I'm just saying that that seems like a pretty hard and fast rule to go by.
I hate you.
Sounds like you need a really concrete solution to this problem.
Sounds like you need to go away.
So yeah...One of the more whimsical by-products of last week's giant snow storm is a lot of water running off from my snowblower. The heavy wet snow stuck to every part of it, and promptly melted when it got into the garage. This is all well and good, because I'm not overly concerned about water on the floor of the garage...except when it runs into the bag of cement I had leftover from replacing my mailbox last summer.
So in the end, I learned a valuable lesson. First, the signs recommending how many bags of cement to buy for a certain project are made by the companies making the bags of cement. This means they overestimate in order to sell you more bags of cement that end up sitting on the floor of your garage next to the snowblower indefinitely. Second...when such an event happens, find a use for said cement fairly quickly before you end up soaking the bag and ending up with a bag of rock on the floor of your garage that can only get tossed in the trash. Good tips for good living!
Sounds like pretty solid advice.
You're not funny.
I'm not trying to be...I'm just saying that that seems like a pretty hard and fast rule to go by.
I hate you.
Sounds like you need a really concrete solution to this problem.
Sounds like you need to go away.
So yeah...One of the more whimsical by-products of last week's giant snow storm is a lot of water running off from my snowblower. The heavy wet snow stuck to every part of it, and promptly melted when it got into the garage. This is all well and good, because I'm not overly concerned about water on the floor of the garage...except when it runs into the bag of cement I had leftover from replacing my mailbox last summer.
So in the end, I learned a valuable lesson. First, the signs recommending how many bags of cement to buy for a certain project are made by the companies making the bags of cement. This means they overestimate in order to sell you more bags of cement that end up sitting on the floor of your garage next to the snowblower indefinitely. Second...when such an event happens, find a use for said cement fairly quickly before you end up soaking the bag and ending up with a bag of rock on the floor of your garage that can only get tossed in the trash. Good tips for good living!
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