"Okay, so far our ideal party consists of: beer, fights to the death, cupcakes, blood pudding, blood, touch-football, mating, charades, and, yes, horse hunting." Jim Halpert; Dunder Mifflin
That sounds like it would be fairly interesting...not unlike a lot of college parties.
So over the past few weeks at Dunder Mifflin, Jim and Dwight got put in charge of the party planning committee. What we've learned is that both Jim and Dwight individually and collectively suck at planning parties.
Since I don't really have anything else interesting to talk about today, you get to watch a cool video involving science and fire:
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Coworkers are awesome!
“Well, today is a monday after a weekend.” – Anonymous Coworker
Today is Wednesday.
Yes, yes...so ideally, I should have waited until next monday to use this as my Sametime Status, but it just amused me too much to not share it with you right away.
There was a meeting across the hall from my office, and an anonymous coworker offered this as an explanation for why something wasn't going to get done in as timely a manner as some manager would have preferred.
Personally, as much as I don't like mondays (so much so that some of you may have noticed that I categorically refuse to capitalize the word "monday" regardless of its position in a sentence), I do tend to prefer the mondays that occur after weekends, rather than those that happen in the middle of the week. For example, if you take Wednesday off work for personal reasons, the following Thursday immediately becomes monday. That is somewhat balaned out by the fact that the previous Tuesday becomes Friday. In that instance, you have a week with two mondays, two Fridays and nothing else.
What I haven't decided on is if you were to take Thursday off. That Friday then becomes monday and Friday rolled into one. Does one take precident over the other, or does it all blend into a Wednesday? Discuss!
Today is Wednesday.
Yes, yes...so ideally, I should have waited until next monday to use this as my Sametime Status, but it just amused me too much to not share it with you right away.
There was a meeting across the hall from my office, and an anonymous coworker offered this as an explanation for why something wasn't going to get done in as timely a manner as some manager would have preferred.
Personally, as much as I don't like mondays (so much so that some of you may have noticed that I categorically refuse to capitalize the word "monday" regardless of its position in a sentence), I do tend to prefer the mondays that occur after weekends, rather than those that happen in the middle of the week. For example, if you take Wednesday off work for personal reasons, the following Thursday immediately becomes monday. That is somewhat balaned out by the fact that the previous Tuesday becomes Friday. In that instance, you have a week with two mondays, two Fridays and nothing else.
What I haven't decided on is if you were to take Thursday off. That Friday then becomes monday and Friday rolled into one. Does one take precident over the other, or does it all blend into a Wednesday? Discuss!
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
This Blag is TOAST!
Gozer the Gozarian. Good evening. As the duly designated representative of the city, county, and state of New York, I order you to cease any and all supernatural activities and return forthwith to your place of origin or to the nearest convenient parallel dimension.
Obviously a Ghostbusters reference...what's it doing here?
Well, at volleyball last night, several of us got into a discussion of movie quotes which led to my standard recitals of this quote, the "I believe in the soul" speech from Bull Durham, and Clark Griswold's rant about his boss from Christmas Vacation. In addition, the assembled group repeated practically the entire script from Ghostbusters entirely from memory. Good times. The conversation included the phrase that leads to many Sametime Statuses: "you know...that would make a good Status Message!" Therefore, here is it. Enjoy!
Obviously a Ghostbusters reference...what's it doing here?
Well, at volleyball last night, several of us got into a discussion of movie quotes which led to my standard recitals of this quote, the "I believe in the soul" speech from Bull Durham, and Clark Griswold's rant about his boss from Christmas Vacation. In addition, the assembled group repeated practically the entire script from Ghostbusters entirely from memory. Good times. The conversation included the phrase that leads to many Sametime Statuses: "you know...that would make a good Status Message!" Therefore, here is it. Enjoy!
Monday, February 16, 2009
Who invented mondays anyway?
Fewer skunks need to get run over along my way to work. Get on that, Nature.
Driving past a lot of dead skunks? That really stinks.
Thank you for that.
This morning, my way to work was polluted by no less than 4 dead skunks. As it turns out, that seemed to be the perfect precursor to my morning. mondays suck.
Driving past a lot of dead skunks? That really stinks.
Thank you for that.
This morning, my way to work was polluted by no less than 4 dead skunks. As it turns out, that seemed to be the perfect precursor to my morning. mondays suck.
Friday, February 13, 2009
The Ghost of Rhetorical Friday Past
Will inflation jokes ever get old?
The answer is yes, but I imagine you're going to provide details.
Indeed! Inflation jokes suck.
It's an all-too-common device used in movies to really help you accept the world that the director has chosen for you. We've all seen it. A guy goes into the past and buys a newspaper and candy bar, asking if $2 is enough, only to have the standkeeper look at him and say that it's only 15 cents. Or in the Arnold Schwarzenegger classic "The Running Man" a woman is lamenting the $7 cost of a bottle of pop/soda out of a vending machine. Immediately, you're supposed to think, "Oh wow...stuff costs different amounts. That's proof positive that this film is set in a different time than I'm used to. I'm now fully immersed in the director's fantasy."
That's crap.
Inflation jokes are the filmmaking equivalent of "Cheap Heat" in pro wrestling. A bad guy grabs a microphone and insults the town they're all in, and he gets boos. Another guy grabs a mic and talks about how "the best fans in the world are from *insert current city here*" to great applause.
I was at a concert a while ago where the performer (we'll ignore the name because it's embarrassing) used up all of his or her cheap heat in one shot. The performer literally went on the following streak: "How about those Bills?" *Pause for cheers* "Are they going to win the Super Bowl?" *Pause for more cheers* "How about those Sabres?" *Pause for still more cheers* "Are they going to win the Stanley Cup?" *Pause for even more cheers* "Dominik Hasek is in the audience tonight!" *Pause for most cheers yet while a spotlight shines on a man in the crowd*. But that was it! The performer's entire knowledge of the city of Buffalo was used up in about a minute and a half. I was supposed to believe that the performer actually knew or cared about the city rather than having merely been briefed about the local sports teams in between songs. In fact, I'm willing to bet that somewhere on the stage the list of teams and the titles they competed for were written down for the performer's benefit outside of the audience's view. I'm certain that "Dominik Hasek" was spelled out phonetically. The truth is, this performer cared for Buffalo for the entire duration of the concert, and possibly until the check cleared, then promptly forgot the name of the arena, let alone who that goalie guy was she had to point out in the audience.
The same holds true for inflation jokes. The only thought the director or screenwriter put into the time displacement was to come up with some clever way of revealing to the viewers that stuff costs a different amount in a different time. The characters probably also wear different clothing, too...but that's even easier. If your film is set in the past, you can refer to old pictures and even wikipedia to come up with a period look. If you're set in the future, just make clothes shinier. Boom. Filmmaking laziness at its finest! Now sit back and watch the money roll in.
The answer is yes, but I imagine you're going to provide details.
Indeed! Inflation jokes suck.
It's an all-too-common device used in movies to really help you accept the world that the director has chosen for you. We've all seen it. A guy goes into the past and buys a newspaper and candy bar, asking if $2 is enough, only to have the standkeeper look at him and say that it's only 15 cents. Or in the Arnold Schwarzenegger classic "The Running Man" a woman is lamenting the $7 cost of a bottle of pop/soda out of a vending machine. Immediately, you're supposed to think, "Oh wow...stuff costs different amounts. That's proof positive that this film is set in a different time than I'm used to. I'm now fully immersed in the director's fantasy."
That's crap.
Inflation jokes are the filmmaking equivalent of "Cheap Heat" in pro wrestling. A bad guy grabs a microphone and insults the town they're all in, and he gets boos. Another guy grabs a mic and talks about how "the best fans in the world are from *insert current city here*" to great applause.
I was at a concert a while ago where the performer (we'll ignore the name because it's embarrassing) used up all of his or her cheap heat in one shot. The performer literally went on the following streak: "How about those Bills?" *Pause for cheers* "Are they going to win the Super Bowl?" *Pause for more cheers* "How about those Sabres?" *Pause for still more cheers* "Are they going to win the Stanley Cup?" *Pause for even more cheers* "Dominik Hasek is in the audience tonight!" *Pause for most cheers yet while a spotlight shines on a man in the crowd*. But that was it! The performer's entire knowledge of the city of Buffalo was used up in about a minute and a half. I was supposed to believe that the performer actually knew or cared about the city rather than having merely been briefed about the local sports teams in between songs. In fact, I'm willing to bet that somewhere on the stage the list of teams and the titles they competed for were written down for the performer's benefit outside of the audience's view. I'm certain that "Dominik Hasek" was spelled out phonetically. The truth is, this performer cared for Buffalo for the entire duration of the concert, and possibly until the check cleared, then promptly forgot the name of the arena, let alone who that goalie guy was she had to point out in the audience.
The same holds true for inflation jokes. The only thought the director or screenwriter put into the time displacement was to come up with some clever way of revealing to the viewers that stuff costs a different amount in a different time. The characters probably also wear different clothing, too...but that's even easier. If your film is set in the past, you can refer to old pictures and even wikipedia to come up with a period look. If you're set in the future, just make clothes shinier. Boom. Filmmaking laziness at its finest! Now sit back and watch the money roll in.
Thursday, February 12, 2009
He just doesn't get it.
"I have got to make sure YouTube comes down to film this." Michael Scott; Dunder Mifflin
Office is a welcome sight. That means it's Thursday...which is nearly Friday.
You can say that again. The sooner this week ends, the better. But tonight is the big finale to the 2-part Office episode "Lecture Circuit" in which Michael is for some inexplicable reason asked to tour around to all the Dunder Mifflin branches to teach about sales. So far, he's done a pretty miserable job, as you might expect.
On a separate but nearly equal TV note, it seems I was a little mistaken about yesterday's Demetri Martin appearance on Comedy Central. Apparently, Demetri is the host of a new show which will be airing Wednesday nights from now on. The show is called "Important Things" and yesterday's episode was entitled "Timing." So I guess you should look for that every Wednesday. Cool!
Office is a welcome sight. That means it's Thursday...which is nearly Friday.
You can say that again. The sooner this week ends, the better. But tonight is the big finale to the 2-part Office episode "Lecture Circuit" in which Michael is for some inexplicable reason asked to tour around to all the Dunder Mifflin branches to teach about sales. So far, he's done a pretty miserable job, as you might expect.
On a separate but nearly equal TV note, it seems I was a little mistaken about yesterday's Demetri Martin appearance on Comedy Central. Apparently, Demetri is the host of a new show which will be airing Wednesday nights from now on. The show is called "Important Things" and yesterday's episode was entitled "Timing." So I guess you should look for that every Wednesday. Cool!
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
"Timing" is everything today.
"I used to play sports. Then I realized you can buy trophies. Now I'm good at everything." - Demetri Martin
So, the remarkably busy work week continues here in Jeremy's Office. He'd like to remind you to watch the new Demetri Martin special "Timing" tonight on Comedy Central. It's going to be great.
So, the remarkably busy work week continues here in Jeremy's Office. He'd like to remind you to watch the new Demetri Martin special "Timing" tonight on Comedy Central. It's going to be great.
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