Internet Killed the Video Star
I was sorry to see him go. He had a nice long run.
Today's Sametime Status is, of course a reference to The Buggles's song "Video Killed the Radio Star." This is simply the next step in the evolution.
Can we send flowers to the family or something?
Since the advent of The Internet (Or Tubes, if you prefer), everybody has stopped watching music videos. That and MTV and VH1 have decided that showing music videos isn't in their best interests anymore, instead pleasing us with quality, cerebrally-stimulating shows like "Real Chance At Love" and "The Real World/Road Rules Challenge." Personally, I blame the Internet for all of it.
Yeah...that Internet is a jerk. There's nothing good on it.
There's always your favourite Sametime Status Blag.
Like I said....nothing good.
Monday, May 11, 2009
Friday, May 8, 2009
That Guy Nobody Knows but Always Seems to Show Up Near Rhetorical Friday
Why do we have rhetorical questions?
If I pretend to like Rhetorical Friday, will you stop?
Nope.
In that case, I hate you. Why're you so late today?
Ehh...I had a thing at work this morning, so I was doing that instead of writing silliness here. Either way...first Beach Volleyball tournament of the season is tomorrow, so wish me luck!
Don't break anything substantial.
Will do! Have a good weekend, everybody!
If I pretend to like Rhetorical Friday, will you stop?
Nope.
In that case, I hate you. Why're you so late today?
Ehh...I had a thing at work this morning, so I was doing that instead of writing silliness here. Either way...first Beach Volleyball tournament of the season is tomorrow, so wish me luck!
Don't break anything substantial.
Will do! Have a good weekend, everybody!
Thursday, May 7, 2009
It didn't even come with an airbag
Your tax money at work: You just wasted $53.57 on Chrysler. Congratulations!
Presenting: a rare moment of political punditry from Jeremy.
So a little while back, we as taxpayers were told that we needed to bail out billionaire bankers who did stupid things and lost money by giving them more of our money.
This prompted everyone else under the sun to ask, "so what similar scams can I run to get taxpayer money?" and some of them succeeded. One group of people who had that thought were the people who run General Motors and Chrysler, two of the "Big Three" automakers in the US. They showed remarkable business savvy by flying corporate jets to Washington to beg for taxpayer money because they couldn't run their business properly and were losing money. They needed our money to avoid bankruptcy. Keep that in mind...it becomes important later.
Like the kind-hearted souls we all are, instead of offering them the business end of our boots, we offered them lots and lots of money. Since the money was officially termed a "Loan" the good folks at Chrysler and GM generously offered to pay us back, and like the kind-hearted morons that we are, we believed them, and even rooted for them to succeed. Of course, none of us ran out and immediately bought a new car.
The end result, as we all know, is that not long ago, Chrysler filed for bankruptcy. Even with 7.5 Billion dollars of YOUR money, they still couldn't make their company work and have officially failed. Here's the best part...according to the terms of their bankruptcy, it was announced this week that Chrysler Won't be Paying Back the Government Loans. That's right, kids. Those 7.5 billion dollars that YOU spent on Chrysler is now down the toilet. It's gone.
Highly Reliable Sources tell me that there are roughly 140 Million taxpayers in the US today. That 7.5 Billion Dollars we've now wasted on Chrysler amounts to $53.57 each. Hope you didn't have anything you needed THAT for.
Presenting: a rare moment of political punditry from Jeremy.
So a little while back, we as taxpayers were told that we needed to bail out billionaire bankers who did stupid things and lost money by giving them more of our money.
This prompted everyone else under the sun to ask, "so what similar scams can I run to get taxpayer money?" and some of them succeeded. One group of people who had that thought were the people who run General Motors and Chrysler, two of the "Big Three" automakers in the US. They showed remarkable business savvy by flying corporate jets to Washington to beg for taxpayer money because they couldn't run their business properly and were losing money. They needed our money to avoid bankruptcy. Keep that in mind...it becomes important later.
Like the kind-hearted souls we all are, instead of offering them the business end of our boots, we offered them lots and lots of money. Since the money was officially termed a "Loan" the good folks at Chrysler and GM generously offered to pay us back, and like the kind-hearted morons that we are, we believed them, and even rooted for them to succeed. Of course, none of us ran out and immediately bought a new car.
The end result, as we all know, is that not long ago, Chrysler filed for bankruptcy. Even with 7.5 Billion dollars of YOUR money, they still couldn't make their company work and have officially failed. Here's the best part...according to the terms of their bankruptcy, it was announced this week that Chrysler Won't be Paying Back the Government Loans. That's right, kids. Those 7.5 billion dollars that YOU spent on Chrysler is now down the toilet. It's gone.
Highly Reliable Sources tell me that there are roughly 140 Million taxpayers in the US today. That 7.5 Billion Dollars we've now wasted on Chrysler amounts to $53.57 each. Hope you didn't have anything you needed THAT for.
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Fiesta!
In a bit of Revisionist History, the Polish actually settled Mexico, thus making Pierogi an appropriate meal for Cinco de Mayo.
Interesting...I had always thought it was the Spanish and French that settled that area.
Most people do think that, and given the Spanish language, cultural influences, and history books, it's pretty easy to understand why. However, the real story is one of bravery and heroism from Poland leading to the settling of Central America. I'll leave the research as an exercise for the reader.
So this has nothing to do with you forgetting to go to Taco Bell yesterday and eating pierogi instead?
Not a thing. Why do you ask?
Interesting...I had always thought it was the Spanish and French that settled that area.
Most people do think that, and given the Spanish language, cultural influences, and history books, it's pretty easy to understand why. However, the real story is one of bravery and heroism from Poland leading to the settling of Central America. I'll leave the research as an exercise for the reader.
So this has nothing to do with you forgetting to go to Taco Bell yesterday and eating pierogi instead?
Not a thing. Why do you ask?
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
I have hair...
Stupid Bumper Sticker of the Day: "If It's Got Hair, It's Just A Cat"
The sticker had a picture of a cat on it too.
So apparently, anything with hair is now considered a cat. Good to know. So those deer that run through my back yard?
Now cats.
The squirrel I almost ran over on my way to work this morning?
It's just a cat.
That grizzly bear that comes for your sandwiches when you're on a camping trip...relax! It's just a cat! Biology has officially taken a back seat to bumper sticker catch phrases that really make no sense. I'm sure there's some kind of inside joke going on here, probably some elitist crack on people who don't own hairless cats (which are remarkably creepy, by the way), but as a stand-alone bumper sticker, it's really just pretty moronic.
The best part of this story is that the driver's son or daughter is an honors student at a local middle school. The bumper told us that, too!
So either the offspring is adopted or somehow got the shallow end of the gene pool. Good for you, kid!
The sticker had a picture of a cat on it too.
So apparently, anything with hair is now considered a cat. Good to know. So those deer that run through my back yard?
Now cats.
The squirrel I almost ran over on my way to work this morning?
It's just a cat.
That grizzly bear that comes for your sandwiches when you're on a camping trip...relax! It's just a cat! Biology has officially taken a back seat to bumper sticker catch phrases that really make no sense. I'm sure there's some kind of inside joke going on here, probably some elitist crack on people who don't own hairless cats (which are remarkably creepy, by the way), but as a stand-alone bumper sticker, it's really just pretty moronic.
The best part of this story is that the driver's son or daughter is an honors student at a local middle school. The bumper told us that, too!
So either the offspring is adopted or somehow got the shallow end of the gene pool. Good for you, kid!
Monday, May 4, 2009
I vote yes
Does my shampoo smell differently than it did before?
Do you seriously want people to come up and smell your hair today?
Actually, no. I guess it's more of a rhetorical question than anything else.
In that case, it belongs on Friday.
I don't know...it's been bugging me for a few days ever since the bottle change. I bought the same brand, the same type, the label looks exactly the same, the ingredients haven't changed...and yet, it smells different.
Nothing like starting your morning with a little confusion in the shower.
Usually, when companies change their product, they let you know about it, or put one of those "New Look, Same Great Taste" labels on the package...
Don't taste the shampoo.
...or the standard "New and Improved" implying that you've been using old and inferior this whole time. But in the situation of my hair care, none of this is the case. It's troubling. I need answers to this serious dilemma.
Do you seriously want people to come up and smell your hair today?
Actually, no. I guess it's more of a rhetorical question than anything else.
In that case, it belongs on Friday.
I don't know...it's been bugging me for a few days ever since the bottle change. I bought the same brand, the same type, the label looks exactly the same, the ingredients haven't changed...and yet, it smells different.
Nothing like starting your morning with a little confusion in the shower.
Usually, when companies change their product, they let you know about it, or put one of those "New Look, Same Great Taste" labels on the package...
Don't taste the shampoo.
...or the standard "New and Improved" implying that you've been using old and inferior this whole time. But in the situation of my hair care, none of this is the case. It's troubling. I need answers to this serious dilemma.
Friday, May 1, 2009
Special Assistant to Mr. Rhetorical Friday
There is only one man who can rid the politics of this State of the evil domination of Boss Jim Gettys. I am speaking of Charles Foster Kane, the fighting liberal, the friend of the working man, the next Governor of this State, who entered upon this campaign.
Political speeches from old movies? Seriously...this is the best you've got?
Not only is today's Sametime Status a quote from the greatest movie of all time (Sorry, Pauly Shore fans), but it's also an example of "False Dilemma," which makes today Rhetorical Friday!!!
Of course...Rhetorical Friday...really should have guessed.
Well, the People demand it. Incidentally, today is a momentous day.
It sure is! Today marks the 400th post in the history of Jeremy Is In The Office! As surprised as I am that you've made it through 400 posts of this crap, I'm sure there's a person out there looking forward to the next 400.
Hi, Mom!
Political speeches from old movies? Seriously...this is the best you've got?
Not only is today's Sametime Status a quote from the greatest movie of all time (Sorry, Pauly Shore fans), but it's also an example of "False Dilemma," which makes today Rhetorical Friday!!!
Of course...Rhetorical Friday...really should have guessed.
Well, the People demand it. Incidentally, today is a momentous day.
It sure is! Today marks the 400th post in the history of Jeremy Is In The Office! As surprised as I am that you've made it through 400 posts of this crap, I'm sure there's a person out there looking forward to the next 400.
Hi, Mom!
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