There's A Convenience Store Across The Street

A 5 dollar bill was out of order in my wallet.  It was mass hysteria

I'm very disappointed in you, Jeremy.  How could you let such a thing happen?

I'm not sure why I let things get this bad, but it was traumatic earlier today when I found out.  

So, the term "OCD" is highly overused, with people with mild compulsive tendencies over dramatizing themselves, claiming they have a clinical diagnosis of a debilitating disorder.  These people are insane.  

I, myself, have a couple small compulsions, though you'd never guess that by walking through my house 90 percent of the time.   About the only thing I'm really excessively scrupulous about is the cash in my wallet.  At all times, the bills must be lined up facing the same direction, right-side-up, and in denominational order.  This simply makes sense.  You either do it this way, or you're wrong.  This method makes it a very straight-forward process to determine roughly how much cash I have on me at any given time (Couple 20s in the back = OK.  Handful of Bills, and a Single in the back = I'm broke).  I can also pay any cashier with ease, knowing exactly where any bill should be...no more sorting through wads of folded-up money, trying to figure out if that 1 really means 10.  

Well, the whole dang opera fell apart today when I discovered a 5 mixed in with the 1s.  I don't know how a tragedy like this could have occurred, but my best guess is that I got a single back as change and just put it in the back of the pile, not realizing that there was a 5 back there.  Either way...massive systemic failure for Jeremy.  

This horror show was only compounded later.  Since I had like 8 dollars, it was time for a trip to the ATM.  The machine spit out my fat stack of 20s (not really all that fat, if I'm being honest...please don't mug me), and every last one of them was in a different orientation than the previous.  I had to stand there for multiple seconds, the machine desperately asking if I wanted to make another transaction while I sorted the mess out.  At least I had the presence of mind to put the new bills in the back of my wallet.  (Right next to my mace and stun gun...please don't mug me.)

6 Or 7 Problems, Tops

I want to hear a rap song about a guy who is a mediocre rapper

This is a lie.  Jeremy doesn't want to hear any rap songs.  

Okay, so while "want" may be a subjective term here, it's probably safer to say I would be interested in the existence of one.   

As you know, 83% of all rap lyrics are spoken in the first person narrative, mostly centered around the individual rapper's dealings with the clubs, women, money, guns, drugs, and automobiles (including the size of their associated rims).  Often, substitute names for these items are provided and are usually not safe for a PG audience such as the one which reads this family-friendly Blag. 

Another main point of emphasis is the fact that the speaking rapper is a better rapper than any other.  This is a recurring theme amongst every rapper, which would seem to discredit their claim on being the best rapper, but that seems to be no deterrent.  Every rapper I have ever heard claims to be the best rapper.  As one example, Kendrick Lamar, Jay Z, Raekwon, Kool Keith, Fat Joe, Papoose, Uncle Murda, Mobb Deep, and The Notorious B.I.G. have all made unsubstantiated claims to being the "King Of New York."  I'm not making any of those up.  

So, I'm more interested in the rapper who understands that in the voluminous genre of hip hop music, his contributions are probably not the greatest.  Bell curves exist for a reason, and over 99% of all data is within a couple standard deviations from the average.  Evidence and science suggest that if you do come out with your own rap album, despite how many claims you make to the contrary, you probably fall somewhere in the middle.  But I guess nobody wants to hear a rap song about a guy who makes a decent living, rolls on 16s, goes to the club once in a while and has a couple drinks while he's there.  

I mentioned the family-friendly nature of the Blag here, which is why I'm not going to link to a video of Jon LaJoie's parody music video "Regular Everyday Normal Guy," but you can probably find it easily enough if you're interested. 

I Don't Have Any Relatives Named Waldo

New Hobby, ignoring the poster and just looking at a picture on Facebook to try to guess which person I actually know

I'll stick to MySpace, thank you very much.  

Facebook sucks.  

As much as I have some suggestions for improving it (My best idea is filtering posts by author and subject.  ie: if a friend posts a picture of his dinner every single night, but you still want to stay Facebook Friends with that person, filter out any posts by that person with a photo of food or the hashtag "nomnomnom."  This is not a hypothetical example.), I've largely given up on having a giant atomatonic corporation take my advice on their product.  Suffice to say, whatever changes are made to Facebook will not really improve the finished product, because the finished product is actually a by-product of what other people put onto it.  I hope that sentence made sense.  

Basically, people post crap on Facebook, and Mark Zuckerberg isn't going to change that.  It only gets worse as more external sites add a "Post This To Facebook" button, making the spread of obnoxious banality that much easier.  As a consequence, I get to scroll through 10 different results to the "Which 'My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic' Character Are You?" quiz.  (Incidentally: Discord)  Combined with that, the novelty of setting my default language to "Pirate" died away some time ago, and I never changed it back.  I rarely post, "Like", or comment on anything.  I never respond to messages, and Throwback Thursday can stick it where the sun doesn't shine.  It's entirely up to me to make my social media experience tolerable again, but the usual stuff has lost all of its luster.  New ways to enjoy Facebook are required! 

I'm "Friends" (Technically "Me Hearties," but that's splitting hairs) with 260 people and in Facebook limbo with 3 others.  Most of those people don't seem to post anything either, but among the rest, I have some "Hearties" who post a lot, and others who post A LOT.  What I've taken to doing is scrolling past their name without looking (at least trying not to cheat) and guess, based solely on the post, who said it.  

Some of them are easier than others.  Baby pictures are easy and posts about parenting advice only have one or two options.  Right-wing political rants are from one person, right-wing political rants with non-stop spelling errors are from another.  Left-wing political rants have a handful of choices, but sometimes are given away by locality.  Somebody talking about what they did at crossfit today only has one possibility, and posts with more than 3 hashtags (all of which spelled incorrectly because they end in intentionally repeated letters and I don't know whyyy) are the same 2 or 3 people every time.  

There are other posts when it gets hard, and here is where the challenge and thus, potential enjoyment lies.  Some real life examples from my current Facebook Feed:  "Good old duct tape, what would we do without you?" "Lobbying, representing Tennessee. Let's get them to tennebelieve in nuclear physics," and "So was the Clippers protest their armbands or the pathetic game they played against the Warriors?"  Those really could have come from anywhere, so I can only rely on my personal knowledge of my friends and their tendencies to post stuff to deduce who wrote them.  (Believe it or not, I got 2 out of the 3 correct).  

The most fun comes from pictures.  A lot of the time, people post pictures of themselves and I look at them and say, "Oh, that's *Insert Me Hearty's Name Here*" and move on with life.  Of course, some of my Hearties are from years ago, and I haven't actually seen them in ages, but I'm pretty good about recognizing them.  Then, there are the group photos.  Pictures including 10 or more people, most of which I've never met before.  They contain a single Hearty blended out of context with a group of total strangers.  I will occasionally stare at one for entire seconds looking for the one person out of the conglomeration that I actually recognize.  It's basically my own little version of "Where's Waldo" but I'm not told in advance which Waldo I'm looking for or how he's dressed.  I don't even have to pay for the book! 

No Dancing, Either

There was a fox in my back yard recently.  Unfortunately, it didn’t say anything


So we still have no answer to that question.  That's a shame.  


So recently, I added to the stable of wildlife that calls my back yard home.  We're all familiar with my pet deer, my canary Rodney, and the neighbor's cat.  There have also been the occasional sightings of wild turkeys and other birds, noteworthy and otherwise, and there may have been a raccoon at one point, bit I'm not sure.  Well now, I have a fox.  It really was very exciting.

I'm not so sure I've ever seen a fox before, but there was definitely one the other day.  Just trotting his way across my yard, doing his little fox things.

Much to my chagrin, however, he didn't say anything.

If you don't get the joke, I don't understand how, because you're on the internets, so you must have seen This Video by now.  

Also: Chemtrails!

So I guess it’s back to plastic bags and styrofoam plates for me


Coming down off our Earth Day high horse a little hard, aren't we? 


Well, I figure that if it's good enough for everybody else to pollute and litter the environment 364 days of the year, only to be reminded that we currently only have one planet to work with one day in the middle of April, then it's good enough for me! 

Sure, the Earth is important.  To paraphrase The Tick, it's where I keep all my stuff.  That said, generally speaking, I don't do a whole heck of a lot of good for the environment.  I drive at least 25 miles a day in an only mildly fuel-efficient car (about 26MPH city during the summer...less in winter when I have snow tires), I heat my home with fossil fuels, I use plastic bags on many occasions, the Adorably Tiny Cafeteria Thing In My Building uses plastic utensils, styrofoam plates, styrofoam coffee cups, and sells single-serving snacks in plastic bags.  (God save me, I can't understand why the little bag of Gummi Worms is in the "Healthy Snacks" display)  I fertilize my lawn and use a sprinkler when I plant grass seed.  And my mower runs on gasoline. 

But I don't completely suck. 

Yes, I do a better job than many people when it comes to sorting my trash for recycling.  My car is mildly fuel efficient...as in I don't drive a giant truck.  I turn lights off when I leave a room and don't leave the water running while I brush my teeth.  I have a programmable thermostat to keep my house cool when I'm not home, and I do try to consolidate my chores into a single driving outing whenever possible. 

So, Earth Day.  Yes, it's a thing.  We all think we're doing wonderful good for our planet by turning the lights off for an hour and reading by the glow of our smartphone screens.  Realistically, we don't care.  We're not going to stop driving.  We're not going to live in the cold (or hot in the summer...hello air conditioning!).  We're not going to magically stop producing garbage.  And we're not going to stop visiting places we eat because they use foam plates.  We're going to watch tv and hear about all the good we're doing by turning off the lights while everyone else believes the environment doesn't care what we do to it.  It's a little sad...because it's the only planet we get. 

My Brain-Dead Morning

I remembered the detour this morning, but not that it didn’t start until next week

One step at a time, Jeremy.  

Well, I see this as an opportunity for growth...or something.   

Anyway, there's a joke back where I grew up that there are two seasons.  Winter, and Road Construction.  Turns out, this is also true here in the Greater Jeremy Area.  Now that the snow is gone from the roads, it's time to fix all the potholes (and by that, I mean just dump a bunch of asphalt in the holes and ignore the fact that it doesn't quite line up or make anything resembling a smooth driving surface) and replace the bridge on the only road that makes a reasonably direct path between my house and work.  

That's right, a 2.1 mile detour around the bridge because there's absolutely no easy way to get around it.  Not such a big deal, but taking that detour involves making a right turn at a place where I've been taking a left turn every day for a number of years.  Autopilot is going to kick in at some point, and I'm going to go the usual way toward the bridge and end up looking stupid as I turn around to take the detour.  I know this in advance.  I have made my peace with it.  

Fortunately for me, I remembered about it this morning, so I took the detour.  Hooray!  

Only problem is that the bridge won't be closed until next week.  It's not such a big deal that I ended up going 2 miles out of my way to get to work today.  I see it as practice for the start of the main event next monday.  If I get in the habit of taking the detour now, before I need to, there will be that much better a chance of remembering it once they actually do close the bridge.  At least that's what I'm telling myself. 

It Should Be Like A Shenanigan, Right?

I find it sad that you can’t be up to a single hijink 

That seems strange.  What if people aren't into that much trouble?

I don't know!  This is a problem, everybody.  Apparently, hijinks is one of those strange unquantifiable nouns that just happens to end in s.  There is no such thing as a hijink.  I sincerely doubt that's going to prevent me from using the word anyway.  I mean...after all...isn't that how the definition of "Literally" got changed to include "Figuratively"?  Enough people kept using the word incorrectly all the time, that the people who make dictionaries just got tired of telling people they were wrong and changed it.  I think we're staring at another great opportunity to accomplish the same thing, but for a much greater benefit to the world.  

And if you're not into that...Watch This Video of a baby elephant charging at a truck full of tourists.  It's exactly as adorable as you think it is.  

Happy Easter, everybody! 

Oh, Yeah...And The IRS Agent...

In hindsight, it’s pretty ironic that a pro wrestler nicknamed “The Barber” had a mullet  

Ahh...the 80's.  An entire decade of bad decisions.  Watching pro wrestling, for one.  

Hey!  There's nothing wrong with enjoying a little sports entertainment now and again.  However, there's nothing right about mullets...and there really never has been.  

So, back around that timeframe, there was a pro wrestler named Brutus Beefcake.  As if "Beefcake" wasn't enough, he felt like he needed a nickname.  And unlike sone awful pro wrestling nicknames such as the "Repo Man" or, "The Dumpster," or an evil dentist, or "Adam Bomb" or "Doink The Clown"...I could go on...Brutus chose something with class, distinction, and intimidation.  He went with "The Barber."  

He would walk to the ring holding a shiny pair of hedge clippers, and cut the hair off of any opponent he happened to beat.  I Am Not Making This Up.  

The only problem was...he had a truly awful haircut himself.  There were very few other people in wrestling at the time who could have benefited more from a new haircut than "The Barber" himself. 

With Apologies To Sergeant Rizzo

Strangely, lesson number 1 at the driving school isn’t “Be able to see out of your windows.”

Usually seems like an important part of the driving experience.  

I would have thought so, especially since I'm a big fan of being able to see stuff when driving, but apparently not.  I learned this earlier today.  Let's take a step back.

On my commute to work, I drive past a Driving School.  They teach regular driver's ed, CDL certification, big trucks, buses, defensive driving courses...all the things you would expect from a driving school.  Also, as you would expect from a driving school, they have their name plastered all over their vehicles (pronounced vee-HICK-uhls) in addition to having one of those "STUDENT DRIVER" placards on top of the car.  As such, they're pretty hard to miss...visually.  

Also worthy of note is that it April 16th, and we got about an inch of snow overnight in the Greater Jeremy Area.  All the roads were clear, but everybody's lawn was covered up, and most people's cars had a coating of snow on them.  

So, as I'm nearing the driving school, I see one of the class cars pulling out of their parking lot.  The person driving the car didn't bother clearing off any of the side or back windows.  They just let the windshield wipers deal with the front and drove off.  I expect this from most people, but not from a school that teaches defensive driving.  I was curious, so I went online to see what else their curriculum includes.  The results were astonishing.

• Horn Honking for Beginners
• Tires.  What are they?
• High Beams.  Leave Them On For Safety
• The Pittsburgh Left and Other Advanced Maneuvers
• Texting and Getting Away With It
• Turn Signals?
• Wings, Stripes, and Fart Cans.  An Introduction To Street "Racing"
• Speed Limits.  Safety, or Big Oil Conspiracy?

Well, needless to say, I'm skeptical about this particular driving school.  But, that said...I guess I've never seen one of their cars or trucks overturned in a ditch, so maybe they know what they're doing after all.  

Need A Really Big Band-Aid

I missed the eclipse last night.  Mostly because it was raining, but at least partially because I was asleep

You should have seen it.  It was all eclipsy and whatnot.  

So last night...or this morning, as the case may be, was the big lunar eclipse.  Super exciting in that the moon passes through the earth's shadow.  Truth be told, it is pretty cool to watch one of those, but the hype that surrounded this one was a little strange.  It was called "Blood Moon" which had to make fans of the Terminator at least a little happy.

For those who are not aware of Jeremy's reference there, Moon Bloodgood is an actress who played an important role in "Terminator: Salvation," in addition to many other roles.  

As much as I knew there was a lunar eclipse happening last night, I was also aware that it was raining, so I couldn't have seen the moon at all if I wanted to.  I'll go with that as my official reason for missing "Blood Moon 2014."  Not the fact that it happened at 3AM and I was sound asleep dreaming about ice cream.  

I Hear The Hot Dogs Are Good, Too

In honor of National Barbershop Quartet Day, today’s Sametime Status is sung in 4-part harmony

Ladies and Gentlemen, Jeremy will be traveling to Coney Island.  The only reason he's doing this is so he can sing "Coney Island Baby" when he leaves. 

So, today is certainly special for being National Barbershop Quartet Day...which is little more than an excuse to get people to listen to This Da Vinci's Notebook Song.  It's also my official first day of spring!  

Good think you pointed that out.  Most people would have missed that, considering spring started like three weeks ago.

Well, this is different.  

You don't say.

Today is a more personal milestone, in that it's the first day that there hasn't been any snow in my front yard.  That's right...the last of that flaky white crap finally melted yesterday.  At the end of my driveway, where once stood a 7-foot mound of Mother Nature's Dandruff, the last bastion of winter finally gave way to the change of seasons.  It's truly a day to celebrate.  Unfortunately, it's now raining across the Greater Jeremy Area, so any celebrating will have to be inside. 

I Broke A Mirror Typing This Post

Do people not remember posting the “Money Bags” image on Facebook last March?

But...but...it only happens once every 823 years.  Obviously, the last time it happened, people were encouraged to post about it on Facebook or else it would bring them bad luck.  

Facebook sucks.  

I'm currently "friends" with several hundred people, ranging from people I see and talk to fairly frequently to people I went to the same high school with, didn't really talk to them at the time and haven't seen hide nor hair from since.  I have 8 people in "Facebook Limbo" where they've sent me a friend request and I've ignored it, and I'm pretty sure at least 3 people have me in the same holding pattern (Come on, people!  I'm lovable!  Be my friend!).  I've also blocked app invitations from 7 people, and blocked 13 apps altogether.  (I'm sorry if that hurts your Bubble Safari or Bingo Bash, but tough cookies) That's how the circle of social networking works.  

It also works in that you become "friends" with people you wouldn't ordinarily tolerate in real life, because you can usually just skip over their stuff in your feed, or hide it and nobody's the wiser.  Those people are inevitably the ones who post every single list from Buzzfeed, every "Which 'The Hills' Character Are You" quiz, every Facebook chain letter (Only 1.7% of my friends will post this crap on their wall...are YOU one of them?), a picture of every dinner and drink they ever consume, and of course...Moneybags.  

If you're not familiar with the Moneybags post on Facebook, I'm really curious how you're reading this Blag because you're obviously not aware of the internet.  This nonsense points out that some coming month has 5 each of Fridays, Saturdays, and Sundays.  The ancient Chinese/Japanese/Mongolian/Mayan/Incan people called this "Moneybags" and it only occurs, as LIR mentioned above, once every 823 years.  If you post that particular message to your Facebook, you're going to get lots and lots of money, and if you don't, you'll wind up dead in a ditch, your carcass being savaged by wild wolverines...or something.  This is according to some ancient religious aspect of whatever country is mentioned in this version of the Moneybags post. 

As it turns out, "Moneybags" will be happening this coming August, so I've seen this thing pop up on my Facebook feed 6 times this week.  Six of my friends don't want to be devoured by wild wolverines, or maybe they want money, I don't know.  Or perhaps 6 of my friends don't want to be my friend anymore...an entirely real possibility. 

What these friends seem to have forgotten is that March 2013 was also a "Moneybags" which means that the whole 823 years concept is a little bit exaggerated, as they had to wait a whole year and a half.  After this coming August, you'd expect to not see another Moneybags until 2837 (ironically, August 2837 begins on a Saturday, so it only has 4 Fridays and is NOT a Moneybags).  However, it turns out you don't have to wait quite that long, as the next Moneybags will happen in May 2015, followed by January and July 2016 and December of 2017...I could go on. 

It's not such a bad thing that people post inanities like this on Facebook.  It doesn't take a lot of my life to laugh at them and move on.  It's not even that people spray every last shred of even the most mild pithiness all over Facebook.  My problem is that people have become so accustomed to spraying that pithiness that they don't even pay attention to the pithiness that they're spraying.  It's spewing for the sake of spewing, and they don't even know what it is that they're dumping onto the world.  Please stop with the Moneybags. 

In A Heap Of Trouble Now

I would have made a great Uriah Heep joke, but nobody would have gotten it

You underestimate your readership.  I think at least a couple people out there have read David Copperfield.  

Except that I would have made the joke about the band Uriah Heep, not the Dickens character.   

So maybe I overestimated you.  It won't happen again.  Was there a McBox reference somewhere or something?

So, I'm in the middle of a book where there's a character named Uriah.  It really doesn't go much beyond that.  Every time I come across his name, the song "Easy Living" starts playing in my head, even though that's not even the one song the group had that cracked the top 40 in the US.  The book has nothing to do with the band, or England for that matter, but since very few people are actually named Uriah these days, my brain goes on little adventures.  

But since nobody's ever heard of the group, my joke would have been lost on everybody.  It's a shame, really...it would have been good. 

You'll Be Sadly Angry At This

Scientists have identified, but not named, 15 new emotions.  Get on that, Internet!

Contrary to what Jeremy would have you believe, they all have titles associated with them.  They're just not pithy and clever.  Either way, the Internet should still see this as a challenge and come up with names for all of them.

Up until recently, there were apparently only six emotions.  You could be Angry, Disgusted, Fearful, Happy, Sad, or Surprised.  That was it.  Now, because of Science, we've come to realize that combinations of these emotions exist and are perfectly valid as well.  So, we get ridiculous constructs like "Disgustedly Surprised" for when somebody Smacks You With A Handful Of Eggs, though I can't imagine a little anger not being mixed in there too. 

This is all well and good, but there are at least two problems with this new system.  The first is that the names aren't new names.  If you combine the colors red and yellow, you get orange, not "Red-Yellow."  These new emotional combinations need names.  I'm not creative enough to do this for more than "surpewed" (the aforementioned Surprised/Disgusted combination), but the Internets, if absolutely nothing else, are full of people who make up words and phrases, though usually by accident or ignorance.  It seems a shame to let a resource like that go to waste.

Secondly, there are emotional combinations that are still left out of this list.  You can be Happily Angry when somebody plays a really funny prank and you just happen to be the victim.  Pride is nowhere to be found.  Neither is Frightfully Amused, such as when you whip your head around because you forgot to check for people behind you before farting.  These are problems, people!  Sadly, I'm forced to Call Bunk on the new emotion study for the National Academy of Science.  Try again, Science! 

Irresponsible Use Of Helium

Goodyear is planning to lie to us and keep calling their new zeppelin a “blimp”

If you tell us that it's made of Led...

Relax.  There are no stupid airship jokes here.  I'll leave that to Cartoons.  

What's important to know today is that the iconic Goodyear Blimp is being retired.  Strictly speaking, all three of Goodyear's iconic Blimps are being retired, with the last slated to be decommissioned in 2018.  The good news is that they're all being replaced by Zeppelin's!   

That's right...the new Goodyear "Blimps" are being made with a semi-rigid skeleton, making them technically not blimps at all, but Zeppelin's.  They're going to be bigger, be able to hold more people, have bathrooms (a little surprising that the old ones didn't, but that's beside the point entirely), and be able to fly faster. 

How fast does the Goodyear Blimp/Zeppelin fly, you ask?  Faster than you think.  Here's a Fun Fact!  The current generation of airships top out around 50MPH (80km/h), while the new Zeppelin NT will pin your ears back at a blistering 73MPH (117km/h).  It's slower than my car on the highway, but come on...it's a blimp for crying out loud...sorry...zeppelin!  

Except for the fact that Goodyear has already come out and said that they will not be referring to the new airships as the "Goodyear Zeppelins."  Much like how public perception has officially changed the definition of "Literally" to include "Figuratively," Goodyear has decided that use of the name "Goodyear Blimp" trumps actually calling the ship by its correct name.  As such, despite the fact that Count Ferdinand von Zeppelin gave his name to this exact type of airship, that name will be left off of the Goodyear Blimps.  Oh, the humanity...

nuqDaq 'oH puchpa''e'

Mostly disappointed that the Klingon version of Rosetta Stone was a hoax

But...but...it was personally endorsed by Michael Dorn!  (TV's Mr. Worf, for those who are unawares)

As it turns out, you apparently can't believe everything you see on the internets.  Especially around the end of March/beginning of April time period.  Who knew?  

Unless it's on Wikipedia, then is has to be true.  That's one of the rules.

Exactly.  Anyway,  Thinkgeek offered up a Klingon Language version of the famous Rosetta Stone software for those of you who need to learn the official language of Qo'noS.  I'm sure by now, everyone is aware that Klingon is an entirely real language with College Courses and everything, so it stood to reason that a Rosetta Stone version would exist for it.

Well, it turned out to be bunk.  

I was just as disappointed as you when I found this out.  Maybe I should have watched to the end of the video when it said that the offer was not valid on Earth.  Silly Terrans. 

I Named One Of Mine Nermal

Today in Jeremy’s Krafting Korner:  Origami Kittens!  

Hooray!  It's about time you got around to something with kittens in it.  Kittens are my favorite!  LOL!  I especially like the kittens in This Youtube Video!

That one's only an hour long.  Can it have even a quarter of the funniest kittens on the internets?

I guess you'll have to tell us all an hour from now!  LOL!

So anyway...everyone loves kittens, but not everyone loves cleaning the hair off the furniture, or cleaning out the litter box.  So, here's a fun way to have all the cute and cuddly kittens you want with none of the work!  I have about 30 of these in random places around my house now, and you can too!  Here's how to make Origami Kittens!

To form your Kitten's face:
Step 1: Start with a 6 inch square origami paper color side down. Fold on horizontal diagonal axis. Crease well and unfold. Fold the paper over on vertical diagonal axis but only crease on the center point.
Step 2: Fold the top tip down to meet the center point. Then fold over the center crease.
Step 3: Fold the right tip to meet bottom point 'A". Similarly, fold left tip.
Step 4: Fold both the right and left tips upwards to form ears.
Step 5: Fold the top tip downwards, slightly above the intersection of center seam and ears.
Step 6: Flip paper over. Fold 35% of the bottom tip upwards.
Step 7: Fold down the tip of your Kitten's nose.

To form your Kitten's body:
Step 1: Start with a 6 inch square origami paper color side down. Fold on vertical diagonal axis. Crease well and unfold.
Step 2: Fold both sides upwards towards the center crease.  Then fold in half along the crease.
Step 3: Fold parallel to the short side, 60% up the hypotenuse.
Step 4: Fold along intersection of main body and new hypotenuse (This is your Kitten's tail!)
Step 5: Undo your last two folds.  Using the creases made, you can now bring the right tip over to the left and squash it down.
Step 5: Fold The tail up between two corners.
Step 7: Fold your kitten's tail in half by bringing the left flap over the right.

Complete Your Kitten:
Step 1: Attach Kitten head to Kitten body. (Tape or hot glue work equally well)
Step 2: Draw eyes and whiskers (Or attach googly eyes) on your kitten's face.
Step 3: Say "Meow" in a high-pitched and happy voice.  Listen carefully for purrs.   

When you're all done, you'll have an adorable kitten, ready to play in a box!  Here's one I made last night:

Have fun, everybody!  Come back and share with us your pictures of Origami Kittens, and make sure to leave comments!  BYEEEE!  LOL!