Creativity is a premium today.
Jeremy is having a remarkably busy week at work so far. As such, Sametime Statuses and Blag Entries involving extra time and creativity to come up with may suffer a bit. You'll get crap instead, which isn't so bad, because that's what you're used to.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Monday, February 9, 2009
Vroom!
"I did as little work as possible to get my car to run imperceptibly faster!"
Uhm....good for you?
Good for the person stopped at the red light next to me.
Him too.
So, you've probably seen lots of cars with various decals on the windows for performance modifications the owners have made to their cars. For most of those people, modding the cars is a hobby and it entertains them, causing no harm to most people except making them listen to a car that now sounds like a high-pitched fart due to the high-flow exhaust system you mounted on, neglecting the fact that the catalytic converter causes the majority of the exhaust backpressure, and that their engine was probably tuned to a certain amount of backpressure which now may or may not exist because of the new exhaust which won't increase your performance because the engine is now out of tune.
Anyway...when you buy these performance mods, they often (or so I'm told) come with stickers that you can put on your windows to prove to everyone else driving that you're not only a high roller, but your car might now go slightly faster than it did when you drove it off the lot. Go you. I drove up next to a car not long ago that had one sticker in the window for a mod well done. It was for an improved air filter they had installed from a brand we'll call "N&K". This company makes high-flow air filters which are remarkably easy to install. There is little more to the process than removing the old air filter (which all auto manufacturers make easy to remove because it's a consumable) and dropping in their new one. Voila! Your car now has slightly less trouble breathing and can possible have an extra 5% horsepower or so which you'll never notice while driving. In fact, I have one on my car...but mostly because this filter type lasts about 10x longer than a traditional paper one, so I don't have to remember to change it all the time.
The fact remains that this particular driver was so proud of installing the "N&K" air filter that he put the sticker up in his window. I'm proud of him. He still drives a beat to crap old junker, but at least it has 5 horsepower it didn't before he went to work on it.
Uhm....good for you?
Good for the person stopped at the red light next to me.
Him too.
So, you've probably seen lots of cars with various decals on the windows for performance modifications the owners have made to their cars. For most of those people, modding the cars is a hobby and it entertains them, causing no harm to most people except making them listen to a car that now sounds like a high-pitched fart due to the high-flow exhaust system you mounted on, neglecting the fact that the catalytic converter causes the majority of the exhaust backpressure, and that their engine was probably tuned to a certain amount of backpressure which now may or may not exist because of the new exhaust which won't increase your performance because the engine is now out of tune.
Anyway...when you buy these performance mods, they often (or so I'm told) come with stickers that you can put on your windows to prove to everyone else driving that you're not only a high roller, but your car might now go slightly faster than it did when you drove it off the lot. Go you. I drove up next to a car not long ago that had one sticker in the window for a mod well done. It was for an improved air filter they had installed from a brand we'll call "N&K". This company makes high-flow air filters which are remarkably easy to install. There is little more to the process than removing the old air filter (which all auto manufacturers make easy to remove because it's a consumable) and dropping in their new one. Voila! Your car now has slightly less trouble breathing and can possible have an extra 5% horsepower or so which you'll never notice while driving. In fact, I have one on my car...but mostly because this filter type lasts about 10x longer than a traditional paper one, so I don't have to remember to change it all the time.
The fact remains that this particular driver was so proud of installing the "N&K" air filter that he put the sticker up in his window. I'm proud of him. He still drives a beat to crap old junker, but at least it has 5 horsepower it didn't before he went to work on it.
Thursday, February 5, 2009
By The Way...
Hi everybody. LIR here.
Jeremy would like me to inform you that Jeremy Is In The Office will be out of the office tomorrow and will not be checking messages while away.
In an emergency, please contact the backup: Jeremy's Status Message.
Jeremy Is In The Office will return on monday, February 9th with more Statusey goodness.
Jeremy would like me to inform you that Jeremy Is In The Office will be out of the office tomorrow and will not be checking messages while away.
In an emergency, please contact the backup: Jeremy's Status Message.
Jeremy Is In The Office will return on monday, February 9th with more Statusey goodness.
I'm actually not sure I've ever had one.
Hooray for Matzo balls!
Mazel tov!
So, today's Sametime Status may require a little bit of explanation. I'm pretty sure I have zero experience with matzo balls, but I can't be 100% sure...maybe I've had one or two in my life, but at most, it wasn't a memorable experience. Now eating the "Basement Cheese" was life-altering because it was that bad...so if I've had a matzo ball, it was definitely well above that.
Regardless...I followed an SUV on my way to work this morning whose license plate was obviously supporting the New York Mets. I can respect this because if this person is a Mets fan that means, like any other decent human being, they hate the New York Yankees, who don't even deserve a link in my blag.
I forget exactly how they had things spelled out on the plate, but the general idea was "Lets Go Mets" and they had "MTZ" to shorten "Mets." No big deal...but my brain started working on ways to screw that up...because that's the sort of thing I do. The first thing that popped into my head was "Lets Go Matzo!" so obviously this person is a fan of Matzo Balls...so I decided to help support their cause and cheer on boiled dumplings.
Mazel tov!
So, today's Sametime Status may require a little bit of explanation. I'm pretty sure I have zero experience with matzo balls, but I can't be 100% sure...maybe I've had one or two in my life, but at most, it wasn't a memorable experience. Now eating the "Basement Cheese" was life-altering because it was that bad...so if I've had a matzo ball, it was definitely well above that.
Regardless...I followed an SUV on my way to work this morning whose license plate was obviously supporting the New York Mets. I can respect this because if this person is a Mets fan that means, like any other decent human being, they hate the New York Yankees, who don't even deserve a link in my blag.
I forget exactly how they had things spelled out on the plate, but the general idea was "Lets Go Mets" and they had "MTZ" to shorten "Mets." No big deal...but my brain started working on ways to screw that up...because that's the sort of thing I do. The first thing that popped into my head was "Lets Go Matzo!" so obviously this person is a fan of Matzo Balls...so I decided to help support their cause and cheer on boiled dumplings.
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
I can haz Spring nao?
Coolest part of my morning: Listening to water freeze on my sunroof.
You lead a sheltered life.
Yesterday's whimsical mix of weather led to ice on top of my car. Overnight, it sat in the garage, where the ice melted...so when I set off to work today, there were little puddles of water on the sunroof...no big deal.
The combination of 11 degree temperatures (-12C) and the wind chill associated with driving, even though my commute did not exceed 35MPH at any point due to following an oil truck the entire frickin' way, caused the water to refreeze. Forgive the play on words, but this was remarkably cool. It made little crackly sounds as it froze, and I could actually see the crystals forming. (Police, please note, I was only watching the crystals forming while stopped at the red light.)
Then it hit me...this is the best part of winter...well, that and hockey season. And if that really is the case, then I've now seen the best Winter has to offer, and I'm done with it now. Let's have some sun and warm temperatures...I'm ready to barbecue! Nuts to winter, I am now officially ready for Spring, Groundhog or no groundhog.
As a side note, Oil Trucks have replaced cement trucks as the bane of my driving existence. Back when I first started driving, it was uncanny how often I'd end up following a cement truck going 30MPH down the road. Nowadays, I almost invariable end up behind an oil truck...equally annoying, and I think they smell a little worse. Now is a good time to switch to natural gas, people!
You lead a sheltered life.
Yesterday's whimsical mix of weather led to ice on top of my car. Overnight, it sat in the garage, where the ice melted...so when I set off to work today, there were little puddles of water on the sunroof...no big deal.
The combination of 11 degree temperatures (-12C) and the wind chill associated with driving, even though my commute did not exceed 35MPH at any point due to following an oil truck the entire frickin' way, caused the water to refreeze. Forgive the play on words, but this was remarkably cool. It made little crackly sounds as it froze, and I could actually see the crystals forming. (Police, please note, I was only watching the crystals forming while stopped at the red light.)
Then it hit me...this is the best part of winter...well, that and hockey season. And if that really is the case, then I've now seen the best Winter has to offer, and I'm done with it now. Let's have some sun and warm temperatures...I'm ready to barbecue! Nuts to winter, I am now officially ready for Spring, Groundhog or no groundhog.
As a side note, Oil Trucks have replaced cement trucks as the bane of my driving existence. Back when I first started driving, it was uncanny how often I'd end up following a cement truck going 30MPH down the road. Nowadays, I almost invariable end up behind an oil truck...equally annoying, and I think they smell a little worse. Now is a good time to switch to natural gas, people!
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
DOOMED, I TELL YA! DOOOOOOOMED!!!!
Bird Flu has been sighted in Canada!
It's official. Bird Flu has been confirmed in North America.
Here's a press release, in the form of a cookie-cutter newspaper article:
Canada investigates possible avian flu outbreak
It's official. Bird Flu has been confirmed in North America.
Here's a press release, in the form of a cookie-cutter newspaper article:
Canada investigates possible avian flu outbreak
Monday, February 2, 2009
Don't tell me what happened
Wait...there was a game yesterday?
Yep....it was a good one, too.
Oh well...I guess I'll catch the replays on CNN or something.
Moving on, today is the day that the Fabulous Furball of Forecasting makes the decision on whether or not Winter is over. So with a foot of snow still on the ground and more coming in the next two days, he amazingly tells us that we get six more weeks of winter. Jerk.
The whole thing is predicated on whether or not our boy Punxsutawney Phil is scared back into his hole by his shadow. I say the whole thing is nonsense. If I were to wake up from a nap and 10 thousand people are watching me wake up, cheering for me, and some dude who looks like a 19 century Flavor Flav (No, I'm not making this up...check the Photo Gallery if you don't believe me) yanks me out of bed...I'm going to be scared, too.
But the bottom line appears to be six more weeks of winter. In one respect, I'm somewhat envious of Phil...he's just going to go back to bed and wake up when winter's over...I still have to get up.
Yep....it was a good one, too.
Oh well...I guess I'll catch the replays on CNN or something.
Moving on, today is the day that the Fabulous Furball of Forecasting makes the decision on whether or not Winter is over. So with a foot of snow still on the ground and more coming in the next two days, he amazingly tells us that we get six more weeks of winter. Jerk.
The whole thing is predicated on whether or not our boy Punxsutawney Phil is scared back into his hole by his shadow. I say the whole thing is nonsense. If I were to wake up from a nap and 10 thousand people are watching me wake up, cheering for me, and some dude who looks like a 19 century Flavor Flav (No, I'm not making this up...check the Photo Gallery if you don't believe me) yanks me out of bed...I'm going to be scared, too.
But the bottom line appears to be six more weeks of winter. In one respect, I'm somewhat envious of Phil...he's just going to go back to bed and wake up when winter's over...I still have to get up.
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